Cognitive dissonance with legs

some dirty folklore russian rhymes translated to english

people talk about women being ‘emotional’ and ‘overreacting,’ but you don’t see a woman making an arch-nemesis out of an albino whale and obsessively chasing it down like a lunatic for 585 pages

since i made this post, i’d multiple women telling me they would absolutely hunt down a whale for an extended period out of a bloodthirsty desire for vengeance, and i want to apologize for engaging in gender stereotypes

Ahem.

“Thanks to Microsoft Word’s ‘find and replace’ feature, no stone was left unturned.” Why is this so fucking funny sdfgjkk

rEBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSW I SOMEHOW MISSED THAT THE COVER SAYS MOBY VULVA AND IM CRYIN AHSHHDHDHDH

‘Captain Ahabigail’

OOF! OOF! how does FIFTEEN POINTS of DAMAGE TASTE?!

I’ve been searching for this for 20 minutes.

corn flaek

it’s because reality is terrifying and our world’s dying, and our developmental years were spent in a constant state of using increasingly nonsensical humor to cope

It’s called the rise of neo-dadaism and the same thing happened during WWII

well that’s not concerning At All

time out hold up sweetheart let’s get it together before you wanna spread  art historical misinformation

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses​ has a spot on summary of the dada ideology; these artists reacted to the horrors and atrocities of WWI by embracing nonsense in a world that no longer seemed to make sense

but the period we’re in right now is decidedly not neo-dada! you know why? because neo-dada already happened, and not during WWII but during the 60s and 70s, through artists like robert rauschenberg, yves klein, yoko ono, and nam june paik.

what was going on in the 60s and 70s that might involve “terrifying” reality and “increasingly nonsensical” coping methods? the cold war! now the cold war is in much more recent memory,

but if you wanna talk about nonsensical coping methods among millennials? i would say “lol xD so random” culture is probably the best starting point, which is definitely post-cold war (knowyourmeme is giving me 2004 as a good benchmark date).

2004 is only three years after 2001 so this resurgence of dada thinking could easily be seen as initially a reaction to 9/11, and we can then trace the antics of the bush administration, the shift of the overton window, the rise of internet culture, the 2016 election, and the current political moment as developmental factors behind this current dada moment.

so since neo-dada already happened and this is definitely its own thing with its own factors, and since a big part of our dada is the influence of the internet on modernity, i posit that we start calling this e-dada or #dada

tl;dr: neo-dada is already taken, it happened in the 60s/70s, we’re doing our own kind of dada now

e-dada

Researchers have used Easter Island Moai replicas to show how they might have been “walked” to where they are displayed.

VIDEO

Finally. People need to realize aliens aren’t the answer for everything (when they use it to erase poc civilizations and how smart they were)

(via TumbleOn)

What’s really wild is that the native people literally told the Europeans “they walked” when asked how the statues were moved. The Europeans were like “lol these backwards heathens and their fairy tales guess it’s gonna always be a mystery!”

Maori told Europeans that kiore were native rats and no one believed them until DNA tests proved it

And the Iroquois told Europeans that squirels showed them how to tap maple syrup and no one believed them until they caught it on video

Oral history from various First Nations tribes in the Pacific Northwest contained stories about a massive earthquake/tsunami hitting the coast, but no one listened to them until scientists discovered physical evidence of quakes from the Cascadia fault line.

Roopkund Lake AKA “Skeleton Lake” in the Himalayas in India is eerie because it was discovered with hundreds of skeletal remains and for the life of them researchers couldn’t figure out what it was that killed them. For decades the “mystery” went unsolved.

Until they finally payed closer attention to local songs and legend that all essentially said “Yah the Goddess Nanda Devi got mad and sent huge heave stones down to kill them”. That was consistent with huge contusions found all on their neck and shoulders and the weather patterns of the area, which are prone to huge & inevitably deadly goddamn hailstones. https://www.facebook.com/atlasobscura/videos/10154065247212728/

Literally these legends were past down for over a thousand years and it still took researched 50 to “figure out” the “mystery”. 🙄

Adding to this, the Inuit communities in Nunavut KNEW where both the wrecks of the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror were literally the entire time but Europeans/white people didn’t even bother consulting them about either ship until like…last year. 

“Inuit traditional knowledge was critical to the discovery of both ships, she pointed out, offering the Canadian government a powerful demonstration of what can be achieved when Inuit voices are included in the process.

In contrast, the tragic fate of the 129 men on the Franklin expedition hints at the high cost of marginalising those who best know the area and its history.

