Rooftop Views

just found out i've been abandoned by god which means he's not watching anything i do anymore. you should come over.

My friend sometimes brings her six-year-old to our DnD sessions and my husband (the DM) lets her roll for all enemy attacks and sometimes he will show her a few figures and let her secretly pick what creature we meet next. Who needs encounter tables when you have a first-grader around

She cheers when the monster is winning.

DM: *places an ugly, slavering, repugnant, spine-tingling creature on the battle map*

Child who can barely see over the table: ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ᵐᵉ :)

Nap dates? Nap dates anyone? I promise we can fuck between naps.

oopsie! You got a bit too manic about a creative project too close to bedtime and now your brain is too awake to sleep. One million dead 10 morbillion injured

Also you haven't actually worked on the project, to be clear

the way being employed keeps you from video games and other various activities is so sick. genuinely demonic

“oh just do it when you come home” i am dead. “oh just do it on your days off” i am bearing with getting reanimated. after being dead throughout the week.

babygirl i sit hunched in ways you’d never fuckin believe

@unprofessionalcat

physical touch isn’t just about sex and kissing as a love language it's more like handholding, laying your head on their lap, putting your legs over their lap, tracing their veins, tucking your feet under their thighs. just touching for touching's sake

In Mario Party 4′s Present Room, Shy Guy remarks that on Waluigi’s calendar, “every day is Sunday”. However, if you zoom in really close, you’ll see that Shy Guy is actually lying.

that son of a bitch

Anyway if you see this you have to reblog and tag with a delight from ur day -- even the littlest thing counts

Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

saw that kermit post on instagram and i knew exactly what i needed to do

Maysia 2: new year

i let them hit because they were honest about their intentions and created a healthy, open line of communication between us that made me feel safe and secure enough to let them see me in one of my most vulnerable states

snail collection. which one’s your fav? 🐌