You two are now one, the darkness is past.

my ipad got borked, have an isaac i drew while getting used to my sister's wacom. he lost his hat, have you seen it???

if you search a tag on someone's blog on the mobile app it will show you only a selection of posts in an inscrutably random order but if you go to a mobile browser and type [blog url].tumblr.com/tagged/[tag] you will get all posts on that blog with that tag in reverse chronological order. if you add /chrono behind it you get them in regular chronological order. naturally this works in desktop browsers too but i know many people are mobile only these days and the app's built in tag search is shit so this knowledge is vital to your survival

Visitation

Transistor!

my mom got me this little thing and im obsessed with him.... little creature..

I have been thinking. about the creature

The pirate captain and the shark lady 💕

random, but I think the way people talk about abusers as hypercompetent, calculating manipulators that Know exactly what they're doing makes it easier for people to get into abusive relationships

The people who abused me prolly had no idea what the fuck they were doing. It was still bad! I still don't regret buggin out!! But I don't think they had a secret wall covered in red string linking notes like "How to fuck up this person specifically". Pretty sure they were in their own bubble the whole damn time, actually, and yeah, that does make it harder to recognize or get out of

This is one of several reasons it really bothers me to hear about “abusers” in the context of like…a distinct class of people, or an immutable identity. I feel like I see that a lot online, this idea that Abusers are uniquely bad people who can be neatly identified, ostracized, and avoided.

In my experience, many abusers are primarily trying to fool themselves. A lot of them have a deep need to see themselves as good people and so genuinely can't/won't face the reality of what they're doing to the other person. And I think that does have exactly that effect of people sticking around, because it seems so sincere that they believe they're in the right and that they have good qualities too and they really don't remember things the way they happened. It's not that they're not malicious, it's that they're working damn hard to not remember things right and to convince themselves that they're being reasonable. They warp their own minds as much as their victims'.

That and the malice being sort of semi-conscious to begin with - less "muahaha I will convince this person that they have to do all my chores for me" and more "I'm tired and I deserve to be treated well by the people I love so why can't you just do it this once", without any sense of proportion or acknowledgement that 'this once' is every time. It's more a refusal to face all the facts because they kind of already know that the facts are not in their favor, rather than a careful weighing of how best to manipulate the facts to hurt others. It's like the psychological version of an animal moving through a maze avoiding bad smells and moving toward good smells. Except the bad smells are any facts that don't feel nice and don't get them what they want, and the good smells are facts that feel great and get them what they want. It's automatic and instinctive, but also on purpose.

The difference between an abuser and a non-abusive thoughtless person is that the abuser will get irrationally furious with you if you point out that 'this once' is every time. Exactly because what you're attacking isn't just an accidental misconception, but a willful attempt at distorting their own reality and sense of self-importance to suit their own needs. My primary way of spotting an abuser is how mad they get when you point out what they're doing. A non-abuser might be a little defensive at first, but won't react like you're attacking the very core of their being. Because in a way you are doing that every time you say something that doesn't jive with the illusion an abuser is maintaining to themselves about who they are.

I think the idea of abusers being exceptionally cunning masterminds comes from a place of wanting to rightfully place blame on them for their own actions. The analysis that 'they just don't know what they're doing so we can't blame them' is way too common. The people who work professionally with abusers and their victims often seem to be justifiably sick of the "he's just a dumbass so you just have to learn to live with it" approach. Abusers are verifiably distinct from dumbasses in that they are doing the abuse On Purpose. And they're distinct from psychotic people in that they know deep down that what they're demanding of others is unreasonable. Those distinctions are really important in understanding and recognizing abuse.

So what we need is a way of talking about it where we acknowledge that abusers can both be stupid and incompetent at being malicious while still being malicious - and that they can be willfully unaware of what they're doing and so deep in their own kool-aid that they feel sincerely justified - but they're still doing what they're doing on purpose and can stop if they choose to, so we shouldn't give them a pass for 'not knowing any better'. Abusers are people who refuse to know any better even when others kindly and meticulously try to help them to. That and they won't just do it blindly no matter what happens as a result, but will adjust their approach so they always keep getting what they want even when circumstances and others' reactions change.

I feel like I’m exposing myself a little bit with this bc my introduction to fic is soo random I think, but whatever your answer please tell me the story! I wanna know haha

it’s kind of deeply depressing that there exists this entire vast subculture of progressive-learning 15-19 year olds online who are legitimately filled with anxiety over their media consumption diet and closely monitor themselves and others to make sure nothing they consume is Problematic™ lest they be ousted from their social circles. at the exact age where it’s actually good to have a varied media diet and be able to critically engage with harmful elements, too

straight up if you are high school or early university aged and you’re spending time feeling significant guilt and anxiety about what you choose to read or watch because of your online peers and shaping your media diet based on fear, you do not have to be around those peers anymore. there is a vast world outside this kind of person

IF THE ROUTINE NO LONGER SERVES, YOU MUST ALTER THE PATTERN, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? YOUR LIFE STARTS WITH YOU

Frank O'Hara, from "Mayakovsky"

So this was originally a response to this post:

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Which is about people wanting an AO3 app, but then it became large and way off topic, so here you go.

