"Hey Eeyore, where's the perky psycho?"

distressing things to say to your friends

self checkout is everything to me. who wrote this

dilf wesker supremacy

My brother wouldn't share a book with me, so I turned into a ghost and followed him around.

My last words were 'fuck you'.

They wrote this like it was a real person

sleep is so nice like…girl…bye

~

I think cirque du soleil developed a super-human serum and just didn’t tell anyone…

You know that post that went around a few years ago about Miles Morales becoming a blatantly obvious super human ballerina because he has no understanding what a normal human is capable of?

The forbidden back massage

i can delete the tiktok app now. the algorithm will never understand me more than in this moment.

only one in three million tiktoks are this worth watching

it’s nuts that the way you meet people that will be in your life for a long time can be so circumstantial and random like if i hadn’t bumped into you that one time you just wouldn’t have been in my life for years to come. unreal that connections can come from anywhere and any accidental happenstance can change your life for the better

okay okay this is the last one lmao byee

unforgivable

How to make a perfect star

body parts that need regular moisturising are literally so fucking stupid like. my brother in christ we’re 60% water