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Please don't ask me for relationship advice unless you are prepared to receive some truly upsetting information because some people are ready for the "He's exhibiting the literal textbook signs of a psychological abuser and you need to get away from him before he successfully cuts you off from your support network" talk and some people aren't
FOR WHOEVER NEEDS A REMINDER:
- There is never any justification for someone putting their hands on you in any way without your consent short of immediate risk of harm or death.
- If someone tells you that "the way I'm acting is your fault because you know that doing X thing would make me do it and you chose to do it anyway" is just fancy bullshit talk for, "I know my behaviour is wrong, but I don't want to be held responsible for it so I'm pushing it on you"
- Nothing good ever, ever comes from someone who tells you, "I don't want you talking about our relationship with anyone". This person cannot handle accepting responsibility and processing criticism so they need you to never, ever question them. That's easier if they control the narrative and your friends aren't there to cut in.
- Nothing constructive comes from screaming.
- "It's not like that all the time" is optimistic and sweet, but the truth is, it shouldn't be like that at all. Sweet words and gifts and gestures don't erase being frightened for yourself or for your loved ones. That is not normal. Don't minimize it.
- It is not healthy or normal to be genuinely afraid of saying "no" to someone, for any reason at all. Violence, outbursts, retaliation, anything. You should not have to be afraid of someone's reaction to your boundaries.
- You are not responsible for saving anyone. Even if you love them. Even if they have nobody else. At the end of the day, if they want to hurt themselves in any way, they will, and you can't stop them forever. People need to want to improve before they can actually improve, and if they're threatening to harm themselves to keep you around, they're using your love to hold themselves hostage. You do not decide their choices for them, and they don't get to shunt that off on you.
- There will always be other people who can love you better. You will not be alone forever. This will not be the last time you care for someone like this and it will not be the last time someone cares for you
This applies to ALL relationships btw
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i think of this ProZD video constantly its always so fucking funny
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who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child
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last "vent" comic... i want to keep moving forward, so let's all keep doing our best! 💗
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𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖚𝖌𝖆𝖗
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@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks
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love characters who are like "this is how the world works. this is how it has to be (because if i'm wrong i have to face what i've done // if i'm wrong i have to face whats been done to me) "
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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
I cannot express how strongly I believe this
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Daniel Sloss- “Jigsaw”
ROMANTIC LOVE IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN PLATONIC LOVE!!!
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honest to god can’t stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it’s such a good example of politically driven folk music.
Lyrics:
Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, “I can give you anything you ask” “You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It’s unlimited, just set me to the task.”
Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, “I want houses, “I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start.”
Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered ‘round To admire the man whose wishes had come true
They said, “Let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he’s been set so far apart.” “Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff who has everything! ‘Cause his wishes are only at the start.”
Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, “Everybody’s getting in my way.” The genie smiled as before, “You’ve got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away.”
Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet ‘Til he finally said, “I have just one wish more.” “I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore.”
Well, the genie’s eyes got big and sad and shiny ‘Til she finally said, “Your wish is my command.” And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again
So, let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff, who’s got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart
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cooing & stroking the neighbourhood cats but shaking my head the entire time so everyone knows i don’t ideologically agree with outdoor cats
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“let me get that for you” i say sexily pulling on a door that says push
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Ko-fi sketches