escapes for when you feel anxious

Hey everyone, I’m Marcus and I’m a 20 y/o mentally ill gay trans guy. I’ve been looking for new housing with literally zero luck so far so if anyone has leads on somewhere cheap in the Twin Cities area in MN I would really appreciate it.

I live with an ex friend and her father currently, renting a room in their basement.

The above is the bathroom that I have to use and our laundry room, which is across the hall from my bedroom. Basically the whole house is like this. It’s full of mold and bugs and literally years of trash build up. Our bathroom vanity is falling apart because of rot. The walls are covered in mold. I can’t use our kitchen 90% of the time because it’s covered in filthy dishes from her and her dad, sometimes full of maggots or mold, and this has made ED recovery difficult.

I have tried cleaning parts of the house but neither my roommate nor her dad maintain any level of cleanliness so keeping the house neat or even just sanitary is impossible. I’ve gotten ringworm multiple times since I moved here due to how filthy the house is. My roommate left shit covered sheets in the hallway by my bedroom for months and just warned me about them when I moved in rather than doing anything about them. Their cat throws up frequently and they don’t clean up after her even when her vomit is covered in mold from sitting there for so long. Said cat has also pissed in my room.

Aside from the horrible state of the house, my roommate is a rapist and an abuser. While I have not been her main victim she has still been horrible to me in the 1+ year I’ve lived here. It’s taking a horrible toll on my mental health and I want nothing more than to get out.

If you think you might know someone who is looking for a roommate in the area please message me and I can give more details. I’m trying not to be picky about housing possibilities but I can’t leave the area without dropping out of school so again I am trying to find something in the Twin Cities area.

If you don’t know anyone, just spreading this post would help.

My roommates dad informed me tonight that I have until January 15th to find somewhere else to live. My biggest struggle has been finding somewhere affordable—I’m a barista and don’t have a very large income. Any leads I’ve gotten have been either very short term or too far away for me to keep my job and continue going to school.

here, enjoy a horrific house tour

And since y’all are here, here’s someone who genuinely needs help! They are trans, gay, and he will be homeless soon and needs help!! Please boost

As of January 7th they still need help!

Drink Magic Masterpost

Sorry, not the alcohol type drink, but you can find a masterpost for that here! This masterpost is organized by purpose/need. The ones involving coffee are bolded, since most of them are teas! 

DO NOT BLINDLY ASSUME HERBS IN TEAS ARE OKAY FOR YOU! DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Emotions + Emotional healing:

Health + Healing:

Morning + Sleep:

Odds and Ends:

Correspondences:

Related posts:

The Ultimate Overnight Glow Up Routine

- start off by clearing your schedule. this will probably take a hella long time. so finish any tasks, homework or chores.

• light your favourite scented candle and put on your music of choice, then brush out + tie back your hair.

• if you wanted to, you could file, shape or paint your nails.

• run a bath and get all your products together. personally, i would get out:

- a comb, shampoo, conditioner, argan oil + a heat protectant spray

- face cleanser, exfoliator, face mask (clay or sheet), blackhead strips, moisturiser + toner (you could just use rose water if you have some!)

- body wash, body moisturiser, exfoliating gloves + a razor

• jump in the bath and start out by washing your hair. rinse with lukewarm water (to avoid damage from the hot water). then, comb out your hair and apply conditioner.

• let it sit while you exfoliate your skin + apply conditioner to the areas that you want to shave (it leaves your skin softer than regular shaving cream would).

• make sure your razor is new as a blunt one will give you more nicks + cuts.

• shave, then rinse off the conditioner with lukewarm water.

• wash your entire body + rinse off the body wash with fresh water.

• by this point, your hair and body will be clean, so hop out of the tub + apply body moisturiser. rub it in thouroughly, leave no dry patches.

• time for skincare! rinse your face in the sink + apply your face mask. wait 15 minutes, then put on a blackhead strip.

• whilst it is on, tidy the bathroom, pick out your clothes, do whatever.

• take it off very gently, then lightly exfoliate + cleanse your face. afterwards, finish with your toner + moisturiser.

• so your face and body are all done! the only thing left to do is put a small amount of argan oil on the ends of your hair, put on your heat protectant spray and, if you want to, freshen your mouth with some mouthwash or brush your teeth.

• next, if you’re planning to go out somewhere, put on some makeup!

• you can let your hair air dry while you do your makeup, but if you feel like it won’t be dry in time for styling, use a hairdryer.

• i put my makeup products on in this order: eyebrows, eyeshadow primer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, face primer, foundation, concealer, powder, contour, blush, highlight, lips, lower lid eyeshadow, setting spray.