Nobody under the age of 20 knows how to use a computer or the internet. At all. They only know how to use apps. Their whole lives are in their phones or *maybe* a tablet/iPad if they're an artist. This is becoming a huge concern.

I'm a private tutor for middle- and high-school students, and since 2020 my business has been 100% virtual. Either the student's on a tablet, which comes with its own series of problems for screen-sharing and file access, or they're on mom's or dad's computer, and they have zero understanding of it.

They also don't know what the internet is, or even the absolute basics of how it works. You might not think that's an important thing to know, but stick with me.

Last week I accepted a new student. The first session is always about the tech -- I tell them this in advance, that they'll have to set up a few things, but once we're set up, we'll be good to go. They all say the same thing -- it won't be a problem because they're so "online" that they get technology easily.

I never laugh in their faces, but it's always a close thing. Because they are expecting an app. They are not expecting to be shown how little they actually know about tech.

I must say up front: this story is not an outlier. This is *every* student during their first session with me. Every single one. I go through this with each of them because most of them learn more, and more solidly, via discussion and discovery rather than direct instruction.

Once she logged in, I asked her to click on the icon for screen-sharing. I described the icon, then started with "Okay, move your mouse to the bottom right corner of the screen." She did the thing that those of us who are old enough to remember the beginnings of widespread home computers remember - picked up the mouse and moved it and then put it down. I explained she had to pull the mouse along the surface, and then click on the icon. She found this cumbersome. I asked if she was on a laptop or desktop computer. She didn't know what I meant. I asked if the computer screen was connected to the keyboard as one piece of machinery that you can open and close, or if there was a monitor - like a TV - and the keyboard was connected to another machine either by cord or by Bluetooth. Once we figured it out was a laptop, I asked her if she could use the touchpad, because it's similar (though not equivalent) to a phone screen in terms of touching clicking and dragging.

Once we got her using the touchpad, we tried screen-sharing again. We got it working, to an extent, but she was having trouble with... lots of things. I asked if she could email me a download or a photo of her homework instead, and we could both have a copy, and talk through it rather than put it on the screen, and we'd worry about learning more tech another day. She said she tried, but her email blocked her from sending anything to me.

This is because the only email address she has is for school, and she never uses email for any other purpose. I asked if her mom or dad could email it to me. They weren't home.

(Re: school email that blocks any emails not whitelisted by the school: that's great for kids as are all parental controls for young ones, but 16-year-olds really should be getting used to using an email that belongs to them, not an institution.)

I asked if the homework was on a paper handout, or in a book, or on the computer. She said it was on the computer. Great! I asked her where it was saved. She didn't know. I asked her to search for the name of the file. She said she already did that and now it was on her screen. Then, she said to me: "You can just search for it yourself - it's Chapter 5, page 11."

This is because homework is on the school's website, in her math class's homework section, which is where she searched. For her, that was "searching the internet."

Her concepts of "on my computer" "on the internet" or "on my school's website" are all the same thing. If something is displayed on the monitor, it's "on the internet" and "on my phone/tablet/computer" and "on the school's website."

She doesn't understand "upload" or "download," because she does her homework on the school's website and hits a "submit" button when she's done. I asked her how she shares photos and stuff with friends; she said she posts to Snapchat or TikTok, or she AirDrops. (She said she sometimes uses Insta, though she said Insta is more "for old people"). So in her world, there's a button for "post" or "share," and that's how you put things on "the internet".

She doesn't know how it works. None of it. And she doesn't know how to use it, either.

Also, none of them can type. Not a one. They don't want to learn how, because "everything is on my phone."

And you know, maybe that's where we're headed. Maybe one day, everything will be on "my phone" and computers as we know them will be a thing of the past. But for the time being, they're not. Students need to learn how to use computers. They need to learn how to type. No one is telling them this, because people think teenagers are "digital natives." And to an extent, they are, but the definition of that has changed radically in the last 20-30 years. Today it means "everything is on my phone."

we stopped having computer classes because 'everyone knows how to use a computer' and then we suddenly fucking didn't

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

scientist when you don't take the medicine they developed to help your pain

As long as you are taking a SAFE dose of it, then it's *good* for you. Pain is bad for the body. The inflammation from prolonged pain can worsen chronic issues and make it harder to heal.

Ibuprofen is best for pain that has inflammation, while acetaminophen doesn't help with inflammation but is more broadly effective on other types of pain. As long as you are taking the recommended dose, you can even take them TOGETHER, since they have different mechanisms of action.

You do need to be aware of how much and how often you are taking any pain medication. Overdoses can be very painful (even lethal.) And if you are in chronic pain often enough that you need more than the safe dose, then you need to look into other medications to manage that pain.

(Also, if you are specifically taking Acetaminophen/Tylenol for your go-to pain management, getting some NAC and taking that with it reduces the risk of overdose AND may strengthen the effect.)

One other thing: NSAIDS (ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen being the three big ones) can cause digestive issues with chronic use, including stomach ulcers. That doesn't mean "don't take them," it means "if you're at the point where you're on them all the time, every day, constantly, you should talk to a doctor about either reducing that risk or switching to another medication that doesn't have those side effects."

Please see The Little Mermaid (2023), this was exactly Eric and Ariel’s dynamic and I am NOT joking

i love the "i love emilia" meme because i too love emilia........