• ❝ this is the first time i feel alone. ❞
• ❝ all i found were ghosts. ❞
• ❝ you did what you had to do. ❞
• ❝ you think you can kill me? have at it. ❞
• ❝ the truth is, the other side had reasons, too. ❞
• ❝ it was us or them. ❞
• ❝ how bad does it suck? ❞
• ❝ i’m not gonna hurt you. ❞
• ❝ i will do everything you say, i promise. ❞
• ❝ we said we wouldn’t talk about it. ❞
• ❝ why are we sitting here in the dark? ❞
• ❝ i will not let anything happen to you. ❞
• ❝ maybe they’re friendly. ❞
• ❝ now promise me. ❞
• ❝ i promise. ❞
• ❝ i think he/she/they might be a good guy. ❞
• ❝ there are no good guys. ❞
• ❝ i don’t think we should do this. ❞
• ❝ we can do this. ❞
• ❝ is that really a risk you’re willing to take? ❞
• ❝ i don’t want to be that person again. ❞
• ❝ that’s one of the reasons why i love you. ❞
• ❝ thanks for the empathy. ❞
• ❝ happily ever after is harder than it looks. ❞
• ❝ we’re family, and nothing can change that. ❞
• ❝ you’re right. you’re screwed. ❞

• “You ever seen a ghost?”
• “Say more right now”
• “I used to see the ghost of a little girl in a Victorian nightgown”
• “Let’s change the subject”
• “This is a weird topic”
• “None of us ever really know our fathers”
• “We don’t have time to unpack all of that”
• “STREET SMARTS!”
• “Sit up straight! Be respectful!”
• “So say a kidnapper grabs you and throws you in the trunk of their car”
• “Brush your teeth! Now BOOM orange juice, that’s life”
• “That’ll throw him off his rhythm”
• “Weird, psych-out, backroom Chicago violence”
• “As any Chicago cop will tell ya, a phonebook doesn’t leave bruises”
• “Okay, when you get kidnapped- not if, when”
• “If you get taken to a secondary location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to none”
• “I thought I was gonna be murdered my entire childhood”
• “What would Leonard Bernstein do”
• “Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money!”
• “Now you have the audacity to ask me for MORE money?!”
• “I gave you more money than the Civil War cost and you spent it already?!”
• “She’s not gonna do anything else for you. It’s done.”
• “I thought our transaction was over”
• “Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?
• “College was like a four year game show”
• “Well if it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep shirt”
• “These meaningless politeness rules”
• “I like to throw in I’m kidding at the end of jokes now”
• “See you at improv practice”
• “Of all the sentences that I would be ashamed to hear read in court”
• “I am damp all the time”
• “I don’t think it’s anything serious”
• “I’m gross now”
• “Y’know, life?”
• “Monkey monkey monkey man”
• “I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room”
• “It’s tough to not get grumpy. It’s so tempting”
• “I’m trying to stay nice though”
• “Maybe they have a different definition of nice”
• “If we must go on with salt alone, we will go on with salt alone”
• “Famous people are weird as shit. They’re all weird. Your suspicions are correct”
• “That must change you as a person”
• “Everything was slower in the old days. Because they didn’t have enough to do so they had to slow things down”
• “We gotta think of some weird, slow activities to fill the day”
• “Everything is too fast now and totally unreasonable”
• “Everything is run by robots, and we spend most of the day telling them that we’re not robots”
• “Prove to me you’re not a robot. Look at these curvy letters!”
• “How’d you like to be indoors and out of doors all at once?”
• “May I introduce you to THE GAZEBO”
• “It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time”
• “There’s a horse loose in the hospital”
• “What’d the horse do, what’d the horse do”
• “We’re well past that”
• “Okay okay okay okay okay okay”
• “I have fired the horse catcher”
• “How come you opened the door for the horse?”
• “I used to pay less attention”
• “I’m lazy by nature”
• “And you can quote me on that”
• “We bought a stroller for our dog”
• “Just one more follow up question”
• “What did they say in there, what did they do, what did they tell you”
• “That’s the same joke twice”
• “A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened”
• “It’s a word you’re meant to mishear”
• “The bread of bread is bread. The bread is good”
• “God can’t hear you”

• “I know what he/she/they/you felt with me. You can’t fake that.”
• “He might have faked it once or twice… but…”
• “Shit, how did I not know this!?”
• “You need to get out there and fuck someone new.”
• “Go into a gay bar, make your need known and have at it!”
• “She cares about you.”
• “You can be a real shithead. ”
• “I need alcohol.”
• “You’re gonna get some wine, get that stick and if you get bad news; get drunk.”
• “Well, they add character!”
• “I promise, okay?”
• “Maybe I should go back and finish what I started.”
• “You’re smart, you care about people…”
• “Maybe he’s right.”
• “We need to talk now. It’s important.”
• “Call me back.”
• “How complicated can it be?”
• “If you don’t want to tell, then fine.”
• “I have got to get away from here.”
• “There’s something wrong here, very wrong.”
• “See, I told you that you wouldn’t believe me!”
• “I need to do something!”
• “This is good news!”
• “Where the fuck have you been!?”
• “I need to make a call first.”
• “Let’s fucking go.”
• “How big of a problem?”
• “Has he/she/they called?”
• “You probably don’t remember…”
• “You don’t have to worry.”
• “I told you this would happen.”
• “You’re not fine.”
• “Did you do it again?”
• “Look me in the eye.”
• “That’s what worries me.”
• “Just another one of us getting fucked.”
• “Don’t worry about me.”
• “Didn’t go as well as planned.”

warning: triggers apply. mentions of suicide and rape present. read and reblog with caution.