• after you’ve done your makeup, it’s time to style your hair. how you style it is completely up to you, do whatever you feel like!

• now all that’s left is to get dressed. for an extra boost of confidence, wear your best underwear or favourite outfit, and top it off with gorgeous accessories.

• apply vaseline to your pulse points and spray your favourite perfume; if you have your collarbones, shoulders or legs on show, dust a bit of highlighter on them for an extra glow!

• now we’re all finished! enjoy your night and all the compliments you’ll receive!

Lots of people don’t know the specifics of a holiday or just celebrate because its a holiday, but don’t know what it stands for. So I made a little list to make it easier to understand a few basic details, if you want more details feel free to message me or send me an ask for a more descriptive list!

Beginning of spring! Celebration is with a fresh start (basically new years) make plans for the year and refresh your home and do spring cleaning!

The spring equinox, which can be any time between the 20th or 23rd. Its basically a party, full of dancing a music with sweet foods!

Beginning of summer! Another party! This one has food that’s fresh like berries and veggies, celebrate by doing self care!

The summer solstice! Its about warmth and fire! Go dancing at a beach party, swim in a pool/lake, have a bonfire!

Beginning of harvest, celebration with lots of cooking and mostly breads!

The autumn equinox! Know what you’re thankful for and give back to the community! Doing service work and helping others.

Beginning of winter and to celebrate the spirits/world/underworld/death and our ancestors who have passed! (My favorite holiday!)

To celebrate the bounty of the year and have a long feast with loved ones! Share joy and gift giving! (*cough* came before *cough* christmas *cough*)

I Gave Lemons to my Coworkers

I started the morning saying happy solstice to my co workers and I had a few, in unison say “Happy Solstice Carlos!” They truly meant it and it nearly made me shed a tear.

They had made me in charge of the “Secret Santa” so I made it today…because Yule.

They wanted a potluck, so I made gingerbread, shortbread and brought cider.

Then, after lunch, I placed home grown lemons all over the office. On coffee cups, behind keyboards, in mail piles, in stockings they had for decoration. I made sure everyone had at least one lemon. Once I was done, one of my coworkers asked why I did it.

“Giving citrus on solstice is a tradition honoring the last year, struggles that were felt to actually survive winter in the past and citrus represents the sun, and welcoming spring! Every night after tonight, the days get longer and the nights shorter…

and now that everyone has accepted my lemons, they’re all filthy pagans just like me.”

pleeeeeaaaaase don’t make fun of people for being overenthusiastic about their interests. if you see someone getting really excited about something and you think it’s a good idea to ruin their fun (and don’t think people don’t notice your eye rolls and side glances) you’re an asshole

platonic cuddling should be a much more commonly accepted thing. like spooning with friends is so great. cuddling shouldn’t be considered just romantic. falling asleep in your best friend’s arms is amazing.

lgbtq slam poetry

a masterpost of poetry by and for the lgbtq community

Denice Frohman - “Dear Straight People” (WOWPS 2013)

Elliot Darrow - “God is Gay” (CUPSI 2013 Finals)

Rhiannon McGavin - “Art Class”

Joy Young - “The Queer Hokey-Pokey” (IWPS 2014)

(tw: rape) Kevin Kantor - “People You May Know” (CUPSI 2015 Finals)

Ollie Schminkey & Wyatt Fleckenstein - “Small Towns”

Thomas Hill - “Pray the Gay Away” (Brave New Voices 2013)  

Sibel Sayiner & Violet Trachtenberg - “Pride” (CUPSI 2014)

Jamie Mortara - “Some Things You Need to Know Before Dating Me”

(tw: self harm) Ollie Schminkey - “How to Love Your Body in 10 Easy Steps”

Justice Gaines - “Letter from Xem” (CUPSI 2015)

Ethan Smith - “A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be” (CUPSI 2014)

Dia Davina - A Boy Called Everything

Joy Young - “Unbuttoning My Boy Shirt” (NPS 2014)

Arati Warrier - “Witch Hunt” (TGS 2014)

(tw: suicide) Kevin Kantor & Sienna Burnett - "Phases” (CUPSI 2015)

Denver Team Round #4 - Brave New Voices 2013 (Semi Finals) 

(tw: death, alcoholism, abuse)  Patrick Roche - “21” (CUPSI 2014)

Jai Rogers, Francisco Velaquez, Jessica Vernon - “Public Trans” (BNW 2014)

Wyatt Fleckenstein - “Labels” (CUPSI 2014) 

(tw: implied suicide) Bronte, Fraser, and Josh - “Gay Suicides” (BNV 2011)

