Turning to dust...

killer-boredom:

thesmileclown:

Things seemed to be going pretty smoothly, so Sam figured it’d be a good time to do a lap, check on everyone and see how they were doing. Or maybe he just wanted to check on Dandy. He was enthusiastic, sure, but Sam’s intuition was telling him that Dandy wasn’t quite cut out for the actual work. And speaking of, the kid seemed more than a little deflated at the Clown approached him. “How ya doin’, kiddo?” he asked, leaning against the booth with his hands pressed flat against the hard surface. “You’re lookin’ a bit flushed. Ya wanna take a break?”

“I’m alright. Just a little hot, is all,” he didn’t want to complain too much and shake Sam’s already dubious faith in him. Despite his false positivity, it was clear he didn’t think much of Dandy’s talent or ambitions. Dandy wasn’t sure if his tired state was amplifying the effect or not but the clown was sure looming over him, an effect that was suitably intimidating when he was in full makeup, facial features exaggerated by paint. “I am doing it wrong? I don’t understand how they can just walk past without acknowledging me.”

“I could always get ya water or something,” he offered, though he knew that more often than not Dandy would be inclined to be stubborn about any offering of help. Which maybe have been why Sam was so surprised by his friend’s next question. Was he asking for legitimate advice? Sam paused for a moment, not wanting to waste the opportunity by saying something unhelpful or too discouraging. “It kinda goes with the business. There are gonna be people who ignore ya, but…ya can’t let them, you know? Engage them. Compliments are good, but…sometimes ya gotta hook ‘em another way. Challenge them. Over hype. Also, no matter how tired y’are, you gotta be puttin’ on the ritz.”

#*sarcastic jazz hands*#carnival!verse #dandy in a perpetual state of ‘him big’#Dandy is a delicate wilting flower #thesmileclown

Dandy was feeling his heart rate begin to return to normal, following the sudden proximity of his very large boss to his undoubtably weary face. He began to shake his head ‘no’ but changed his mind. “Some water would be nice,” he replied against his better judgment, fearing Sam would think him weak, “Thank you.” He began to fan his face with his hand. A childhood spent mostly indoors had ill-prepared him for spending days in the hot Florida sun. He swore he was minutes from unconsciousness. “Challenge them? You mean insult them? I have heard other barkers do that...” He mused. He put out his arms in a limp attempt at jazz hands. “I seem to be lacking in the ‘dazzle’ today, however. How do you do it?” The last bit came out a bit more plaintive than he’d like. It seemed like the giant was always chipper, no matter how hot or wet or long the day.

killer-boredom reblogged

The Tiger Lillies - “Killer”

I coulda been a killer!! A HAHA HAAA!!!!

#Lullabies(Soundtrack)

killer-boredom reblogged

killer-boredom asked:

“You could crush my head with your thighs and I would thank you for it.”

thesmileclown answered:

“Is…is that a thing people like?” Sam asked, more than a little bit perplexed. It wasn’t often, but every now and again Dandy would come up with some phrase he hadn’t heard before, and god, it made him feel old. “I mean…I guess I know people like everything. Death by leg seems kinda final though…”

#Thesmileclown #Twandy #Sam hasn’t even mastered ‘slay’ yet and here Dandy is confusing the poor bear

“Well, the death is more metaphorical...your thighs look powerful and by extension, so do you. Like, dom vibes,” Dandy offered weakly as he tried to reason out an explanation for his adorably confused boyfriend. “I feel like the pressure and the warmth could be quite nice against my face, though, if you’re down.”

killer-boredom reblogged

loversvamp

sir that’s my emotional support clown

#Dandy af(crack)#Twandy

killer-boredom reblogged

killer-boredom asked:

🎅 “You look kinda sexy with that Santa hat on.”

thesmileclown answered:

Sam shook his head, an almost embarrassed smile on his face as he pushed the cap’s white pompom away from his nose. “Aww…you probably say that to every fat guy in a red hat,” he teased, though it was becoming increasingly apparent that the red wasn’t just on the hat but also playing across his cheeks. He’d been trying to get more into the holiday spirit, so he’d thought the hat was a good place to start. Dandy had been the one to suggest the plaid briefs and the candy cane striped socks. Sam had felt a bit ridiculous when he’d looked at himself in the mirror, but his boyfriend did seem genuinely enthusiastic about the uh…ensemble. “Eh…” he continued, looking at himself in the mirror again. “Alright, maybe I’m a little cute. Like…a smidge cute. A smidgen…how big’s a smidgen anyway?”

#thesmileclown #merry crisis #i love crimmus

“Only the ones that are my boyfriend,” Dandy grinned, pleased with how Sam seemed to be feeling himself. The adorable flush to his face only emphasized his similarity to Santa and Dandy was quite endeared by the overall picture. He looked domestic, comfortable, relaxed and, dare he say it, jolly. Dandy was delighted that they could finally spend the holidays together and he was planning on making it as merry as possible.

“A smidgen has to be at least you-sized, if you’re a smidge cute,” Dandy replied smoothly.

