sorry I love this painfully mid media so much I could throw up

@sandwyrm

this is insane

Every part of this car sounds like this project we did in 6th grade to design a car. And this company's cars already has a kill count.

my son Otto Mobile who has every disease

Hey

The fuck is a frunk

i somehow found my way to the “what did the drunkest person at the party last night do?” thread

The sky last night....

5 simple exercises to awaken dormant muscles

{source}

I appreciate this video a lot--people don't realize how important it is to start slow if you're trying to come back from a completely sedentary lifestyle, and they get really hurt as a result. Straining your muscles too much, too suddenly can land you in the E.R. and the wrong joint injury can permanently affect your mobility, so please start with absolute basics and easy stretches!

imagination (1963) - harold ordway rugg

"chekhovs cat / schrödingers razor / occams gun"

Chekov's Cat: if you see a cat in the first act, it will probably be relevant later. (example: Alien)

Shrodinger's razor: an unopened box may or may not contain the solution to the story; there's no way to know without opening it. (example: Monk)

Occam's gun: the simplest way to kill off a character is to shoot them. (example: Bambi)

i have been cracking up at this for the past 3 minutes

Chekov's Box: If there is a container introduced in the opening act, it will be opened later.

Schrodinger's Gun: Treat every gun as if it's loaded unless you've checked it yourself.

Occam's Cat: If you hear strange noises at night, it's probably a cat.

Occam’s Cat: If you

hear strange noises at night, it’s

probably a cat.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

humans forever will love funny little horses. love and peace and ponies runs in our blood

The Beast that Bothers

Spectrum of overwhelm, now in triangle form due to popular demand

We have to keep reblogging this so future historians will read it and puzzle endlessly over its meaning

The heavy implication that historical ‘abstract’ poetry that people have been analysing for ages without being able to conclude the meaning could have just been shitpost level in-jokes between poets is sending me.

i love having adult horse girl friends. I’ll send them a 100x100px crunchy ass jpeg of a random brown horse and be like “thought of u🐴” and I can literally feel their sims relationship bar fill up in real time

Rly felt compelled to capture this before bed

does anybody remember fun. Nobody even remembers fun. anymore, give me a second I— I need to get my story straight my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state my lover she's waiting for me just across the bar my seats been taken by some sun glasses asking bout a scar but I know I gave it to you months ago I know you're trying to forget but between the drinks and subtle things the holes in my apologies you know I'm trying hard to take it back so if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down I'll carry you home

TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT WE ARE YOUUUUUUNNG SO I SET THE WORLD ON FIIIIIIIRE WE CAN BURN BRIGHTEEEEEER THAN THE SUUUUUUUUUUUN

telling a joke on tumblr is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have never once heard a joke in their life.

"why would you say that" because it was funny. "but that isn't true" it's the funniest way to express that sentiment. "why would you do that" because it's a joke.

you guys would never believe what's happening to this post

one time in minecraft i built myself a secret underground base because i was experimenting with redstone, i built a lighting system of redstone lamps, as well as an emergency self-destruct feature

i put the light switch and the self-destruct switch next to each other

can you guess what happened next?

Yep

My average writing experience:

"Alright I think I'm almost done actually-"

*Google doc grows second health bar and a choir starts singing in latin*