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little-frying-pan

@little-frying-pan

Just a little frying pan living in a world of douchebags
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the resurgence of female separatism will be the fucking death us

SEPARATISM WILL NOT SAVE YOU !! ASSIMILATION WILL NOT SAVE YOU !! LIBERATION IS RIGHT HERE I AM BEGGING YOU GUYS

i do think any movement that says the only way to be liberated is to separate entirely from anyone who isnt like you will not only lead you to overlook bigotry and harm in your own communities but will also never create a space where those people can just exist. there will always be women in society with other people. there will always be gay and trans people in society with other people. there will always poc in society with everyone else. there will always be disabled people in society with everyone else. if one group separates they give people two choices: leave and stop fighting for a better life, or suffer where you already are. and that will not save us

i am literally always thinking about this collection of essays, there’s a free pdf here, because. no one else has summed it up so well.

separatists will always leave behind other marginalized folk. this will not save us

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caseywond3r

hey guys so apparently this is a thing a lot of people don't realise but like. if you have had writer's block/ art block for like. six months. a year. two years. that's maybe not a block. that's maybe depression. and you should maybe look into treating the source of the problem instead of just beating yourself up for not being able to write/draw. be kind to yourself and know that your struggle to create isn't based in laziness or a lack of skill or talent.

You also do have like, a finite amount of energy. Especially creative and emotional energy.

The celebrate-the-grind stories where some famous artist held down two grueling part-time jobs to make ends meet and got by on four hours of sleep a night so they'd have time to write their novel or paint or whatever, so what's your excuse are absolute bullshit. We should look at those about the same as we look at long-haul truckers doing a lot of amphetamines to handle driving for 16 hours a day or AAA game studios and crunch time.

So yeah, if your ability to make art has dried up, you really should take a good look at the underlying reasons and see if there's maybe some self-care you need to be doing. The answer is pretty much never "laziness."

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Sensory Overload and how to cope.

(click on images to zoom)

So important.

I also find I can get SO from thinking too much, like brain-over-stimulation. Though that is kinda like audio input for me because of the way I think. After all, my go-to overload thought is “quiet please, make it stop”.

thank you for posting this, i needed it

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actuallyadhd

[Image Descriptions:

All slides have a light blue background, and the text is written in blue rectangles with rounded corners.

Slide 1: The title is in white text inside a dark blue circle that is centred in the slide.

Sensory Overload And how to cope

Slide 2: The header is in a dark blue rectangle and white text, and the body is in a pale blue rectangle and black text.

Sensory overload has been found to be associated with disorders such as:

  • Fibromyalgia (FM)
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Autistic spectrum disorders
  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
  • Synesthesia

Slide 3: The text is in three pale blue rectangles that go horizontally across the slide. All use black text. The last rectangle has four smaller dark blue rectangles with white text inside it for the four points. The text is centred in all of the rectangles.

Sensory overload occurs when one (or more) of the body’s senses experiences over-stimulation from the environment.

Basically it feels like everything is happening at once, and is happening too fast for you to keep up with.

Sensory overload can result from the overstimulation of any of the senses.

Hearing: Loud noise or sound from multiple sources, such as several people talking at once.

Sight: Bright lights, strobe lights, or environments with lots of movement such as crowds or frequent scene changes on TV.

Smell and Taste: Strong aromas or spicy foods.

Touch: Tactile sensations such as being touched by another person or the feel of cloth on skin.

Slide 4: A heading in two light blue rectangles with black text, followed by a table with a dark blue first row that has white text, and then alternating pale blue and white rows with black text. (The table is not really a table, it is just a four-column list.)

Obviously, everyone reacts in differently to sensory overload.

Some behavioural examples are:

Irritability — “Shutting down” — Covers eyes around bright lights — Difficulty concentrating Angry outbursts — Refuses to interact and participate — Covers ears to close out sounds or voices — Jumping from task to task without completing Overexcitement — Low energy levels — Difficulty speaking — Compains about noises not effecting others High energy levels — Sleepiness/fatigue — poor eye contact — Overly sensitive to sounds/lights/touch Fidgeting and restlessness — Avoids touching/being touched — Muscle tension — Difficulty with social interactions

Slide 5: The header is in a dark blue box with pointy corners and white text. The body is in a pale blue box with pointy corners and black text.

There are two different methods to prevent sensory overload: avoidance and setting limits:

  • Create a more quiet and orderly environment - keeping the noise to a minimum and reducing the sense of clutter.
  • Rest before big events.
  • Focus your attention and energy on one thing at a time.
  • Restrict time spent on various activities.
  • Select settings to avoid crowds and noise.
  • One may also limit interactions with specific people to help prevent sensory overload.

