I thought I would be a little bit sad to be experiencing all of the “lasts” in my classroom after 7 years of teaching but I honestly just want this year to be fucking over. I watched a kid jump up and down on a pencil case until it shattered for absolutely no reason and then the next day demand a new one, confused why his crayons were in a plastic bag. I had to call for someone to remove a student who was throwing chairs across the room and screaming at the top of their lungs… because she failed a level on a math game. I had a child scream at me after I asked him politely to please not stand on a bookshelf that could fall over and severely injure him and others. I had to message a mom and ask her to please talk to her son who thinks it’s funny to stand on his chair and jump off of it when he thinks I’m not looking. I had to pray every day that the student who made another student have to get stitches because he threw a white board at her head point blank wouldn’t come in late after I marked him absent. Like. Y’all. I can’t do this another second.

I’m in my post-period strength phase right now and I just sent a brand new 11d at the gym when last week I could barely top rope an 11a so this is a reminder to self that the cycle struggle is real but I’m still a badass strong af bitch even when I don’t feel like it.

Last night after picking up plants in the morning from friends and going on a nice hike with Noodle, Laine & I went to my friends’ bands concert which is always great time (she plays in a big brass band and they are so good!). Today I went climbing all day with some good friends and some new friends, and I even led some routes! I felt actually good and strong today!! And I pet a really cute dog!! Everyone I climbed with who was new to me was so nice and encouraging! The weather was beautiful and sunny and warm both days and I spent so much time outside and it was actually just the perfect weekend.

Spent the morning getting plant starters from different friends and then spent the afternoon hiking in the sun and wildflowers.

It is spring. I am happy.

I officially resigned from my job today. I still have to finish out the year (May 30th is the last day) and I have absolutely no idea what I’ll be doing next year. I haven’t even gotten a single interview after applying to probably 30 interventionist positions. All I know is that I will never be a classroom teacher again, and I feel really good about that.

It was a real good real beautiful day.

I deseeded and cut a jalapeño today and I have washed my hands like six times since but I’m still terrified to go take my contacts out

I applied for an academic interventionist position at a school in my current district where I previously interviewed with the principal (she liked me and said I interviewed well, but I didn't have experience in upper grades that she wanted for me to be a social emotional learning specialist). I also know the instructional coach because we used to work together, and I name dropped her in my email to the principal. This school is notoriously rough and I would receive a $25,000 pay raise to work just specifically there. So. That would be sort of cool, but the implications are scary?

I also have been playing around with the idea of becoming a special education interventionist. I would need to go back to school and get another endorsement, but it would be paid for with grants and the Colorado Department of Education allows you to work while getting the endorsement because the jobs are so high need and so few people are endorsed. Word on the street is that our current interventionist is not returning because she wants to be a stay at home mom (she just came back from maternity leave on Monday). She plans to make a decision by tomorrow. If she did, and I told my principal I wanted her job, I would 100% be given it. The job would be very similar, I would just be teaching kids on IEPs in small groups instead of kids on READ plans.

So. Those are two interesting life pathways. I would rather be an academic interventionist because I am already qualified to do it and that's what I have my master's degree in. The pay raise would also be sick. But the school is scary, and I would have to move all my shit AGAIN, and meet new people, and etc. But because of the extreme salary increase, I may not even get an interview. The whole point of the pay is to incentivize people to work there, and it just might work. Option 2 is still good because I do like my principal and coworkers, I just do not want to be a Kindergarten classroom teacher anymore. But I would have to go back to school for 24 credits which would be a drain on my life and I already have a fucking master's degree and endorsement. Ugh.

After work climbing - over 300 feet worth.

Joy in life renewed for a bit.

*deep sigh of contentment*

Colorado temporarily redeemed.

Colorado I’m fu kin sick of u

Tortured Poets Department

I went to an album release party and really deeply listened to all of the songs with one of my good friends & also frantically texted @flowers-justbecause and then ALSO listened again several times today, so here are my thoughts on the first half of the album. More to come later. Under the cut because some of you are killjoys

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!!