Come watch my friend @rymmage on twitch! He’s cute, and speaks in sweet sweet night time tones.

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

yes.

@leaf-beard

Unexpected and welcomed

Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

Because Clark is awesome and loves christmas.

remember that time we learned clark kent is a grown man who still believes santa exists

He’s an alien and a superhero who knows other superheros in a world with a talking telepathic Gorilla, ofc he believes, anything is game.

Thats because Father Christmas/Santa Claus totally DOES exist in the DC universe, and  every year, without fail, Santa fights through Apokolips’ defenses just to give a lump of coal to Darkseid.

He W H A T

5:00: oh boy Chinese food

5:05: I ate way too much Chinese food

5:10: oh boy leftover Chinese food

I HATE THIS I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS

Goddammit

improvising is always funny, right

I’m really glad this took off because my dad almost peed his pants at dinner

Me: I love Smash! It’s such a fun PARTY game! :)

Competitive Smash Player Still Using a Gamecube Controller in 2018:

Listen I’m still pissed that Smash which started as a fun party brawling game got co-opted by a bunch of dick bag “git gud” assholes who literally took it and tried to turn it into every other fighting game out there.

I just wanna point out that all the “No items, stock only, no stage effects” crew all are complete trash at the game. They’re great at FIGHTING GAMES, but complete Garbage at Smash Bros. Because instead of trying to learn the game, learn to play around the items, learn which stages do what, they just turn it all off (when you first start the game all the items and stage effects are on and you can’t turn them off in any of the modes except multiplayer melee).

And then if you do wanna play with items they try to shame you and claim that you’re “ruining the game” or “cheating” because “you can’t win without using items.” Guess what asswipe the intention is to play with the items that’s why they’re their in the first place for free with the base game.

It’s not my fault you had to dumb down the game to succeed cause you don’t know how to use the fire flower or metal bunny ears correctly.

the disney gay dads triumvirate

Opposites attract dads, bond over show-tunes, their son, and avoiding near death situations

flaming (lol) bisexual Frenchman and uptight British guy who raise their bratty man-child ward and get so annoyed at each other they get married

college roommates that lived together so long it just sort of happened 

raise street urchins for no reason other than seeing them and being like ‘??? you don’t have a place to stay?? that’s fucked up, come home with us’

Pumba and Timon were my first otp. 6 year old me watched their cartoon show and was like 900% sure they were married.

bonus useless gay uncles

Professional Service Dog photo

credit

Headcanon that McGonagall is offended on a personal level that Umbridge loves cats. 

This literally got 600 more notes just while I was at dinner what the fuck

How has nobody thought about this before tbh

Ok but imagine McGonagall in cat form prowling around the castle, in strategically chosen places so that Umbridge will come across her. 

Umbridge takes the cat back to her office and feeds it a little saucer of milk. The cat starts coming back to Umbridge’s office around the same time every night, until eventually Umbridge gets into a little routine of setting out a saucer of milk for the cat before bed.  McGonagall now has all the best secrets on Umbridge, all of the results of the evaluations, and most importantly, is in a perfect position to spy on the ministry for the Order of the Phoenix. 

All because Umbridge is obsessed with cats.

The mental image McGonagall lapping up that milk while full of burning hatred for Umbridge amuses me in ways I can hardly describe.

Someone fire tumbridge please

TUMBRIDGE

I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it.