Better off with you watching over me (Jason Todd x Reader)
A/N: Okay so I finally finished this… at uni in the library. You’re all a bad influence on me. I had a hard time figuring out how graphic to go with this so hope this is what you were looking for? Anyway, here ya go anon ;)
You were staring outside the window again. It was dark outside. Apart from some outlines and dim lighting you didn’t see anything, you just heard the rain ticking on the window and the warmth of a blanket around you. You gritted your teeth as you were trying very hard not to think of the million things that could be going wrong with Jason right now. After his death he had become more reckless… and you were scared you weren’t going to get him back again if something… happened. You shook your head as you tried your damn best to ban those ideas out of your head. They were no good now and they never would be. It was part of the deal to grid and bear it. You grabbed your laptop and dropped yourself in his couch. Not quite as luxurious as his room at Bruce’s place, but more… anonymous somehow. It felt good to be alone together but at moments like these the place just felt desolate.
You opened your laptop and glanced at the time. 2 am. Damnit, you were lucky you didn’t have anywhere to be the next morning. Not that you wouldn’t be there if you had. You had just had one of those days where you couldn’t get him off of your mind. You sensed something was off, usually when this happened he came back more torn up than usual. You glanced over at the bandages and the disinfectant you put ready. “Jason where the hell are you even at.” You murmured. You checked some texts online, they were interesting enough but not to the extent they banned the worry that clung to you like wet clothes. You decided laying down was an option and started to dose off when you heard someone enter the door and closing it behind him. You opened your eyes. Not sure what you expected to see.
“ Jay… please tell me you’re still alive.”
“ Well, I’m technically undead.” You opened your eyes and saw him standing there in the doorway. Suprisingly, he didn’t seem too badly hurt. Some cuts and bruises at most. Nothing he wouldn’t have been able to easily fix himself. He flung his leather jacket in the general direction of a chair where It flung over the back support.
“ An ungodly hour for a booty call. What the fuck are you doing here at this time?” He asked, sounding tired and utterly done with the world in and of itself.
“ I wanted to check up on you. What happened?”
“ You’re better off not knowing.” He grunted. He looked frustrated and something you could not define as easily.
“ Bad day at work, huh?”
“ Doesn’t begin to cover it.” He walked over to you and you noticed something was really, really wrong this time. “ Jason what happened.” He sighed and sat next to you, legs spread and taking up a lot of space in the couch.
“ I stopped some jackass from killing a woman. “
“ That seems like a good thing to me.”
“ Not the first victim. And she’s alive, but in a coma. Fuck, she looked like you. Same… hair and build.“ You arched your eyebrows.
“ Did you think she was me?”
“ Of course not, I’d recognize your ass anywhere.” He grinned but it wasn’t genuine.
“ Jay.” You were pleading with him not to joke about this for once. He always did this.
“ No. But it served as a reminder. Being with you puts you in the line of fire. I made a fair share of enemies, maybe she was supposed to remind me of you. They could have found out I’m not entirely on my own. Maybe you should… steer clear for a while.” He started to take off his clothes, revealing some cuts and bruises but once again nothing he couldn’t handle himself.
“ I know for a fact you’re not self-conscious about how you look so how exactly do you intend to persuade me if you’re gonna run around shirtless?” That earned you a smile. You followed him into the bathroom as he ran some water of the shower already. He used with hot water, and it took some time for the thing to heat up. He got under the water but you knew he could still hear you and vice versa.
“ I’m serious, y/n.”
“ About the being without me for a while… Indefinitely you mean? You’re never gonna stop being who you are, doing what you do. I ain’t going anywhere. I know the risks and the code to the gun safe.” He looked at you proudly through strands of hair stuck to his face.
“ My little rascal. No, just until I know for sure he wasn’t working for someone or a copycat.”
“ Not a chance that I’m staying away from you Jason. If I’m not around you get even more trigger-happy out there.”
“ How’d you know?”
“ I just do.”
He didn’t even try to contend your statement. This wasn’t a first, but last time you had a massive fight over it. He seemed almost too calm now, concerned rather than pissed off because you wouldn’t listen to his suggestion of steering clear from him. Like he didn’t expect anything else from you at this point. You decided to just let him shower and looked at him. Damn, he looked good, almost unreal. The most attractive zombie you’d ever seen. When he was drying off he looked at you again, with the torn expression he had before.
You walked over to him and noticed he kept his hands off of you, not even pulling you into a hug. Considering just how physical he usually was, you couldn’t see that as a good sign.
“ Jason, mind telling me why you’re not even touching me?” No response. “Hey, look at me. You’re not going to lose me. I’d crawl my way out of the grave to be with you too”
He looked at you with a sense of guilt in his eyes somehow. “ You might not get so lucky.”
You clung to him, head on his still on his bare chest, and felt his hands slip around you as well. He pulled you close, first carefully as if you’d break then the way you were used to. Old habits die hard.
“ I’d lose my goddamn mind without you. “ he practically whispered against your hair.