❛  sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.  ❜ ❛  everything i said — it’s not real. i was just playing the game.  ❜ ❛  punch me in the face.  ❜ ❛  i always hear “punch me in the face” when you’re speaking, but it’s usually sub-text.  ❜ ❛  do you just carry on talking when i’m away?  ❜ ❛  brainy’s the new sexy.  ❜ ❛  [ name ], put your trousers on!  ❜ ❛  i would have you right here, on this desk, until you begged for mercy twice.  ❜ ❛  i’ve never begged for mercy in my life.  ❜ ❛  stop boring me & think. it’s the new sexy.  ❜ ❛  [ name ], if it was the end of the world, if this was the very last night, would you have dinner with me?  ❜ ❛  you wearing any pants?  ❜ ❛  i am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray.  ❜ ❛  people don’t really go to heaven when they die. they’re taken to a special room & burned.  ❜ ❛  look at them. they all care so much. do you ever wonder if there’s something wrong with us?  ❜ ❛  all lives end… all hearts are broken… caring is not an advantage… [ name ].  ❜ ❛  oh, you’re rather good.  ❜ ❛  you’re not so bad.  ❜ ❛  sex doesn’t alarm me.  ❜ ❛  [ name ] always replies, to everything. he’s mr. punchline. he will outlive god trying to have the last word.  ❜ ❛  i’m restoring balance to the universe.  ❜ ❛  i dislike being outnumbered. it makes for too much stupid in the room.  ❜ ❛  you got a photograph of me wearing that hat!  ❜ ❛  smoking indoors. isn’t there one of those… one of those law things?  ❜ ❛  we’re in a morgue. there’s only so much damage you can do.  ❜ ❛  i’ve missed something, haven’t i?  ❜ ❛  when i say run, run.  ❜ ❛  vatican cameos!  ❜ ❛  but, for the record, if anyone out there still cares, i’m not actually gay.  ❜ ❛  oh, look at those cheekbones. i could cut myself slapping that face.   ❜ ❛  well, we all do silly things.  ❜ ❛  yes, if i wanted poetry, i’d read [ name ]’s emails to his girlfriends. much funnier.  ❜ ❛  get out. i need to go to my mind palace.  ❜ ❛  well, that was tedious!  ❜ ❛  you’ve never been the most luminous of people, but as a conductor of light, you are unbeatable.  ❜ ❛  i don’t have friends. i’ve just got one.  ❜ ❛  did we just break into a military base to investigate a rabbit?  ❜ ❛  every fairy tale needs a good old-fashioned villain.  ❜ ❛  we’re just alike, you and i. except you’re boring. you’re on the side of the angels.  ❜ ❛  how hard do you find it, having to say “i don’t know?”  ❜ ❛  you’re insane.  ❜ ❛  take my hand.  ❜ ❛  how do you stalk a deer with a hat? what are you going to do, throw it?  ❜ ❛  is it like some sort of death frisbee?  ❜ ❛  oh, i may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for one second that i am one of them.  ❜ ❛  [ name ], please don’t feel the need to make conversation. it’s really not your area.  ❜ ❛  nobody can fake being such an annoying dick all the time.  ❜ ❛  this is my cab. you get the next one.  ❜ ❛  [ name ] isn’t a man at all. he’s a spider. a spider at the center of a web.  ❜ ❛  well, don’t let it get to you, i always feel like screaming when you walk into a room. in fact, so do most people.  ❜ ❛  most people knock. but then, you’re not most people, i suppose.  ❜ ❛  falling’s just like flying except there’s a more permanent destination.  ❜

• “Who was that?”
• “I don’t like the way he/she/they look/s at you.”
• “How could I make you jealous? I melt whenever you say my name.”
• “Hi! I’m ___’s girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/etc. Ever heard of me?”
• “So what if I’m jealous?”
• “You are spending WAY too much time with that guy/girl/person.”
• “How come you never do that with me?”
• “Hey. You’re mine.” / “Don’t worry. I’m yours.”
• “I’m going to kick his/her/their ass! No one can touch you like that except for me.”
• “I heard you and ___ had lunch.”
• “Are you jealous?~”
• “Can I just give you another hickey?” / “Did you really have to give me so many hickeys?”
• “I can’t have these people all over you.”
• “Oh, come on. Don’t worry about him/her/them, we’re just friends.”
• “Don’t you trust me?” / “You’re not the one I don’t trust…”
• “I know that you love me, but your jealousy is getting out of hand.”
• “You don’t own me…except when you make that face.”
• “I don’t remember our hello kiss being a hello makeout. Are you threatened by my friend?”
• “Who are you texting? I thought I just saw a heart emoji.”
• “Why is your ass so amazing? Everyone is staring at it and I hate it.”
• “Hey, pal. His/her/their eyes are up there.”
• “I don’t know what that was about, but I love seeing you all riled up.”
• “This is outrageous. I demand more attention.”
• “Oh you and ___ went there? That’s where we went on our first date.”
• “You’re with ME now.”
• “What is/are he/she/they doing here?”