Okay, take a seat cause is about to go down
I was ready to start organizing my week when i got the notification for this. Did i just drop everything to read it? Of course. Was it a good decision? Yes and no. Was it good? THIS IS OLIVIA’S WORK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT, HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT?!?!
It ruined me, but let’s move on
Kid being all nervous got me nervous, idk, Liv has that power. And the more she thought about her feelings, about not feeling wanted, like a burden, i was like
Are you spying on me, Liv? Have you been talking to my therapist? What is going on??
Then Yoongi was like: “You’re leaving?”
Listen, this man could get anything he wants from me, just by making that face. I would give him anything and everything. Take it, is yours.
The Kid’s anxiety showed up to the party and my own anxiety just came as my plus one, i guess, cause again, Liv has that kind of power. But hear me out, what absolutely BROKE ME was Kid trying to convince herself that she doesn’t need him, that she’ll be fine without him, cause she is so sure he won’t show up. The way she is getting ready to be hurt, putting all these walls up, that hits a little close to me.
THEN THE TENSION OMG THE TENSION
The way Kid was dying to let out all that anger... i don’t really blame her, she was suffering long before he got there, cause lets be real, anxiety has that power over you.
Then the text and Kid was like
It was kinda funny, but i was just to nervous to laugh.
When he said “Kid, please talk to me.” i just started screaming.
TALK TO HIM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST TALK TO HIM
“I had to work up the courage to even ask you to spend time with me tonight and it’s not a good feeling for you to act like you’re being burdened by being here,”
“I’m not burdened by being here, and I’m not burdened by you. Ever. I want to be here, I love you,” he told you sadly.
This right here is whats kills me about Yoongi, the way he’s always terrified at the mere thought of hurting Kid. Always so careful, always apologizing, always making amends, like everything is his fault, cause it must be, right? Is always him.
God, i wanna hug him... why does he feels like this?
“Jesus christ, Kid.” Siri, why do i feel like dying everytime Yoongi says that?
“Why are you even still here? Now you want to stay and fight?”
The fact that i knew EXACTLY what she was talking about, cause i was reading that story yesterday. Why?
“You haven’t always been the type to stick it out and fight for me, that’s all,”
KID FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP
“It sounds like you’re hurt, Kid,” I AM, SIR, I AM VERY MUCH HURT BY ALL THIS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
“you don’t have the power over me to hurt me, especially over something that happened almost a year ago” OH THE LIES
The Kid was just trying to understand the rollercoaster of emotions she was feeling like...
“why is he still here? why he still loves me? is this real life?”
I could relate to Kid so much in this, it was painful.
And the way Yoongi was hurting... i can’t. I don’t know how to deal with all of this.
And then he said “My love for you isn’t conditional,” and i just DIED.
I don’t know what to do with all of this, all i know this is one of the best stories you have ever written, Liv. Angst suits you.
I know this is one of your stories that i’ll read over and over, forever. The one i’ll always go back to when i need it. You really killed this, bestie.
There’s a beautiful brazilian expression that says “um tiro doeria menos” and i think it is perfect for this.
Love you, bestie. Can’t wait for the next one <3
P.S.: Sorry for any mistakes, the tears make it really difficult to write in another language.