He reached up his hands to adjust the hat, giving it a rakish angle before giving Sam a gentle ‘boop’ on his nose.

“You really do look cute all festive and decked out. I would totally sit on your lap.”

killer-boredom reblogged

His arms were bothering for some reason or another. The little lines etched all over his forearms was making him anxious and tired and confused, like the world was spinning to quickly. It was an itching sensation, but surely they wouldn’t itch anymore after all this time. Huffing, the man picked at the scars and shoot his head. Maybe…maybe he needs to new medication. Maybe he was just tired. Whatever it was, he felt ill and gloomy, and his tongue felt thick with the words that refused to come out of his mouth.

#; In a world of locked rooms(asylum!verse)#thesmileclown

“Sam?” Dandy moved closer to the older man, recognizing a faraway look in his eyes which was (sadly) not wholly unfamiliar to him. He wasn’t speaking again, not abnormal, but Dandy was concerned with his agitated state. Sam had never told him what happened to him exactly, but the story certainly suggested itself, with the dark looks Sam would give his arms. Nevertheless, Dandy didn’t like this mood. It couldn’t be good for him to, er, fixate. He put his hand on the other man’s shoulder, applying gentle pressure as if to rouse him.

killer-boredom reblogged

Open-Asylum AU

“I don’t like confined spaces!” His voice cracked in a most embarrassing fashion as he pounded on the bars in desperation. “I don’t belong here and if you don’t let me out, I’ll sue you for everything this dump is worth!”

“It’s not that bad,” Grace spoke up from a neighboring cell. “Cigarette?” she offered.

#oh hewwo #just-wanted-to-be-free #in a world of locked rooms: asylum!verse

Dandy didn’t smoke.

“Thank you,” he replied in the most gregarious voice he could manage, his genteel upbringing taking over. He took the proferred cigarette, hoping that he was holding it correctly. “I suppose you’re going to say that being trapped like a rat grows on you?”

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killer-boredom‌:

“I’m sure that’s not the only thought you’ve had about my ass,” Dandy teased, sticking his tongue out. “It must be rough for you, having to look at such perfection all day.” The idea of Sam taking him in such a manner was far too distracting to linger on. But he wasn’t about to let Sam know that. He didn’t even know if the older man was queer, so these ‘jokes’ were more of a risk than he would let himself acknowledge. Playing the dumb fop was more easily dismissed. “What do you mean? Just because I appreciate a good color story doesn’t mean I can’t also have, like, depth or whatever.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed, trying to parse through what Dandy was getting at. Well, there was the obvious meaning, but Sam had a feeling there might have been something else to it. Maybe a stupidly hopeful part of him hoped that there was, but for now, he just wrinkled his nose. “Oh yeah, sure…” he replied dryly, trying not to sound enthused despite a few guilty thoughts he kept for himself. “I just want to go to town on you on these newly installed counters…oh yeah, butt prints are very in this year.” Sam eyed Dandy carefully, perhaps looking for some kind of tell. “Eh…you just don’t seem the deep type. But it’s alright. They didn’t hire you for your depth.”

#hgtv!verse #thesmileclown #you’d think Dandy had a fetish for getting your fist in his face #oh wait

Dandy snorted, despite himself. Sam’s wry sense of humor had a habit of hitting him just the right way. He bit his lip, trying not to convey the fact that the picture Sam was painting was very appealing him indeed. “These cheap counters would only benefit from the addition of my ass print. I could even do a series. Preserved in enamel, dated and numbered...we could even make a matching set.”

His playfullness ebbed, however, when he caught the rest of Sam’s words.

“Hey, I resent that! I’ll have you know that I have plenty of depth. So I play a shallow prettyboy on TV. And? You’re the resident alchemist of impenetrable materials, so why should I assume you’re less dense than any of them?

killer-boredom reblogged

Sam paused, pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth and wrinkling his nose a moment as he thought. Not because he didn’t know the answer to the question but more because of the question itself. They didn’t often ask each other personal questions, so this felt more than a little from left field. “Nah, never,” the man replied, leaning against the newly installed kitchen counters. “Why? Not gettin’ any ideas now are ya, kiddo?”

Dandy rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, I’m hoping you’ll take me right atop the polished granite for the whole set to see. Hope they get it on camera.” He licked his lips salaciously for effect. It would be a little more complicated to explain why exactly he did want to know. That he was curious about Sam as, like, a person or something. Eww. Gross. “Just testing a theory, is all. You seem like a pretty conservative guy. I had to wonder if the wholesomness was a front and you were really a secret freak or something like that.”

“Wise-ass,” Sam retorted dryly, not ready to give Dandy a pass on being…well, just being weird. He also wasn’t ready to mention that for a fleeting moment that thought had crossed his mind, but there was something satisfying in knowing Dandy had thought it too. Even if just as a joke. “I’m plenty wholesome,” he continued, pushing himself up a bit to rest on hand flat against the counter. “But I’m not so sure about conservative…eh, I’m sure ya don’t care much about that. I’ve only ever seen you care about wall colors and uh…what do you call it…your aesthetic vision or whatever.”