i've seen this movie

snail foods (snoods)

😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

if you excuse the bad editing it would look like this

can we hit 150k before this piece of shits one year anniversary

u know before yellow emojis took over as automatic, the one we used for this exactly was O_O . which has unfortunately become the shortcut for the stupid blushy one. but we also used to emphasize the emotion by making the mouth bigger, O_________O . there was also o_O , for when you're weirded out, and o_o for small weirds or intrigue. you could use a period instead of an underscore for the mouth, o.o, O.O, which was a little more like shock.

there was also -_- for when you're annoyed. -_-* for pissed. the asterisk is a forehead vein. a very bad day or very bad joke could result in -___________-********** .

anyway that's your history lesson for the day, dont forget your roots.

love characters who are like "this is how the world works. this is how it has to be (because if i'm wrong i have to face what i've done // if i'm wrong i have to face whats been done to me) "

This trait is much more endearing in fiction than in my mother.

This isn't very hard when you know some of the most genius strategies in human history were incredibly stupid, circumstantial events that led to victory by sheer luck of that strategy working.

Case in point: Tsun Zu's rival defended a city with 10 men against Tsun's army of hundreds by disarming his own soldiers, dressing them in plain clothes, INVITING Tsun's army to come in, and it only worked because Tsun knew the guy was an ambush master and thought "if we attack the city he's inviting us into, we will die." and left without even trying ON THE BASIS OF HIS RIVAL'S REPUTATION AND NOTHING MORE

Another example: Tsun Zu, on being told his soliders were out of arrows during a battle against a city across a river from them, had his men craft scarecrows, put them on a boat, send it out on a line, leave it there for half an hour, then pull it back in and used the arrows the enemy had fired at the boat to restock their own ammunition. It only worked because it was foggy and the enemy couldn't tell the difference between the scarecrows and actual soldiers.

Stupid things like that work INCREDIBLY WELL if the circumstances favor them, so you really don't need to come up with some multi-layered, Shikamaru-esque strategy. You just need to come up with a strategy you like for the characters involved, then write the circumstances (weather, environment, individuals involved) to favor it enough that it works.

unlike real life when writing you can always work backwards, too, which negates the need for genius (tho, like, normal smart helps)

so you can start with a thing like "nobody would expect an attack from underneath the castle!" and then design your castle with :

feature that allows this (catacombs from before the ancient cathedral was renovated into a full blown castle)

reason nobody would expect it (the renovators sealed off the catacombs, current occupants don't know the catacombs exist)

genius reason Our Great Hero thinks to make use of this (his common sense but deeply insightful assessment causes him to question where the rain water drains from the multiple terraced courtyards and grand balconies (the renovators did leave a drainage system that exits via the catacombs, which works so well that the current occupants never had reason to wonder about water drainage)

one or two additional things that help make it genius (Our Hero knows the castle used to belong to the original cathedral people, some of whom still live nearby and are bitter about losing the castle to the current occupants)

optional: additional improvised stroke of genius during the event (Our Hero finds current occupants legendary un-beatable foe [previous occupant's great grandfather] interred in catacombs and leads the invasion of the castle dressed as said legendary foe in his very recognizable armor that has clearly been sitting in a crypt for a hundred years.)

Note: the thing that makes this genius is that it succeeds, btw, so you write that everybody falls for it. If everybody saw through it right away, nobody would think it was genius, which is sort of how it works in real life too, there's a kind of survivor bias in the way we see strategic genius

this video i found on pinterest kicks ass

What the fuck, thats dudes

omg I'm crying I was looking through old newspapers from the 1800s and there's this article here about flora and fauna from south america but the illustration to go with it is just so unabashedly horny

DID THE DEVIL TREE TAKE HIS CLOTHES, TOO?

mbti is my favorite pseudoscience bc it was invented by a mother and daughter. believe women

NO WAY…

I had to chase up that citation. Turns out she was indeed fujoing out

omg she literally was born in the wrong era it’s not fair…. She deserves to have this adapted into a prestige miniseries with Nicholas galitzine and Jacob elordi… “her imitations of homosexuality were undignified” is breaking my heart 💔 like who among us has not heard that. Waow. We really are the daughters of the fujoshis you couldn’t burn

WRITING IS MY PASSION

this is how it's done 10/10 no notes

stealing content from twitter because there is NO WAY I'd get away with putting this on our twitter account but OH MY GOD

#ok but micheal whelan has some of the most erotic paintings#i love his work to death#but yeah this is not the only example

So I have just been idly scrolling through his website, which is phenomenal, and yes, a lot of his stuff is... rather horny.

But like. SPECIFICALLY Elric is definitely the horniest.

This man is supremely talented and he has made my day.

Also, because it's Tumblr I have to spell everything out. Use your own personal definition of what constitutes a major versus a minor holiday

To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

What’s up just a reminder that the Hula Girl stereotype can go to hell and is in part responsible for Hawai’i being the tourist destination and getting invaded by rich white people, and for Hawaiian culture being disrespected and appropriated

Here’s a few sources on the topic:

How America’s Obsession With Hula Girls Almost Wrecked Hawai’i (the site is weird but the research is legitimate, gives a good overview of the issue and references a lot of sources that are harder to get your hands on read: books)

“Pop” Goes Hawai’i: The Twentieth Century Origins of Tourism in Hawai’i and the Impact of U.S. Pop Culture on Women in the Islands of Aloha (this one is very long but a really good read)

Misperceptions of the “Hula Girl” (this one is a personal essay but it’s an entry in the University of Hawai’i’s academic newspaper)

Cool cool so its Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month so I’m gonna uh. reblog this

Also if you don’t have the time and/or energy to read through these articles lemme give you the basic breakdown (I’ll try to keep this short, but I’ll put it under the cut because it’ll probably still take up space)

as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it

"anakin shouldn't have done that" he was huffing space gasoline at age 7 literally what did you expect. "obi-wan shouldn't have done that" he literally goes through a window face first in episode 2. "padme shouldn't have done that" she's had a career since she was 10

OVER 20? i thought that shit was at 14 god's honest truth. which is bad enough but WORSE? holy shit. you could fucking fly a jet plane through the holes in his brain, legend has it if you get a brain scan on that man the scarring on his frontal lobe spells out 'HELP.' fucking 20+? that live fast die young ass motherfucker. born with a job, broke both legs by 6, death NASCAR career by 9, logged his first kill at 11, married at 19, 20+ workplace electrocutions by 22. installs his first authoritarian government by 22. overachieving but in all the wrong fields only. i mean 20+? that man hasn't walked in a straight line in years. holy fuck man. 20+? yeeeeeeeeeeesh. holy shit. fuck

i've crunched the numbers and analyzed the situations man and i tell you i ran this in the most favorable of conditions. assuming this boy turned 19 literally 5 minutes before AOTC picks up and Space Years can be substituted by our years, and by '20+' we mean 21, this dude gets electrocuted every 7.4 weeks. dude...... like bro. like man.

HEY SO IT WASN'T FAVORABLE CONDITIONS APPARENTLY IT WAS FUCKING 30 TIMES FOR A RATE OF 1 ELECTROCUTION EVERY 5 WEEKS HAHAHAHAHAHA