(tw: rape) Ollie Schminkey - “Two Twin Beds” (NPS 2014)

Joanna Hoffman - “Pride”

(tw: n slur, explicit sex ment) Danez Smith - “Dear Mrs. Thompson”

Andrea Gibson - “Prism”

(tw: abuse, drugs, death) Gina Keplinger - “For Bob” (NPS 2014)

Jomar Valentin - “Layering” (NPS 2014)

Talia Young - “Queers’ Ark” (CUPSI 2015)

Cassidy Foust - “The Knife That Carves” (CUPSI 2015)

Sarah Lawson - “Erasure” (WoWPS 2015)

(tw: explicit sex ment) Zev Verdoner - “Dear Rosie” (CUPSI 2015)

not to b soft but namjoon has grown so much as a person he really threw away all of the toxic masculinity and ‘tough’ persona and truly embraced his true nature and now hes just a guy who goes on walks in the rain and cycles by the river nd feeds birds or whatever and is really himself style wise and im just really happy that hes comfortable with himself now

another day of being a bisexual disaster

Like,,,they’ve been showing it since BEFORE debut. I understand that now they are showing it MORE, but hOw are we still surprised??

Y'all know GLAM, the AWESOMEE girl group under Big Hit that disbanded (unfortunately :() around 5 or 6 years ago? Their debut song “Part XXO” (a song about embracing your sexuality) was written by our beloved leader Namjoon!

A number of the BTS members took part in the MV of this great song as well.

Both Jungkook and Namjoon have openly expressed their love for the very popular gay singer, Troye Sivan, and have even sung his gay love song “Fools” that is written for MEN, together.

They have sung multiple love songs together, shamelessly, and without hesitation (Jungkook×Jimin We Don’t Talk Anymore). They have written lyrics that imply that they support LGBT+ (i.e., Yoongi’s mixtape). Namjoon has reccommended a song that is about same sex love and it from a movie about a closeted boy.

They have dedicated three of their albums to loving anyone you want, especially yourself.

Namjoon has used “boyfriend/girlfriend” in nearly EVERY interview in America regardless of the interviewer’s heteronormal way of stating the questions.

BTS is LGBT+ supportive??!!

Honey, we been knew.

My Sapphic Playlist

Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

girls - girl in red

Honey - Kehlani

Strangers - Halsey feat. Lauren Jauregui

HEAVEN - Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who

Girls/Girls/Boys - Panic! At The Disco

i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red

What I Need - Hayley Kiyoko feat. Kehlani

Everyone Is Gay - A Great Big World

Ghost - Halsey

Gettin’ Bi - Pete Gardner

Get Like - Kehlani

Feelings - Hayley Kiyoko

Bad At Love - Halsey

Electric Love - MØ

reasons to stay alive

stay alive not because your mother will never stop crying but because you can look up at the sky on a sunny day and see the clouds moving by and you’ll take a moment to wonder if it is because the earth is spinning or because the wind is blowing stay alive so you can answer that question stay alive so you can ask someone else that question, then wow them by knowing the answer or be wowed that they already knew it as well stay alive because you’re never too old to look up at the sky and see figures in the shapes of clouds a cumulonimbus that looks like a dog will never fail to make you smile stay alive not because your father will blame himself for the loss of his baby but because your favorite band might come out with a new song or your favorite show might get renewed for a new season or your favorite person might like your tweet on twitter stay alive because the future is unclear and that may seem terrifying, not knowing what’s to come, but it’s worth taking that chance gambling is never a safe bet but the house always wins and you, my dear, are the house stay alive not because your best friend will never forgive themselves for losing you but because of the feeling you get when you do see your best friend that calmness, that peace, that happiness – that feeling is genuine happiness and yes, you are capable of experiencing it you’re allowed to experience it you’re allowed to be happy stay alive because you’re allowed to be happy and there are countless reasons to feel that joy radiate like sunbeams like licking melted ice cream off of your hand as it drips from the cone or the way the world slowly changes from green to orange in autumn or seeing the first snowfall of winter or that first sip of a hot beverage when you’re absolutely freezing or wearing your favorite underwear or finally seeing the Big Dipper at night or the perfect amount of Parmesan cheese on top of your pasta or your pet crawling into your lap stay alive because at least one of those things make you happy and you should experience it one more time stay alive not because i’ll miss you but because one day life will feel the way a brand new notebook feels - intimidating, but exciting and more importantly, a fresh start stay alive because you deserve to be around for that fresh start

(cc, 2017)

art class was outside today. 🎨 ig: kahlokid 🌟