you are a good friend

Hi cutie

he's in the fragrance catacombs

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA Season 9, Episode 08 ↳ The Gang Gets Quarantined (2013)

Matthew McConaughey in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

So I started working again today, and me and my coworker had to squeeze lemons which usually is a really un fun job but TODAY. We had the mostly lovely batch of lemons to work with. So we rated how smoothly they cut and how nice the insides of them looked for about an hour. An absolutely marvelous time I gotta say

And in case anyone was wondering

Here she is. The most lovely lemon I’ve ever laid eyes upon

Just thinking about her. I can’t believe we had to turn her into lemon juice

Geno @ practice

the thing about microbiology when you're NOT working in human health is that you have to make peace with the fact that a big chunk of bacteria out there were first identified, described, sequenced, and named from the human microbiome. like, specifically named in reference to where it is found on the body. even if it exists plentifully elsewhere.

and this makes sense okay but it's mildly weird when you're doing literally anything other than human medicine and you've gotta be like, "Hello! We found the bacteria Sciencename comesfromvagina growing in our fish stocks. We promise nobody dunked their cooch in the water. It's totally natural. Anyway, we discovered that it helps the fish grow, so we're going to give them more pussy bacteria."

i just really wanna suck a cock rn fuck

You can get the same sensation by sucking a hotdog warmed in a microwave for 15 seconds

I've seen some of the men you all date. The smell will be the same.

this bitch...i need her hair and skin care routine

can't stop thinking about these photos he looks like a really really extra and messy girl you would meet through a friend of a friend of your ex at a drag brunch or maybe hot yoga class and she would give you her number but then flake 3 times before you'd finally make it over to her place and she'd have crystals and plants everywhere you know the whole nine yards and a standoffish cat or maybe a bitchy little white dog named like topaz or something and like four people hanging around her apargment with an unclear relationship (roommates friends lovers exes?) and you'd smoke and drink rosé and she'd make you put your birth chart into her phone before letting you go down on her on her shitty little mattress on the floor and then she would essentially ghost you and you're pretty sure it's because of your birth chart or maybe because she's clearly got severe committment issues but in any case you still follow each other on instagram so you always see her posting pictures like this talking about how her recent two week vacation was sooooo important for her spiritual journey towards self love and inner peace and every time you'd feel a pang because even though you find her super annoying the pussy was just absolutely earth shattering.

i know this is coming from a place of like intense sexual objectification and homophobia and racism not to mention the world ending efforts of big oil but unfortunately it is so funny

i love that this is perfectly designed to make every single political person angry but for different reasons

Radical Centrism

i love the term "dressing wounds" like you get all dolled up now lol

rmr in 2012 when youd change ur theme and youd make a post about it and thered be like 25 people on ur blog to see it…pure

Don’t tell Rory!

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "fairy or walrus tumblr poll" youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude i swear i saw a fairy at the front door. at least it’s not a walrus that’d be weird as fuck right

my good friend and notable author sir arthur conan doyle: I FUCKING KNEW IT ‼️‼️