OPERATOR:      Hi, you have reached the D.U.P. help line,               do you have a bio-terrorist incident to report? DELSIN:       (In an old man voice) Uh, a damn bio-terrorist is                on the loose, his painting skills are top notch...                umm I mean defiling your billboard !                                  art cred.

• “Wow. Open purse, remove balls, huh?”
• “Sploosh!”
• “Do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants.”
• “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of /I’m punching you./”
• “A /ruse/, you big dumb idiot!”
• “RAMPAGE!”
• “Are we rampaging? I thought we were rampaging.”
• “How is this suddenly my fault?”
• “Phrasing!”
• “Dude, you alive?”
• “Give me that gun.”
• “No, you’re agitated.”
• “If it helps, I puked most of it up.”
• “Well, don’t just sit there sweating like a gigantic cheese! Do something!”
• “Man up! Talk to your mother, and then you can go be a bartender and destroy a new marriage every week.”
• “Why are you wearing silk socks?”
• “Is that a real question?”
• “Oh, are they? Or are 5 in a black, and 5 in a slightly darker black?”
• “The tactical turtleneck. The…/tactleneck./”
• “Danger zone!”
• “I don’t know what that means, (name). I didn’t grow up on a cheese farm.”
• “Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t invent /English./”
• “How hot am I? Let me answer that: as balls.”
• “WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY MOTHER’S ROBE?”
• “So this one starts freaking out and, long story short…I kinda had to drown her in the tub.”
• “That’s just classic her.”
• “Oh my God! What shade is that, Crackwhore Red?”
• “So, the last thing you hear me say is ‘oh my god, they’re shooting at us!’ and you don’t even call me back?”
• “I swear to God, I had something for this.”
• “Just the tip?”
• “Idiots doing idiot things, because they’re idiots.”
• “I’m scared that if I stop all at once, the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.”
• “Hey, you wanna smell something?”
• “Can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?”
• “Well /fuck/ your dolphin, (name)!”
• “Sorry, I was picturing Whore Island.”
• “Can’t or won’t?”
• “No, I’ve seen the end of that movie. And, spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire!”
• “Who are you, Comrade Question?”
• “I /am/ drunk, or I wouldn’t be talking to you.”
• “Now let’s go bury this dead hooker.”
• “Are you kidding? Dude. Bros before apparent threats to national security.”
• “For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.”
• “Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?“