Prepare For Unforseen Consequences

Stealing this shit because it's true

sticking his finger fully into his hot coffee just to feel something

Trad man got the Tie Seatbelt and the Cue Ball Gear Shift That Doesn't Move

A couple of overdue New Year’s things! I feel like we all could use a Lazarus Pit to resurrect our desiccated bodies and souls left from 2020…I know I could. Here’s to hoping 2021 will be better.

I think what’s wrong with a lot of people is theyr not eating breakfast. They’re starting the day with at most 16ounces of milk with espresso and riding on that until lunch time. What they don’t understand is eating breakfast helps absorb all the excess yellow bile that builds up overnight when they sleep and makes them angry. It’s basic humor balancing

Speaking of willows. There's a species of willow. Salix herbacea. Known as the Dwarf Willow. And this thing. IT ONLY GROWS 1-6 CENTIMETERS TALL. IT'S KNOWN AS "ONE OF THE SMALLEST WOODY PLANTS" BECAUSE ITS A TREE THAT DECIDED TO BE 1 CENTIMETER HEIGHT

just look at it. incredible

It lives waaaay up in the Arctic. There's actually a bunch of willows that evolved to be tiny in the Arctic regions. but this one is the most tiny

Moving house tomorrow

Be careful, I've heard they're heavy

Not mine, mine is a

we should all listen to Secret Messages by ELO and hang out in a tree fort

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

don’t!!! bury!!!! your!!!! interests!!! to!!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

don’t!!! go!!! wasting!!! your!!! emotion!!! lay!!! all!!! your!!! love!!! on!!! me!!!

i thought this was a hospital drama why does he have a shotgun?!??!?

It’s a really, really good hospital drama

I’m so glad I turned on the Audio bc it turns out this is set to Boney M’s Rasputin and is basically perfectly synced

polls are the most eye opening part of tumblr bc this whole time all the posts are like fuck yeah gay sex crime stealing steal from Walmart get high and eat pussy but every poll is like I will remain celibate as long as I live . Why are u all lying about eating pussy and smoking weed

Despite it being an uphill battle “Avengers Endgame” has already outgrossed the box office total 2002’s sci-fi classic “The Adventures of Pluto Nash” by $2,265,606,419 (as of May 9th 2019).