Slide 6: This looks the same as the last slide except the text in the header is black.

It is important in situations of sensory overload to calm oneself and return to a normal level.

  • Remove yourself from the situation.
  • Deep pressure against the skin combined with proprioceptive input that stimulates the receptors in the joints and ligaments often calms the nervous system.
  • Reducing sensory input such as eliminating distressing sounds and lowering the lights can help.
  • Calming, focusing music works for some.
  • Take an extended rest if a quick break doesn’t relieve the problem.

Slide 7: Four light blue rectangles with rounded corners, stacked one above the other, with black text.

What if someone you know is experiencing sensory overload?

Recognize the onset of overload. If they appear to have lost abilities that they usually have, such as forgetting how to speak, this is often a sign of severe overload.

Reduce the noise level. If they are in a noisy area, offer to guide them somewhere more quiet. Give time to process questions and respond, because overload tends to slow processing. If you can control the noise level, for example by turning off music, do so.

Do not touch or crowd them. Many people in SO are hypersensitive to touch - being touched or thinking they are about to be touched can worsen the overload. If they are seated or are a small child, get down to their level instead of looming above them.

Slide 8: Similar to previous slide, only with three rectangles instead of four.

Don’t talk more than necessary. Ask if you need to in order to help, but don’t try to say something reassuring or get them talking about something else. Speech is sensory input, and can worsen overload.

If they have a jacket, they may want to put it on and put the hood up. This helps to reduce stimulation, and many people find the weight of a jacket comforting. If their jacket is not within reach, ask them if they want you to bring it. A heavy blanket can also help in a similar way.

Don’t react to aggression. Don’t take it personally. It is rare for someone who is overloaded to cause serious harm, because they don’t want to hurt you, just get out of the situation. Aggression often occurs because you tried to touched/restrained/blocked their escape.

Slide 9: Similar to previous slide, only with two rectangles instead of three.

When they have calmed down, be aware that they will often be tired and more susceptible to overload for quite awhile afterwards. It can take hours or days to fully recover from an episode of sensory overload. If you can, try to reduce stress occurring later on as well.

If they start self-injuring, you should usually not try to stop them. Restraint is likely to make their overload worse. Only intervene if they are doing something that could cause serious injury, such as hard biting or banging their head. It’s a lot better to deal with self-injury indirectly by lowering overload.

Slide 10: The header is in a dark blue rectangle with white text, and the other text is in a row of five dark blue circles with white text. The text is centred in all shapes.

To summarise - Remember the 5 R’s

Recognise The symptoms of overload

Remove Yourself from the situation

Reduce the stimulus causing the overload

Relax Your body and calm yourself down

Rest Yourself as you will most likely feel fatigue.]

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Giving nurses tiktok was a mistake

"our days are so tough" okay tell me how come ur posts aren't like "my labour is super exploited" how come all of em are like "this guy has a weird penis lol"? We have channels to talk about what our work is like and how were treated. Making memes like "when ur pt rings the bell too much" or "remember I get to choose the needle gauge" doesn't actually address any of it it's just an abuse of ur inherent power over patients.

Every single nurse called out for being a cunt online flies immediately towards guilt tripping ppl into feeling bad for em but it's a fundamental misunderstanding of how health care power structures work to act like mistreatment from patients is because we are below them in that heirarchy. We are in a position of power over them by virtue of our knowledge and involvement in their care. The fact that clients can be as shitty as they want to u is because ur employers don't protect u. It's cuz ur work is devalued and incompatible with capitalism. It's cuz you're guilt tripped out of demanding any sort of basic workers rights. None of that is the fault of patients and none of it can be solved by sharing personal embarassing health details abt them on tiktok.

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Cryptozoology is my favourite kind of fake science stuff. Wish there was also cryptobotany, like mothman but its just a really big fern in the middle of a field with literally nothing else around it , that spawned in the dead of night, might have killed a few people and never shows up in photos, and no one is sure its even real

Cryptogeology is also like "Yeah, that mountain likes to move around. Nobody's seen it do it. But I've been tracking it since Saskatoon."

"There are no mountains in Saskatoon."

"Not anymore, there aren't."

