i made these a month or so back in some kind of haze about my health/financial situation and just like. never was able to get the wherewithal between frequent flare-ups after the fact to put anything together about it, but here I go now I guess lmao
The decision on my disability won't be made until about August 2024, that is assuming i'm even lucky enough to be accepted on a first try while i don't have a diagnosis and am so young.
I genuinely can't work anymore. I tried working 10 hrs a week, using my wheelchair to avoid falling (and hurting myself lmao) from standing too long. I wasn't kept because I called out for literally half the shifts I was scheduled because just that small amount of labor was making me flare up so badly I could barely leave my bed.
This has been happening since I was 16, getting noticable at 17, and began only being taken seriously by doctors at 19 when I began falling and using a cane to prevent falling. I'm 22 now, and had to move in with family after a Lot of stuff caused my stress to skyrocket and catalyzed whatever is wrong with me terribly. I'm perfectly healthy on paper, which makes the whole "watching my entire youth be drained away while my body feels like it's dying around me and i am losing more and more feeling and in more and more pain" thing all the more frustrating.
For nearly a year now i've been dependent on my sibling so i can eat, go to long distance doctors visits, care for my cats, and for having a place to live. The only thing I've been able to take care of myself is my medicaton and doctor bills. It's kind of the only scrap of independence i have left, and they're already doing so much for me when this could very well end up being well. forever. whether anyone likes it or not.
I've been doing it through commissions, and through the stray incredibly kind ko-fi donation. Each time I pay for something I go back to zero. Because of my disability, it takes me a lot longer to finish commissions than it used to due to needing to wait to be able to feel my hand enough to make something i feel is worth someones money. I appreciate everything anyone has done, monetary or not. Even just liking the few things I am able to make lately means a lot.
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the fact that I am struggling to afford medications, I can't pursue a wheelchair prescription that I do need at this point because I wouldn't be able to afford the hundreds of dollars in co-pay, and there's rarely ever anything left I can sacrifice to buy something small or do something fun for my mental health that is suffering a ton from the unavoidable isolation of. not being able to leave a house or have a car or a job or even go see my friends because i hurt so badly. My computer's hard drive is failing (though much lower on priorities since I'd made that gif) and my drawing tablet is wearing down, neither of which I can hope to afford right now, really. I had to spend a large chunk recently on both my near yearly testosterone prescription ($100 for 10mL) and getting a tall step ladder so I stop hurting myself so bad while getting off my loft bed. (~$80)
All that to say. Shit's fucked, and not just for me by far. Like I said, I have open commissions (thinking about implementing slots soon..) and a Ko-Fi, plus a Redbubble I get some cents from. If you happen to like what I make and have the means to get a piece of art or even just send a little bit towards me it would mean the world. I'm not the most important cause out there, please by all means help out someone else who needs it more if you get the chance. Anything that anyone does for me, even if it's just sharing my little guys around, is more than enough. thank you love u <3long
