frazzled

Just your typical morning parenting five undead teenagers. An excerpt from this 1983 one-shot. Esme POV.

"Emmett Cullen, what is the meaning of this?"

My mad scientist leapt up from his stool, sending a red-hot soldering iron and half a dozen circuit boards rattling to the concrete floor of our basement. "Uh oh," he grunted, taking one look at my expression.

I flicked the letter open and read it aloud. "Dear Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, we are writing to inform you that your son Emmett has not met the requirements for graduation on June 20 with a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering. He will be receiving a failing grade in four classes this semester, three of which are required for graduation as described above. Please review the transcript enclosed. Your student may enroll in all of these classes for the upcoming fall semester of the 1987–88 school year without reapplying for admission. Enrollment for the fall semester..." I shoved the letter into his hands. "Care to explain?"

"Hmm." He studied the letter with scholarly interest. "I may have forgotten to turn in most of my assignments and take the exams this semester."

"Emmett! You were doing so well—you got straight As last semester! What on earth happened?"

"Nothing happened!" he said. He was trying not to grin—the nerve of him! "I just don't want to graduate."

"What? Why?"

He shrugged and stooped to pick up the circuit boards. "What's the point? It's not like I'm going to get a job."

"You could if you really wanted to, you know that. We have at least another year before we move on."

"Esme," he said, finally bursting into the enormous grin I loved so much. "Can you really see me sitting in an office eight hours a day?"

"Not really," I admitted. The image really did border on the impossible. "But there are other jobs you might enjoy. And even if you don't use your degree that way, you deserve to graduate a hundred times over! You've come so far academically, and we're so proud of you."

"Yeah, but still, what's the point of the piece of paper? It's not like Carlisle ever got a legit medical degree, you know?"

"That's not the point—"

"I swear to God, Rosalie, if you don't unlock this door...!" Edward shouted two floors above us.

"Anyway," Emmett said cheerfully, swinging back around onto his stool, "it's one less graduation you have to sit through. Those things have to be getting—"

"ESME!" Rosalie shrieked.

"—old by now. You're welcome!"

I huffed my disapproval and headed up the stairs. Edward and Rosalie had been at it all morning. Edward was parked in front of the bathroom door, rapping repeatedly on the bruised wood.

"Now what?" I sighed.

"I'm going to be late for my eleven o'clock," Edward snapped, trying the doorknob again. "I need my keys, Rosalie, for the last time!"

"And your keys are... in the bathroom?" I said, perplexed.

"I may have left them in the pocket of yesterday's jeans," he admitted. "But it wouldn't be a problem if some people didn't take three-hour bubble baths..."

"Or if some people would clean up their own laundry," shouted the voice on the other side of the door. "Honestly, how lazy can you be?"

"All you have to do is slide them under the damn door!"

"I'm not getting out of this bath for your stupid philosophy class! It's an elective anyway! Esme, would you please dismember him for a while?!"

"What possible reason could there be for sitting in cold water for three hours?!"

"Because you haven't left yet?!"

Edward spluttered, rattling the doorknob again. "Of all the pig-headed, immature—"

"You want your keys?!" Rosalie shouted. "Here!" There was a splashing sound and then we heard the bathroom window creak open and slam shut.

"Are you kidding me?!" Edward fumed. "It's been raining for six days straight!" He threw me an accusing look and stormed down the stairs.

"Esme?" Alice's voice drifted in the window from outside.

"Coming," I called back, exasperated, and headed downstairs after Edward.

The screen door swung open and Alice appeared, followed closely by Jasper.

"It's not a big deal," he was telling her.

"They're in the garden," Alice informed Edward politely. "Two rows back in the zucchini."

"Thanks. At least I have one decent sister in this house."

"My pleasure, dear brother."

The screen door slammed behind him.

"Carlisle needs you," Alice announced, looking squarely up at me with that elfin authority she carried sometimes. "He's about to pull over on the side of the road and he's upset."

I glanced up at the clock. "His shift isn't due to end for another three hours. What's happened?"

"I don't know," Alice said. "I just know that he's upset and that you should go. He'll be stopped on the shoulder in a few minutes. Route 73, mile marker 59."

"He doesn't necessarily want company," Jasper put in. From the hint of exasperation in his tone, it sounded like he had been protesting Alice's interference all the way home.

