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Crying into my cheeky Nando's

@partywithponies / partywithponies.tumblr.com

Hi it's me, nefarious queer supervillain (terf assigned) Tash PartyWithPonies. Call me whatever pronouns you want at this point. I like to keep the haters guessing. I'm from that there London and I like bastard men, unhinged women, and really weird media with themes of death. I've been on tumblr dot com way too long and I'm honestly just here for a laugh. Oh, and I still love you. Yes, you. You're still beautiful. I'm still here.

Green eyes shouldnโ€™t actually be considered an eye color. Itโ€™s just not common enough, itโ€™s a VERY SMALL percentage of the population, 1-2%. Green eyes are also caused by an irregular mutation. Most people have blue or brown eyes, so those are the two eye colors.

All the โ€œgreen eyesโ€ positivity is actually a bad thing, by the way. Having green eyes is linked to higher rates of retinal melanoma. Youโ€™re celebrating something dangerous that can cause suffering.

And besides, most people with โ€œgreen eyesโ€ lean closer to blue or brown anyways. They should just make up their minds and be brown eyed or blue eyed. And if itโ€™s too hard to tell, they should get corrective surgery (because green eyes are dangerous, and associated with more difficult medical care!) or at the least wear contacts so they donโ€™t confuse people. But also they should be required to

I hate to sound like this, but green eyes are a far more recent development than blue eyes in the mutagenic history of humans. So humans werenโ€™t created to have green eyes.

And hazel eyes? Those are just a variant of brown eyesโ€”come on, theyโ€™re far closer to brown than green. They just have a couple greenish traits. And thereโ€™s no way thereโ€™s that many green eyed people, or a wide variety of eye colorsโ€ฆ Itโ€™s just not natural.

I donโ€™t have a problem with green eyed people, they didnโ€™t ask to be born that wayโ€”but thereโ€™s just too few of them for it to be an actual eye color. We donโ€™t need all this โ€œgreen eye positivityโ€ or putting green eyes in media. The internet is making people delude themselves into thinking itโ€™s more common than it really is.

โ€ผ๏ธ THIS POST IS ABOUT THE TREATMENT OF INTERSEX PEOPLE โ€ผ๏ธ

โœ… I HAVE GREEN EYES THIS IS SATIRE โœ…

โš ๏ธ PLEASE DONโ€™T SEND ME ANY MORE THREATS OF VIOLENCE IN DEFENSE OF PEOPLE WITH GREEN EYES?? โš ๏ธ

๐Ÿ’ง THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT EYE COLOR?? ITโ€™S ABOUT INTERSEXISM AND BIGOTRY ๐Ÿ’ง

To reduce my screen time, I have weaponised my overactive and entirely impractical levels of empathy for inanimate objects. Wym youโ€™re picking it up again? While it was sleeping? You complete and utter monster, let it rest!!

And it works. It works like a CHARM. Silly problems require silly solutions!

[ID: a phone tucked in very cozy in a perfectly fitting wooden doll-size canopy bed with floral motifs. it has a little dishtowel as a blanket /End ID]

Every time someone talks about tumblr in the past tense, a tumblrina drops down dead, unless every freak and weirdo in the world claps their hands and believes โœจ๏ธ

Do me a favour and reblog this with a show you like that was cancelled after only one season. I don't mean shows that were always meant to be miniseries or shows that work perfectly well as a standalone story, or shows that might still get renewed. I mean shows that are and will forever remain unfinished. The more obscure the better.

Do me a favour and reblog this with a show you like that was cancelled after only one season. I don't mean shows that were always meant to be miniseries or shows that work perfectly well as a standalone story, or shows that might still get renewed. I mean shows that are and will forever remain unfinished. The more obscure the better.

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