if you think embarrassing shy people on purpose is funny please do yourself a favor and shove a truck up your ass

cats have their priorities straight its 1. stay warm 2. be fat 3. yeah

ronald reagan died without knowing about bofa…

who is ronald regean

bofa deez nuts

“edward is not gay”

explain this then:

Fun with phone numbers

A glass that pushes cat off of counters

This is it. Peak humor

sleeping is nice until u wake up and realize ur still sad lol

I think the saddest thing about adult/working life is that you’re forced to spend your days around people you barely like or care about, but you have such little time left for the ones you really love. You see your shitty co-workers all day every day but your best friend and your family and your lover get the tired, deflated, de-energised scraps of you at the end of the day/week.

and this is why capitalism doesn’t work. you spend all your life working to pay for shit that you hardly ever get to use and to me that is BULLSHIIIIT

fuck yo’ system

Have you ever looked at yourself and been like nope

ive been watching the holiday season of nailed it all day and in episode 6 the bakers were fucking up so badly that the camera man was repeatedly driven to literal tears while shakily filming their creations

It’s okay to be white.

It’s okay to be black.

It’s okay to be asian.

It’s okay to be hispanic.

It’s okay to be female.

It’s okay to be male.

It’s okay to be trans.

It’s okay to be nonbinary.

It’s okay to be straight.

It’s okay to be gay.

It’s okay to be bi.

It’s okay to be YOU.

But it is NEVER okay to be Count Olaf in disguise.

Ha, didn’t see that one coming

Do y'all remember being a kid and trying to read in the car while it was dark outside and your parents wouldn’t let you turn on the light so you would try to grab snatches of sentences when you passed by street lights

a woman in a film: *takes another woman’s hand and squeezes it gently in a gesture of support*

my content-starved wlw ass:

a woman in a film: *brushes another woman’s hair tenderly away from her face*

me:

Uncle, do you realize what this means?