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I think I may delete this Tumblr and make a new BiFelicia319

I think Tumblr secretly flagged my Tumblr as being NSFW last fall. That’s the only possibility I’ve been able to find for why I’ve been restricted from being able to like, comment, or reblog some other Tumblrs like Séan’s and it’s driving me nucking futs.

So, fuckit. You win, Tumblr.

If you want to make sure that I’ll follow you when I make my new Tumblr, please reblog or comment so I can have a list that I can screenshot.

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dyscomancer

At this point there’s no excuse for a baby boomer to be technologically incompetent anymore. It’s just willful ignorance, this shit is not fucking hard

“why is it asking for a password” because you’re logging into something martha, that’s how it’s been for the last 20 fucking years

“how do i do [x] can you show me” no dale you can Google it like the rest of us. it requires one exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works. your generation was smart enough to cause a total economic collapse out of malice but not smart enough to type in a few words I guess

“im just not tech savvy” no you just refuse to learn because like in most things you are stuck in your ways

the worst part is after you help an old fuck with some sort of tech bullshit 9 times out of 10 they’ll give you some kind of bullshit passive aggressive thank-you

like “oh i guess you young people have to know something about those phones you’re always on, huh?”

give me a fucking break gretchen i have depression from living in the economy you created and my phone is more of a reprieve than dealing with your stubborn inconsiderate ass

AND ANOTHER THING that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely fuck things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened

what do you mean you set your phone to japanese on accident, phil? there’s like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there

“i think it’s because i got a virus” no greg it’s not a virus, the only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated grandchildren

i just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can’t figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions in front of them

Dayamn! I am lovin’ this tea that @unionhack be servin’!

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i see a lot of quotes from Lundy Bancroft’s excellent book Why Does He Do That circulating on this website, but i’ve never really seen the last chapter quoted. So this is an excerpt from it: “Creating an Abuse-free World”. 

(A note: the book is written for women who suffer intimate partner violence at the hands of men, because it is sorely needed and because that’s what the author has professional experience with. However, this insight is valuable for people of all genders, and also in situations in which the abuser is not a partner or former partner.)

How can I help my daughter, sister, or friend who is being abused?

If you would like to make a significant difference in the life of an abused woman you care about, keep the following principle fresh in your mind: your goal is to be the complete opposite of what the abuser is.

THE ABUSER: Pressures her severely

SO YOU SHOULD: Be patient. Remember that it takes time for an abused woman to sort out her confusion and figure out how to handle her situation. It is not helpful for her to try to follow your timetable for when she should stand up to her partner, leave him, call the police, or whatever step you want her to take. You need to respect her judgement regarding when she is ready to take action - something her abuser never does.

THE ABUSER: Talks down to her

SO YOU SHOULD: Address her as an equal. Avoid all traces of condescension or superior knowledge in your voice. This caution applies just as much or more to professionals. If you speak to an abused woman as if you are smarter or wiser than she is, or as if she is going through something that could never happen to you, then you inadvertently confirm exactly what the abuser has been telling her, which is that she is beneath him. Remember, your actions speak louder than your words.

THE ABUSER: Thinks he knows what is good for her better than she does

SO YOU SHOULD: Treat her as the expert on her own life. Don’t assume that you know what she needs to do. I have sometimes given abused women suggestions that I thought were exactly right but turned out to be terrible for that particular situation. Ask her what she thinks might work and, without pressuring her, offer suggestions, respecting her explanations for why certain courses of action would not be helpful. Don’t tell her what to do.

THE ABUSER: Dominates conversations

SO YOU SHOULD: Listen more and talk less. The temptation may be great to convince her what a “jerk” he is, to analyze his motives, to give speeches covering entire chapters of this book. But talking too much inadvertently communicates to her that your thoughts are more important than hers, which is exactly how the abuser treats her. If you want her to value her own feelings and opinions, then you have to show her that you value them.

THE ABUSER: Believes he has the right to control her life

SO YOU SHOULD: Respect her right to self-determination. She is entitled to make decisions that are not exactly what you would choose, including the decision to stay with her abusive partner or to return to him after a separation. You can’t convince a woman that her life belongs to her if you are simultaneously acting like it belongs to you. Stay by her even when she makes choices that you don’t like.

THE ABUSER: Assumes he understands her children and their needs better than she does

SO YOU SHOULD: Assume that she is a competent, caring mother. Remember that there is no simple way to determine what is best for the children of an abused woman. Even if she leaves the abuser, the children’s problems are not necessarily over, and sometimes abusers actually create worse difficulties for the children postseparation than before. You cannot help her to find the best path for her children unless you have a realistic grasp of the complicated set of choices that face her.

THE ABUSER: Thinks for her

SO YOU SHOULD: Think with her. Don’t assume the role of teacher or rescuer. Instead, join forces with her as a respectful and equal team member.

Notice that being the opposite of the abuser does not simply mean saying the opposite of what he says. If he beseeches her with “Don’t leave me, don’t leave me,” and you stand on the other side badgering her with, “Leave him, leave him,” she will feel that you’re much like him; you are both pressuring her to accept your judgement of what she should do. Neither of you is asking the empowering question, “What do you want to do?”

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You have to learn how to say no without you feeling like you’re being mean. Setting boundaries is how you see who does and doesn’t respect you, your time, or your emotional well-being. Anyone who sees your boundaries and thinks your being mean or tries to push that boundaries is not a person you owe your time or attention.

Precisely

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A Nutshell of My Hell, Pt. 1

So, here goes. I’m going to go into some background of my experiences with abuse.
I’m going to go over the nutshell basics of it as best as I can. But even with trying to nutshell it, there’s going to be A LOT. And, I’m not gonna lie, this is not going to be nice. By that, I mean that I’m not going to be nice. These are memories that still make me angry and I’m not going to flinch from showing…
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fandom as a whole is migrating away from a mutual appreciation of a story and towards an endless cycle of nitpicking and discourse and frankly that’s just Exhausting

Its just an endless stream of “you’re doing it wrong”. You’re reading this wrong, you’re appreciating this character wrong, you’re appreciating this character too much, you’re not appreciating this character enough, its not enough that I don’t like this pairing but it’s wrong to like it, you’re enjoying this wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

And honestly it’s just tiring.

👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

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It’s 3:38am. I can’t fucking sleep.

Why?

Because the E string on my violin is out of tune and even with the fine-tuner, I can’t get it above a D#. I don’t dare try to mess with the peg. Music store doesn’t open til 11am. But if they charge for adjusting my E string, I’m fucked.

And, of course, I don’t actually expect them to do it for free. I mean, it’d be nice if they wouldn’t mind. But I shan’t be the least bit surprised or butthurt if there’s a price for them doing so.

I’m too n00b to do it myself.

But I wanna play my violin.

I wanna practice with my daughter.

And I’m legit losing sleep because my E string is buggered.

Fuck.

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