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demilypyro

things to note about transphobes on this site:

  1. there really aren’t that many of them. if you block a couple whenever you see em, you’ll soon run into an account you’ve already blocked before, and realize they’re all just reblogging eachother endlessly. it’s very insular because no one else wants to interact with them lol
  2. they’re basically all british or american christians lmfao why the fuck would you care what they think
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batmanego

anyway all that to say that if you’re a dropout if you have shit grades if you go to an alt school and are looked down on for it if you’re in your 5th or 6th or whatever year of high school if you’re still getting your GED if you’re taking night classes if you missed out on “universal” high school experiences if you were abused by your peers (because make no mistake, that’s what bullying is) if you were expelled if you were truant every single year if you were homeschooled and got sick of the jokes if you never attended a full week if the whole world treats you like the scum of the earth all because of your high school experience or lackthereof you’re not alone. there’s so many of us that have been beaten down and broken by the school systems we’re subject to and the hostility they breed and the abusive environments they foster. some day we won’t have to be treated like objects of pity or contempt to be swept aside but until then we have each other

all of this goes doubly for special ed students + people with ieps + people with 504 plans + every disabled or delayed student btw i love you all

btw if anyone gets on this post and adds "and gifted kids who burnt out!!!" im gonna kill you. speaking as someone who was a ""gifted kid"" in elementary + early middle school and burnt out by 7th grade, Literally every conversation about academic difficulties gets dominated by the "burnt out gifted kid" narrative and nine times out of ten its gifted kids that burned out in the last year/two years of highschool/the first year of college and rarely people like me who had a "strong start" and then failed before even getting to highschool and theres NEVER any space for people who never had a strong start, people who didn't even have a decent start. people who have been "problems" since the second they set foot in an academic institution. this post is for everyone that struggled with the school system but its especially for people who failed early and especially for people who never had a chance.

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Maybe it's just me getting old (I was born with glass bones and paper skin etc. etc. etc.) or maybe it's a shift in the culture that I'm not old enough to appreciate - I wasn't around for Usenet fandom groups, after all - but more and more I find myself stepping back from the type of emotional engagement that fandom prioritizes, i.e. emotional engagement that says not, "this story is about things that I connect with," but "this story is FOR ME, with all the obligations and ownership that entails." I was actually thinking about this as well when a tweet about Taylor Swift, of all things, came across my twitter home page - apparently she said something about people sexualizing her relationships with her female friends, and the tinhatters are wailing and rending their garments, and someone pointed out that the "I am gay and identify with her music, so she must also be gay, and if she's not then the music is a LIE" mindset really speaks to the idea that if something is not made for you personally, you cannot find meaning in it - that stories must be for you, specifically and intentionally, or they have no value. It's a distressing trend! Because the thing is, if we view stories as mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors, then that means we read them knowing that they are not About Us, and we can still feel strong emotions about them. The idea of media diversity seems to have warped beyond recognition, so that instead of "everyone should see themselves," the demand has become "existing stories must change in accordance with my own feelings, so that I can continue to identify with it." 

(Can I blame franchise filmmaking for this? I feel like I can.)

Now this isn't particularly new - "my slash ship needs to become canon for representation, it doesn't COUNT if it's not my ship" has certainly been around for as long as I have - but I do feel like the breaking down of barriers between fans and creators has encouraged this sense of entitlement, so that if you feel betrayed by a story that didn't play out the way you wanted it to, you can go and scream at the creator on twitter. And the thing I think a lot of people are losing sight of is that the person writing the story has no control over how you receive it; our brains are weird, and they will latch onto things that were never intended to be major components of the overall narrative. I get this! I have blorbo'd many a minor character in my time! But the problem with "this story must be For Me" thinking is that, if you get attached to a minor character, you convince yourself that the story must be their story, because you identify with them and by transitive property they must be the main character, and if this is not how things play out, you have been personally betrayed

This does not lead to a lot of happy outcomes.

I don't know, you guys. Since the OFMD finale aired, I have seen some WILD takes, including that one of the main characters should have died in place of the supporting character who did die (that was never going to happen! Of course it was never going to happen! This is what I mean when I say people lose sight of how stories work, when they convince themselves that their faves must be the most important in defiance of everything about how the story is structured!) and that the creator is sending negative messages to depressed/suicidal people, which is just . . . you cannot hold a writer responsible for your mental health like that. I'm sorry, but you can't. David Jenkins seems like a nice guy, but it is not his job to be the therapist of god knows how many viewers because he created a TV show. And it just feels to me like an extension of toxic self-care rhetoric: this makes me feel good, so it must continue, and if something makes me feel bad, then IT is bad." And maybe I am just old man yelling at cloud, but I find it dispiriting that emotional reactions have replaced actual engagement with narrative storytelling - that we've grown so self-centered, we cannot see outside our own lens to what a storyteller is actually trying to tell us. And of course death of the author is a thing, but at some point, attempts to usurp the author will never be successful because . . . you still are not the one telling the story. Maybe just stick with fanfiction if you feel that strongly about it, idk.

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films with gay black main characters

Blackbird - (2014, dir. Patrick-Ian Polk) Drama adpatation of the novel by Larry Duplechan. It follows Randy, a devoutely Baptist gay teenager struggling with his sexuality and religion.

