faiiryonaciid-blog reblogged
faiiryonaciid-blog reblogged
goodnight 🌾
ig: sweetdre.ams
faiiryonaciid-blog reblogged
a really long, but categorized, ask meme
ACTIONS - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
- *Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*
- *Slaps you*
- *Kisses you on the lips*
- *Bites your lip*
- *Rubs your shoulders*
- *Dumps ice water over your head*
- *Winks at you*
- *Flips hair at you*
- *Throws a ball of paper towards you*
- *Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*
- *Slams the door shut behind you*
- *Storms out of the room*
- *Wraps my arms around you from behind*
- *Kisses your neck*
- *Nibbles on your earlobe*
- *Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*
- *Strokes your hair*
- *Caresses your cheek*
- *Holds you in my arms*
QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION
- “You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?”
- “I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?”
- “I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel.”
- “Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes.”
- “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”
- “Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”
- “If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you.”
- “Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”
- *Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”
QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION
- “I’m sorry, have we met before?”
- “I don’t know you, but thanks.”
- “You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?”
- “We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again.”
- “Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?”
- “It’s none of your business. We just met.”
- “Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”
- “I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich.”
- “Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry.”
QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION
- “Did you get that email I sent you last night?”
- “No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”
- “I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!”
- “I know what you’ve got in that top drawer.”
- “I can’t believe you’re drunk at work.”
- “You know, most people watch porn at home.”
- “Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband.”
- “Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!”
- “If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too.”
- “You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?”
QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION
- “Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”
- “We lost the playoffs.”
- “The girls team beat the boys!”
- “I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office.”
- “Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours.”
- “I heard they were fucking in the bathroom.”
- “She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!”
- “She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth.”
- “I can’t believe we’re graduating this year.”
- “Being a freshman sucks.”
- “I slept with a sophomore last weekend.”
- “She/he told me they were a junior!”
- “Why are those freshmen staring at you?”
- “Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?”
- “How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?”
- “Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”
- "I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”
- “I definitely failed that test.”
- “I got an A on my essay!”
QUOTES - SASS EDITION
- “Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out.”
- “I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number.”
- “Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”
- "I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give.”
- “What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains.”
- “Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you.”
- “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
- “At this point you might as well ask for my autograph.”
QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION
- “You know I’m right! I’m always right!”
- "Shut up. Just shut up!”
- “I don’t need to listen to this.”
- “You’re lying.”
- “I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you.”
- “I can’t look at you.”
- “Don’t fucking touch me.”
- “If you say one more word, I swear…”
- “Pipe down, you’re making a scene.”
- “What’s wrong with you?”
- “Now I know why people think you’re neurotic.”
- “You must be crazy.”
- “I’m not backing down.”
- "You can’t hide the truth forever, you know.”
- “What’s your issue?”
- "You make me so angry.”
- "This has nothing to do with you.”
QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION
- "And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”
- “I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?”
- “I’ve never been good at this. I don’t do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”
- "You’re the one that I want.”
- “I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”
- "Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else.”
- “I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind.”
- “I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life.”
- “I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”
- "I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now.”
- “Please, don’t leave me.”
- “I need you more than you will ever know.”
- “I love you more than I could ever express in words.”
QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION
- *Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*
- “I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!”
- “I brought vodka and ice cream.”
- “You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads.”
- “I can’t believe you went without me!”
- “I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?”
- “I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!”
- “I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
- “Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up.”
TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION
- [TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?
- [TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.
- [TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.
- [TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.
- [TEXT] Do you even love me?
- [TEXT] What happened to us?
- [TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.
- [TEXT] IM26C4U.
- [TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.
- [TEXT] I couldn’t care less.
- [TEXT] Now you know how it feels.
- [TEXT] I still love you.
- [TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.
TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION
- [TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.
- [TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.
- [TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??
- [TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.
- [TEXT] I don’t know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!
Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems
faiiryonaciid-blog reblogged
piiiety
Sometimes manipulation is necessary
faiiryonaciid-blog reblogged
lnternetuncle-deactivated201504
Angel (1887), Abbott Handerson Thayer / This Year, The Mountain Goats