“ I’m afraid you’re beyond that point anyway Jay. “ The fact that he didn’t come up with a quip to counter yours showed just how haunted he was by the thought of losing you. When you backed up a little you noticed the trail a tear left on his cheek. Jason didn’t do bawling, barely did crying, so that meant that it got to him. Damnit.
“ You’d save or avenge me.” He cringed at the word avenge, thinking of what that implied.
“ I love you. I’d rather not have to avenge you.” He said, in a surprisingly clear voice.
“ I know. But I’m dating you of all people. They’d only come after me if they had a death wish.”
“ Some of ‘em do. Hell, most of them do. What have I got to fucking offer you anyway? You’ve got a life, I’m spending my nights hunting monsters down. And I can’t get the damn image of that woman out of my head, but then as you. “
“ Then we have to replace it with another image. Of a very, very alive and safe me.”
You grabbed his hand and lead him to the bed while unzipping your cardigan. At first he seemed frozen in place but he caved quickly when he saw the look in your eyes, that you weren’t just doing this in an attempt to make him feel less like shit.
Before you knew it he had helped you out of the rest of your clothes as well and you ended up underneath the sheets. His touch, his body felt warm against your skin, that hadn’t changed since the Lazarus pit. He was still hot-blooded in personality and sheer body heat. And you still reveled in both. His kisses were greedy, desperate, like this was the last chance he’d ever get to be with you. You pushed him away but he started kissing your neck.
“ Jay, not that I’m complaining but…” “ Shhh, unless you’re about to tell me what you want just stop thinking.” He found a particularly sensitive spot on your neck.
“ Fuck you’re good at this.”
“ You’re still looking at me as if you’re saying goodbye somehow. Like you’re trying to get the image of me in your head.” By now you could read the man like a book.
He wanted to get back to your neck but you shoved him off of you and got on top of him.
“ Jay, I’m not going anywhere. And I’m gonna be in more harm’s way if I try to track you down after you decided to move. And we both know I’ll do it. I won’t deal with you being stripped from my life again.” He sighed, still staring at you. He felt his way up from your tighs to your side to your breasts where he lingered before moving to your arms and shoulders when you leaned forward a little, supporting on your arms. You couldn’t help but lean in to his touch. Didn’t help your resistance that he looked at you with a look of amazement in his eyes. As if he couldn’t believe you were even real.
“ You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. “
“ Flattery isn’t gonna get you off the hook, Jason. Promise me you won’t leave.”
He gritted his teeth, looking you in the eyes again. He pushed your arms from under you, landing your upper body on top of him. “ You really gotta learn to shut up from time to time.” He knotted his fingers in your hair and and kissed you, deepening the kiss and making you get lost in it again. He gently put you on your back again and caressed your body and traced butterfly kisses from your collar bone down to your stomach where he lingered for a little while.
When he wasn’t kissing you somewhere the sense of panic of him leaving crept up on you again.
“ ‘C mon Jason. I’m better off with you watching over me.”
He tried to get lower but you put stopped him with your knees, he looked at you with amusement.
“ Babe, we both know you can’t stop me.”
“ We both you know you wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t want you to.” He sighed.
“ I’m just trying to keep you alive.”
“ Then stay. Promise me. “ He got off of you and rolled over to his side of the bed.
“ Can’t.”
You sighed. “You get a week, I’ll work from here for the time being. This place is surprisingly well secured and I got taught how to use a gun by you. I’ll wear a bulletproof vest whenever you’re away. And then we drop this. Deal?” He ran his hand through his still wet hair, seeming to convince himself to go. You put your hand on his abdomen and kissed him, up his body, properly, not lightly.
“ Besides…” You got to his lips and pressed your body against his as well as you could. “ How long can you really go without this? ”
“ Fucking hell, fine.” He grabbed you from the back of your head and kissed you greedily again, this time just with the familiar fire that seemed to be running through his veins. He grabbed a condom and got on top of you again. “ If you want me to I can first…”
“ No. I’ve waited long enough.” He grinned and placed the palm of his hand on your chest while he went down on you. After he had you gasping for air almost making you come, you managed to bring out “ You’re fucking evil Jason.”
“ No, but I am about to…” He got in you. “ fuck you though.”
“ Smooth.”
“ Always.” He kissed you again, hard, and as you felt him moving with you. After you came together, he whispered in your ear. “ I love you. So much it hurts to know how much danger it puts you in.”
You kissed his shoulder.
“ Imagine what it’s like being me then. At least I’m not hunting down the scum of the earth.”
“ Just Gotham.”
“ Cause that’s reassuring.”
He laughed, and you could tell he wasn’t faking it. “ You’re glorious. In every way. Looks, personality,.. what the fuck did I ever do to get you?”
“ Come back from the dead? I mean, I seem to have a thing for zombies? “
“ Really, got a history do you?”
“ Nooo… just one. But hey, when you got your hands on the hot one.” He brushed some hair out of your face.
“ I adore you.”
“ Likewise. “
He seemed happy again, demons driven away. At least for a while. But regardless of whether he wanted you to or not; you would be there to do so whenever he needed you to.
Because you needed nights like these at least as much.