"I thought you weren't going to hunt," I said to him, frowning. His eyes were still too orange—the result of his accident back in March—for being seen in public, and Rosalie was counting on him. It wasn't every day she presented at the college's astrophysics symposium.

"I figured it'd be better not to kill her classmates," Jasper said. "I'll wear sunglasses."

"Indoors, at night?" I asked.

"As I was saying," Alice said, glaring up at him, "You'll need to go now if you want to meet him in time. Traffic's bad."

"Not in his direction," Jasper said firmly.

I was already out the door. Any excuse to get out of this house!

mrs. & dr. cullen attending yet another gallery opening circa 2023.

Renesmee is partially named after Esme and yet they have no meaningful interactions in the book or movie.

We're told Renesmee sometimes sleeps in Esme's arms, but we don't see it. The only thing we really have is Nessie playing with Esme's second best set of silverware while everyone watches her.

When the Cullens leave to find witnesses, Rosalie blows Renesmee a kiss. Esme only says goodbye to Bella and Edward.

The only reference to 'grandma' in the books is to Grandma Swan's hair combs Bella wears at the wedding.

What's up with this? Is this just a function of the Bella-centric writing in which Esme is an afterthought? Or is this an in-universe thing where Esme and Nessie legitimately aren't close?

Likewise Charlie gets to be 'grandpa' and Carlisle's role seems more like 'doctor,' with him taking measurements and trying to get her to drink baby formula.

I know fanfic and headcanons are often filled with sweet moments between Nessie and her Cullen grandparents but the text (and movie) isn't. Part of me wonders if it's because Charlie is Nessie's biological grandparent and Esme and Carlisle aren't. That whole "Edward and Bella have a REAL family" vs the found family of the larger Cullen clan.

Discuss.

Real answer - all of the above! Also, no one in canon can have anything, do anything, or be anything that challenges Bella's primacy. Until Breaking Dawn, Esme is revered by Edward as the 'mother', the loving and caring and nurturing one, the heart of the family. But with Renesmee's birth, Bella becomes the Mother, and Esme has to fade away to allow her wear that crown.

But for a more fun fanfic answer...

Okay, but what if it's Esme who holds back?

Esme, who once upon a time had a real flesh and blood baby, with flower petal skin and the scent of life in their hair? Esme who knows, on a fundamental level that vampirism could never erase no matter what human memories it takes from her, what it's like to grow life in her womb and birth it into her hands. Esme, who held a baby in her arms, a baby still physically connected to her, and felt him breathe and the way his tiny heart beat next to hers. Esme knows.

And then Renesmee is born and all Esme can feel is how wrong it is. This alien not-baby creature who grows too fast and knows too much...she's beautiful and compelling and everyone else is enchanted, but all Esme can feel is a visceral revulsion. Renesmee is the corruption of the most precious moment of Esme's life, something that changed her on such a profound level she brings it with her into her vampire life even if her conscious memory doesn't hold it strongly, and she can't bear to be near it.

Okay, but can we talk about Carlisle also doing the exact same job as a therapy dog at the hospital as a piece of eye candy? Being the reward for the patient for getting up and moving, distracting them from any pain or discomfort by giving them something else to focus on...

Physical therapist: Good job on those exercises! You've unlocked door #1!

Happy Mother's Day

It's Alice's first time baking with Esme! An excerpt from this 1957 one-shot. Esme POV.

"I'm home!" I called out from the garage. "And I could use some help!"

I heard Alice's delicate sigh three floors up. By the time I got around to the trunk and opened it, she had flitted to my side wearing a new striped yellow dress and a pitiful look of resignation. She stuck out her arms and I began filling them with bags of groceries.

"You don't really have to do this, you know," I teased her, scooping up the last four bags myself.

"I promised," she said, and her pout turned upward into the smile that was never very far away.

just met peter facinelli and asked him what he thought is most compelling about carlisle as a character:

and that’s actually so true and poetic? calling all fanfiction authors to go and pick that line up.

Chapter 6 of 1935 is up on AO3! Newborn Emmett just woke up :)

15 questions for 15 friends

tagged by: @carmybcrzatto and @roostersrocket tysm, darlings!! 💞

Thank you for the tag 🫶🏻❤️

Added my answers underneath a readmore :)

thanks for tagging me! (sorry idk how to do read more). 💞 tagging @princessrococo @ynhara @miss-morgans-lover @rat-cullen @mind-diaries @jessicanjpa @lookitsaworm @gaypirate420 and open tag if anyone wants to do this as well!