“If Inuit had been consulted 200 years ago and asked for their traditional knowledge – this is our backyard – those two wrecks would have been found, lives would have been saved. I’m confident of that,” she said. “But they believed their civilization was superior and that was their undoing.”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/16/inuit-canada-britain-shipwreck-hms-terror-nunavut

“Oh yeah, I heard a lot of stories about Terror, the ships, but I guess Parks Canada don’t listen to people,” Kogvik said. “They just ignore Inuit stories about the Terror ship.”

Schimnowski said the crew had also heard stories about people on the land seeing the silhouette of a masted ship at sunset.

“The community knew about this for many, many years. It’s hard for people to stop and actually listen … especially people from the South.”

 http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/sammy-kogvik-hms-terror-franklin-1.3763653

Indigenous Australians have had stories about giant kangaroos and wombats for thousands of years, and European settlers just kinda assumed they were myths. Cut to more recently when evidence of megafauna was discovered, giant versions of Australian animals that died out 41 000 years ago.

Similarly, scientists have been stumped about how native Palm trees got to a valley in the middle of Australia, and it wasn’t until a few years ago that someone did DNA testing and concluded that seeds had been carried there from the north around 30 000 years ago… aaand someone pointed out that Indigenous people have had stories about gods from the north carrying the seeds to a valley in the central desert.

oh man let me tell you about Indigenous Australian myths - the framework they use (with multi-generational checking that’s unique on the planet, meaning there’s no drifting or mutation of the story, seriously they are hardcore about maintaining integrity) means that we literally have multiple first-hand accounts of life and the ecosystem before the end of the last ice age

it’s literally the oldest accurate oral history of the world.  

Now consider this: most people consider the start of recorded history to be with  the Sumerians and the Early Dynastic period of the Egyptians.  So around 3500 BCE, or five and a half thousand years ago These highly accurate Aboriginal oral histories originate from twenty thousand years ago at least

vinnysgotswagg:

Jesus Christ if my wish comes true I will piss

im fucking crying of joy at the /thought/ of my wish coming true…

it came true last time…so why not

<3

hoping and praying…

Why not.

lets see.

my wish came true……………..this is creepy

does anyone ever do the opposite of dissociate?? where youre just suddenly and uncomfortably aware of your situation and reality 

more to the point why do i get that feeling when im sitting on top of my kitchen table watching a velveeta mac and cheese pack spin in the microwave for three and a half minutes and im just like I Exist I Am Here And Theres Nothing I Can Do About It 

okay this one wins, everyone can stop reblogging this now 

sartrian nausea ;)

pedagogical procrastination explained

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.

the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:

稽首天中天，

毫光照大千，

八風吹不動，

端坐紫金蓮

(Humbly bowed my head below all skies Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds Immovable by strong winds from eight sides Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)

on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.

(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)

this is even funnier because just writing “fart” out of the blue sounds really stupid and random in english, but in chinese, fart (fang pi) is used as a common reply to, well, people talking out of their ass. kind of like how we’d use “bullshit” in context.

Well, this is a question of how one defines fandom.

Keep reading

Well, fandom is definitely a very different entity from a single fan.

As it is, the fan of a high rank is no ordinary member of a fandom. In truth, they need no social group to live their passion. You have rightly remarked, that the persona of a public figure that inspires us is not fully the person behind it. However, there are attributes a person might exist without, while the persona can not, for it would crumble down towards the person. THE HAT is one of those attributes. One can say, that the hat can only be loved by a sane person for its ascribed qualities. Yet this is a superficial profane explanation that ignores the mystical light of the hat, the one that shines clearly for anyone ready to grasp it.

I mean, what else am I supposed to do at work.

Ehrliche Wahlplakate für die Bundestagswahl 2017.

Honest slogans for the German election. CDU: Picture of Merkel, “Something with Germany. You idiots vote for me anyway.” SPD: “Trivial stuff that we could have done in the last four years but we hoped you forgot. Look a photo of Martin Schulz.” Green Party: “Something that sounds smart but makes less sense the more you think about it.”

FDP: “I’m so in love with myself that the entire campaign is just pictures of me.” Die Linke: “Sorry we don’t have any money left for our campaign.” AfD: “Neo-Nazis? In MY party? It’s more likely than you think.”

wo sind wir? 

Eure Plakate muss man doch nicht bearbeiten, damit die ehrlich sind :D

doch. wir wollen auch in den ganzen listen sein. jede werbung ist gute werbung!

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

Remeber- no matter how your art turns out Bob Ross is proud of you

Look at this totally canon panel.

Attachment disorder: Persistent failure to attach an attachment to an email in which said attachment is explicitly mentioned