The King's Wine Shop

vimes really hit them with the old

oh hp deskjet 2710e we're really in it now

tangerine snail 🍊

nothing to be ashamed of

Victor Nizovtsev

This is the English word I want to get tattooed on my wrist. It means “to keep breathing even though the water rises all around you.” English is such a mystical exotic language. They can fit so much meaning into so small a word.

[ID: text written in all caps that reads, “scuba”. /End ID.]

did cinderella ever talk to her man about his faceblindness

#'i met the perfect woman but it was a special occasion'#'so now wherever she is her makeup and hair are probably different'#'this is my nightmare'

rip prince charming, who had to let the whole kingdom make jokes about his foot fetish for the rest of his life because every blonde with an updo looks basically the same as far as he can tell

they call him prince charming because he’s always really polite to strangers to cover for the fact that he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize them from somewhere and when you’re a prince that shit starts wars

best part of this post is all the people with prosopagnosia confirming that they literally never questioned why the prince was incapable of hiring a sketch artist even in versions without masks/glamours

(ps here’s this)

PLEASE click the link

Please, please, for the love of god, Click. The. Link.

A had a partner with face blindness for several years.  One time it was chilly so I threw on an old sweater I hardly ever wore, but i kept because it was literally the only sweater we could find at the street market in my size one extremely chilly morning in August 1983 in Auvergne and it had good memories despite it’s colour.

I’m a goth.  I was a goth then.  To my lover, I was a person of a particular size and build dressed in black with the occasional jewel tone and dark hair at a particular length.

The sweater was very much not Goth.  It was a pale shade and oversized and nobbly.

We went to Cub Foods, which was a massive warehouse style grocery store.  we separated to do our assorted shopping.

He couldn’t find me.  He searched with an increasing urgency and rising panic.  I oblivious contemplated box macaroni and jiffy mixes as he passed my aisle over and over.

My shopping done I spotted and hailed him, and he looked at me with some confusion, but he knew my voice, my hair, the particular cut of my trousers, picked because they looked good and I could run and fight in them, the shape of my boots.  Once he looked closely, he knew it was me, but at a distance all he was seeing was the Wrong Sweater.

We were neither of us publicly demonstrative by nature, but he hugged me so tight in his relief.  Once I understood, I felt terrible, and when I wore something uncharacteristic, I made sure he memorized it because I could never forget his terror and relief.

This is how I discovered he was face blind.  I was the first person to notice, he’d hidden it so well.

Of course Prince Charming was face blind,

Swamp QUEEN.

It’s him….

It’s Shrimp who fries the rice…

You called?

Omg hi im such a huge fan

just found fanfic written on clay tablets in cuneiform and then the pictures were uploaded to ao3 the good omens fandom is insane

this is the fic if you were wondering

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. DEDICATION TO THE BIT

Scream

"I completely changed the recipe and it turned bad. This means the recipe is bad. Two stars."

Please I'm begging you all to follow r/ididnthavetheeggs it's all just posts like this please

r/ididn'thaveeggs link for the interested:

Adding some more quality replies from the rbs so they're all in one chain

my personal favorite:

making egg tarts without eggs is....a choice. sometimes one just has to acknowledge that a banana isn't an egg, indeed.

sometimes one just has to acknowledge that a banana isn't an egg

I feel that's applicable in more than one situation but oh my god these people

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"

and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

Listen, every academic has a nemesis. And sometimes you marry that nemesis. Shit happens, okay?

“You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become” - Hogfather, Terry Pratchett

it’s seasonal lads

IT’S SEASONAL AGAIN LADS

‘Tis the season so I’ll reblog my absolute favorite Terry Pratchett quote ever

Happy holidays folks

welp

#The wisdom#The kind that sits on your chest heavily#And you don’t so much get over it as you learn to keep existing with its weight