Are you named after anyone: no

When was the last time you cried? April 23rd: had a breakdown in my apartment hallway. lesbian crush pissed me off

Do you have kids: no but I want them someday!

What sports do you play/have you played? I ski, run, badminton and do yoga and gymnastics. I used to swim and do horseback riding competitively but that was like 1000 years ago

Do you do sarcasm? No, never.

What is the first thing you notice about a person? their hair and smile

What's your eye color? Very light blue, sometimes looks grey

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings def, I like to feel good and I don't like to feel scared

Any talents? nothing special yet

Where were you born? in a hospital

What are your hobbies? blogging, creative writing, games, bridge, reading, yoga, singing, sauna, building stuff, drawing, and anything adrenaline inducing

How tall are you? Last time I checked 173 cm/5'7 ish

Favorite subject in school: history, art history, music, religion studies, biology

Dream jobs? vampire or professional tumblr content creator

Thanks for the tag @denalilily !

Are you named after anyone? My Uncle Jesse. Until the moment I was born they were convinced I was a boy and my name was going to be Isaac.

When was the last time you cried? Today, having a difficult conversation with my mom

Do you have kids? Yes! Two girls, ages 14 and 16. Next year I'll be channeling Esme with all (both) my kiddos in high school 🥺

What sports do you play/have you played? I walk into walls on a daily basis—there's your answer. (Ironically enough, I met my husband playing racquetball.)

Do you do sarcasm? Sometimes

What is the first thing you notice about a person? It takes several meetings to even recognize a person's appearance so not that. Probably the energy in their voice and the words they're saying.

What's your eye color? Blueish greenish grayish

Scary movies or happy endings? Between the two I'd pick happy endings, but bittersweet is my favorite flavor.

Any talents? Plenty of skills, but I'd say singing is my "talent."

Where were you born? Washington DC

What are your hobbies? Current favorites are singing (choir mainly with occasional solos), reading, papercrafting, jigsaw puzzles, easy hiking/walking, board games, Twilight

How tall are you? 6 feet

Favorite subject in school? In high school, English and choir. In undergrad, hmm. A tie between ethics, Greek, human anatomy, and a J-term class re: health care in the developing world. Grad school: gross anatomy.

Dream jobs? Already have them, though I don't do either as much as I wish I could. I have my own freelance editing business and my cardmaking has just begun expanding into a small business. I'm doing my first craft fair later this month! My writing/editing blog is @writingatthepark and my cardmaking blog is @papersquirrels .

Tagging @stardustandtwilight @staringatthesky11 @ginwhitlock @turbulenceseverywhere @brontes @acewardcullen @edwardsvirtue @edwardskhakipants @yoomiii123 @clarasogatsby @needahugfromesme @palmofafreezinghand @gisellelx @goldeneyedgirl @sannehale @perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin

Thanks for the tag @jessicanjpa ! 💕 Tagging anyone who wants to share a few about themselves!

Rosalie: Edward dating a human is going to put our family in danger and cause nothing but trouble!

The Cullens, within 3 days of officially meeting Bella: stole two cars, drugged a soccer mom, caused a 27 car pile up, killed a fellow vampire, burned down a ballet studio. 

Rosalie: 

"If Carlisle was the soul of our family, then Esme was the heart. He gave us a leader who deserved following; she made that following into an act of love."

weary

In which Alice and Jasper are getting tired of apologizing all the time. An excerpt from this 1965 one-shot. (Jasper POV)

I tried to make it through. Alice would be at lunch and in my classes the rest of the day after this. I really tried to ignore the deepening thirst for a few minutes: the acidic pain spreading down my throat and into my belly, the tightening of my limbs in preparation for the attack, the curling of my fingers into claws around the edges of my chair. I looked slowly through the room, sampling the scents. By the time I realized what I was doing, I had already picked out my target.

The pain of thirst was one thing, but I was getting dangerously close to doing something about it. Again. I slid to my feet, careful to keep each muscle under lockdown so my instincts wouldn’t take over.

“I need to go to the nurse,” I informed the teacher.