Moonlight - (2016, dir. Barry Jenkins) coming of age drama film telling the life of Chiron, a young black man growing up in Miami, told in three stages; his youth, adolescence, and early adult life. It explores his sexuality, identity, and the ramifications of the abuse he endured growing up. Janelle Monae made her film debut in this and it also became both the first film with an all black cast & the first lgbt film to win the oscar for best picture.

Naz & Maalik - (2015, dir. Jay Dockendorf) drama film following two closeted muslim teenage boys in Brooklyn during one summer afternoon as their secretive (read: closeted gay) behavior sets a FBI agent on their trail. After both boys give her two different excuses for their behavior, they worry about being outed to their families.

Noah’s Arc: Jumping the broom - (2008, dir. Patrick-Ian Polk) Comedy based off the tv series “Noah’s Arc” follows Noah and Wade as they invite their friends along for an insane weekend before they marry at Martha’s Vineyard.

Pariah - (2011, dir. Dee Rees) art drama film telling the story of Alike, a 17 year old black girl as she slowly but surely comes to terms with being a butch lesbian while her parents relationship is falling apart. As her mother begins to grow suspicious about her daughter’s sexuality, she forces Alike into feminine clothing and pushes her to make friends with a respectable young girl from her church.

Rafiki - (2018, dir. Wanuri Kahiu) Kenyan romantic drama film centering on two Kenyan lesbian teenagers, Ziki and Kena. It explores their blossoming love and friendship as they face poltical and familial pressure to follow a path of life they arent really suited for. The film has mostly been premiering in festivals and isnt available for streaming in the US/UK yet but once its out this is a very important, groundbreaking film that we all need to be supporting!

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Set it Off - (1996, dir. F. Gary Gray) Crime action film about four close friends who decide to rob a bank for different reasons, but all with the goal to better life for themselves and the ones they love. The character Queen Latifah plays is a butch lesbian! 

The Happy Sad - (2013, dir. Rodney Evans) Drama film following the lives of two very different couples in New York City. The first, two gay black men who’ve been together for awhile and decided to try to turn their relationship into an open one. The second, a het white couple who decide to take a break and end up experimenting with same-sex sexual encounters. 

The Skinny - (2012, dir. Patrick-Ian Polk) Rom-com telling the story of five Brown University classmates as they reunite in NYC for gay pride weekend. Four are gay men, and one is a lesbian woman. Magnus is a medical student in a happy relationship with his boyfriend, Langston is a Yale PhD student, Sebastian just came back from a year in Paris, Kyle is uh…slutty, and Joey’s witty as hell. 

The Wound - (2017, dir. John Trengove) Alternatively titled Inxeba, The Wound is a South African drama film following the secret relationship between two men during the Xhosa ritual of Ulwaluko, an initiation into manhood. 

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gothcrafts

personally i would read the psychological thriller based on the horrific events that transpire at the fanfic retreat

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lydiardbell

Well, the LAST time a bunch of writers did that, it was 1816 and we got both Frankenstein and Modern Vampires and Wi-Fi out of it, so it will likely be an utterly miserable experience for those involved but the spite-based literature and genetrational trauma based technology we get out of it will be INCREDIBLE.

I'm gonna be real i don't think the last writers retreat was 200 years ago

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still thinking about the brainrot that fast fashion has caused in people, like i made this pair of pants that are black and white with a cool flowery design, and an acquaintance saw them and said "wow i'd pay like 20 dollars for you to make me a pair" and i could barely think with how utterly horrified i was at that; i told them that 20 dollars wouldn't even cover the materials, let alone the hours of work that went into cutting, sewing, ironing, hemming, altering, etc. they just had this look on their face when i told them that, when i said i wouldn't make them a pair for even 100 dollars because that was still way too low of an amount, a look that said "you're crazy for thinking that those cost 100 dollars" and maybe i am crazy but holy shit, 20 dollars for a pair of handmade, durable, lined pants fitted specifically to your measurements? 20 dollars for upwards of 60 hours of work? 20 dollars for several yards of high-quality fabric, thread, and buttons? 20 dollars???

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One fun fact about me is that there is a pit in the forest. It is a part of me. I do not know where my reflection ends and I begin and I am so entwined with its murky waters I have begun to wonder if I am human at all, or if I am some creation of mud and wood given life against its will. When I die look for me in the pit. I will be in there, watching you.

Visited the pit again today. The waters gone. There’s a dead bird at the bottom of it. I don’t know what this means.

I keep accidentally ending up at the pit. Like I’ll tell myself I’m not going to go to the pit and then I go to the pit. Or I get lost on the trail and end up at the pit. I’m having fucking dreams about the pit. What is with me and this pit.

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