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Quite simply the worst man alive.

@misterculexus / misterculexus.tumblr.com

Art and shit. I did that stuff.
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reblogged
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fayethffxiv

I had the good fortune to be able to ask the ever-clever brain behind @boktheneutral / @asktheraggededges to take a crack at what Fayeth might be like in his super-cool homebrew setting of the Garlands universe. I'd encourage you to check it out!

Turns out, Fayeth remains Fayeth. And no, those cinnamon rolls aren't free, but the recipe is secret for a reason, and you won't regret the cost. And the expression? Well. You knew to expect that when you rolled in to drag her away from her bakery, didn't you? Especially *some* of you.

...You'd better at least finish your tea before you ask. It's only polite.

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Each goblin den, subterranean or otherwise has, at the top of its food chain, a "Sheba". The Sheba takes and holds her position either by force or by negotiated demonstration of a superior business model. Sometimes both. A Sheba needs people behind them. They should have combat prowess, business acumen, smarts, ruthlessness and ideally, wide hips. All these things will ensure the den's ongoing success. Once a Sheba is in place, she selects between three and eight "Sheiks". A sheik must be useful for the business, able to protect his Sheba in the unlikely event she needs it and have ample stamina. The children (or 'goblets') the Sheba births from her many husbands are considered the most likely candidates to succeed as Sheba. There are all types of Sheba in this world. Some act as frontline commanders, others never leave their bedchamber and live out their days in luxury, only leading their den by proxy.

The most common image conjured up by people is that of an elegantly dressed, full figured goblin, clad in decorative coins. Taller and stronger than those around her. Well spoken and diplomatic but with wary, calculating eyes.

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Destroy a Liberal/National/United Australia Party/One Nation poster if you can get away with it. That’s it. No more nuanced long paragraphs about the ideology of conservatism and its structural harm to society to try and convince people to stop rationalising and normalising conservative/right wing bullshit. Just go and tear some corflute signs out of the ground so long as you’re sure you won’t get caught. Just fuck up their advertising budget like they fucked up our lives.

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Goblin File: Highball Nepermuk

An urbanised chunk of the untamed wilds. Highball has spent her life running, stealing and fighting. Thinking she had found love. Believing she had found success and almost always being wrong. Trying to make friends but never completely trusting people. Wanting to belong, but needing her own space when things go wrong. Peerless as a thief. Tenderness itself with her friends. A blender on legs to her enemies. Loyal to the end with those who earn it.

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Hey its been quiet on the Culexus front. How have you been?

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Ah, same as most people I suppose. Been a rough couple of years. The bits that have been good have still been busy. I feel like I'm approaching something like solid ground but we will see.

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As a Scot it's a real joy to see both Clootie and Cranachan among your gobbos' food based names. Any particular reason for that naming theme?

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Not extra specially. In general Goblins have food names but not like soft, cute food names like Vanilla or Mille-fille like a normal moe girl. The food doesn't have to be necessarily gross or anything, but odd. Perhaps an acquired taste. At the very least not moe.

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