Mild nsfw whoops 😅

Everyone (aka the 0 ppl still active and following this blog 😅) PLEASE manifest good sex for me, and soon!

The girl I’m seeing is so gorgeous and her kiss drives me insane and I’m just PRAYING she thinks I’m hot and wants to fuck me too HAHA AGHHHH GAY PANIC

Just 8 months ago I was given the most beautiful gift I have ever received.

Just 34 weeks ago I read probably the most heartfelt words I’ve ever had the honour of reading.

Just 8 months ago my partner, for our anniversary, wrote the most beautiful letter detailing what they saw when they looked at me. Saying they saw home.

I think of those words far too much, bc something that honest and beautiful and vulnerable was made just for me? I can hardly believe it, still to this day.

8 months ago those words were true. And now they aren’t. I don’t understand how she saw my soul, captured it words, put it to page, and now 8 months later she feels none of it anymore.

How they could speak of home, and forever, and wanting to wake by my side every single day. How they could see me in a way that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see for myself, how they could be so deeply in love with me. And how all of that could be completely erased in less than a year.

I was always terrified that one day she’d wake up and slowly fall out of love with me. I was SO SCARED. And she said that was something she could never do. For something I was so afraid of, I sure was surprised when it happened. I didn’t even see it coming. I truly truly truly never saw it coming.

I listened to their words and trusted every last one, like a partner is supposed to do.

And yet I am ultimately “set free” once again. Caring more than I am cared for. Loving deeper than I am loved. Totally blind to what is so obvious to everyone else. Giving my whole heart, soul, and everything I am to someone who doesn’t want it. Heartbroken and betrayed night after night, while they live a beautiful and carefree life, looking for their next adventure and next love.

Sorry to get so emo, just trying to come to terms with losing my soulmate ❤️