“Again?” he said, frowning. I slammed the door on my way out.

Again? Esme’s emotions said when she picked me up from the nurse’s office. But she smiled and told the nurse I’d had a bad cold over the weekend and she was sure I just needed to rest.

“Jasper seems to get sick a lot,” the nurse said on our way out. “Maybe you should get him checked out by a specialist.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” Esme called over her shoulder. “Another bad day?” she asked me, handing me the car keys.

“Nobody’s dead.”

“Good enough,” she said with a little laugh.

No it isn’t, I thought as we got into the car, but I didn’t feel up to another round of her pity so I kept it to myself. Esme was more annoyed than she liked to let on with my lack of progress right now, and that was much easier to bear.

I began to pull out of the school parking lot, but then I slammed on the brakes when I saw Alice in the rearview mirror. She gave me a taunting grin and zipped out of the mirror’s viewpoint, running toward the reservoir half a mile away. My day was looking up; it wasn’t often she left school along with me. One mysteriously ill teenager was enough to keep us under the radar. Two would be pushing it.

“Change of plans,” I told Esme. She took the keys and sent me on my way with a concerned smile.

Alice was in a playful mood today. Her scent and her footprints led straight into the water and disappeared there. She’d hidden herself deep inside the pine-and-oak trails surrounding the reservoir. I could smell the other half of her trail somewhere along the sandy bank that stretched around in a quarter-mile circle, but I wasn’t sure which way to go around.

“I wonder where she could be?” I called out. A stifled giggle sounded over on the northwest bank. I took off at top speed, counterclockwise along that side. My prey never stood a chance.

“You’re not very good at this,” I teased once I caught her in my arms. I planted a kiss on her spiky hair, sighing in relief as her scent enveloped me. The thirst was receding already. “Don’t tell me you’re sick, too?”

Alice jumped straight up and planted a kiss on the top of my hair, too, and fell back down into my arms. She did a reasonably good imitation of a human cough.

“It hit pretty fast,” she said thoughtfully. “It must be that cold you had over the weekend. The nurse let me go since she could still see Esme’s car in the parking lot.”

“You’ll feel better soon,” I whispered in her ear.

We shared another kiss, one that lasted, and then we drew back and stared, considering each other. Another kiss had us sinking down together onto a bed of pine needles, ready to forget that school even existed. Alice’s hand found its way to the buckle of my belt, but just then her eyes glazed over. It didn’t feel like a good vision.

"We have to go,” she said when she came out of it. “In fact, I think we’d better go hunt now.” She stared at nothing for another second. “Right now. Come on, get up.”

I hauled myself to my feet with a sigh and we began to run. It was a close one, judging by how Alice pushed herself to her top speed a moment later. I wanted to turn around so I could run back and purposely kill whoever it was that had ruined the only perfect moment we’d had all week.

“This is far enough,” Alice said when we finally slowed to a stop. “But you still need to feed right now.” She pointed to the crest of a nearby hill and I trudged on up to follow the rancid scent of an elderly deer.

Its blood was ghastly. Possibly the worst I’d ever had.

“Sorry about the deer,” Alice said when I found her again. She was sitting against a tree stump with her arms around her knees, so I joined her. “I couldn’t find anything better in time.” She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair for a moment. “Jazz, I’m so s—“

“Don’t say it again. Just… please, stop saying it all the time.”

“I’ll stop if you stop."

We tried again to make love, but it was no good. My mood was too sour, and before long I had soured hers as well. And that was saying something, considering how low she’d felt this week. Her guilt and my thirst had been making each other spiral downward for days now. I finally let her go and rolled over onto my back to stare up into the sun.

Maybe I should go off alone for a while. Just a day or two, to give both of us a break. Alice waited silently; she was willing to let me go. Instead, I wriggled closer until my head was in her lap. A little burst of joyful relief flickered deep inside her, and that was good enough.

I closed my eyes. She began to slowly comb her way through my hair, humming one of the nonsense songs she used to hum back in the good old days when we had just met. The withdrawal had been so bad that I’d lain like this for days at a time, holding onto her love for dear life as tremor after tremor shivered through me and all I could think about was human blood.

It was nowhere near as bad now, but this was still a comfort for both of us sometimes. We both slowly relaxed as she hummed and combed her way through the afternoon.