oh, okay, trash the trashmouth!

@trashthemouth / trashthemouth.tumblr.com

independent, private, & selective richie tozier.written by alix.
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restedache-a

AND NOW, WE WILL HEAR THE GROOMS EXCHANGE VOWS.  

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‘     i  don’t  really  know  how  to  fucking  START  these   -    hysterical  considering  neither  of  us  shut  up  during  any  other  part  of  our  lives  -   but  i  figured     I  LOVE  YOU    would  be  good  enough.  so  yeah,    i  love  you.  

we  have  always  been  two  stupid,  fucked  up  kids  who  were  over  compensating  for  literally  everything.     we  were  the  embodiment  of  pigtail  pulling,  closeted  dickwads.   and  god,   we  were  so  fucking  ANNOYING. (   you  more  than  me.   )    it’s  a  miracle  stanley  didn’t  kill  us  when  we  were  kids.  but  even  if  we  consistently  joked  about  our  dicks  in  each  other’s  moms,   i  still  always  bought  TWO  ice  creams  at  the  shop;   NEVER  ONE.   you’d  think  it  wouldn’t  have  taken  me  TWENTY  SEVEN  years  to  realize  i’m  gay  for  you,   MUCH  LESS  JUST  GAY  FLAT  OUT,   but  that   time  was  taken  away  from  me.   from  US.   

…      I  HAVE  KNOWN  YOU  ..  MY  ENTIRE  LIFE.    even  when   i   FORGOT  you,   i  always  knew   you.   your  horrendous  comedy  specials  always  weirdly  felt  familiar  in  the  way  you  could  never  forget  the  annoying  kid  with  ADHD  and  big  fucking  glasses  who  sat  behind  you  in  middle  school  pre-algebra.   BUT  I  DID   -    we  all  did.   and  i’ve  never  been  more  grateful  to  get  fucking  stabbed  in  the  face  if  it  meant  that  i  could  find  you  again.

…    i  didn’t  think  i  could  love  like  this,   deep  down.   i  thought  love  was  just  toxic  and  …   suffocating,   that  someone  had  to  control  me  for  it  to  be  real  love.   but  you  changed  that.    i  didn’t  know  that  a  screaming  match  could  be  fun  until  you  started  laughing  at  me  when  i  bitched  at  you  for  doing  the  dishes  wrong.   YOU’VE  NEVER  TREATED  ME  LIKE  I’M  FRAGILE.    or  like  some  sick  boy  you  weren’t  allowed  to  be  around…   to  afraid  to  be  dirty.   you  treated  me  like  me.   …   you  always  say  that  i’m  the  brave  one,  but  you’re  the  one  who  risked  his  dick  inside  of  my mother,  so  i  think  you’re  decent  competition.     ….     no,   really.     YOU   MAKE  ME  BRAVE  BY  GIVING  ME  SOMETHING  WORTH  BEING  BRAVE  FOR.   and  i  will  be  brave  for  you  every  day,  for  the  rest  of  my  life.  

i’m  so  fucking  in  love  with  you,  and  i  know  you’re  a  blubbering  mess  now,  and  i’m  really  fucking  ready  to  kiss  you,   so  i’ll  end  it  there.     ‘    

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AND NOW, WE WILL HEAR THE GROOMS EXCHANGE VOWS. 

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     ‘‘ anyone who knows me, even a little bit, knows the summer of 1989 was one of the worst fucking times of my life.  it sucked for a lot of reasons that i don’t need to get into right now – that’s what i have a therapist for!  but one of them is that i didn’t get to be with you for over a month.  before that, i hadn’t gone longer than a week without seeing you since we were 8.  and it was just … fucking awful.  because i was in love with you.  13 years old and i’d fallen so fucking hard for the neurotic little shit i called my best friend – sorry, stan – that i felt like i was going to explode.  so i did something stupid.  and kinda brave.     

     i carved our initials on the kissing bridge.  R + E.  right there for anyone in our shitty hometown to see … i mean, no one knew.  of course not!  i would’ve shit my pants and booked it if someone showed up while i was doing it … but they were there.  still are, because the last thing i did before leaving derry the second time was refresh ‘em.  and i never told you about it when we were kids.  took me months to tell you when we were adults.  didn’t think i ever would.  

     and there’s a few things i want you to know.  some of them you already do, but they’re worth repeating.     

     i loved you then.  and i loved you 5 years ago.  AND I LOVE YOU NOW.  and i’m going to love you when we’re 70 years old and you’ve gone gray and i’m back to lenses that make me look like an alien from the wrong angle.  i’ll even love you in twenty minutes when you’re yelling at me to stand still so adam can get at least one good fucking photo.  and it won’t be hard because LOVING YOU IS THE EASIEST THING I’VE EVER DONE.  it’s like breathing.  i don’t even have to think about it.     

     and there are so many reasons i love you.  there’s even more reasons why i’m in love with you.  i won’t try and list ‘em all.  we’d be here for fucking years if i did.  so i’ll just go with the most important one.     

     i’m in love with you because you see me.  YOU’VE ALWAYS SEEN ME.  even the parts of myself i tried so goddamn hard to hide.  there have been times when i’ve wanted to run away because being known like that is terrifying.  but it’s fucking exhilarating too.       

     so thank you, eds.  i fucking love you.  more than i know what to do with. ’’

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jigsawmemes
𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.   part 2 !    a collection of one - liners taken from our discord server’s pinned messages.   slightly edited for clarity.   change pronouns as necessary.  tw for nsfw  +  mommy kink.      pt 1.

❛  just a pinch of trauma !  ❜ ❛  it’s like poetry   …   GAY .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  stop stalking me .  ❜ ❛  i hate children except when i don’t .  ❜ ❛  legally ,   i’m appalled ,   but superficially ,   i’m impressed .  ❜ ❛  god we love to just be a number in the system .  ❜ ❛  i’m gay .  ❜ ❛  stop pushing this heterosexual agenda on me .  ❜ ❛  my favorite romcom is sonic the hedgehog  ( 2020 ) .  ❜ ❛  dumbass just got HIMSELF .  ❜ ❛  oh ,   hi mommy .  ❜ ❛  why is my existential supernatural religious horror so cute ?!  ❜ ❛  anyone who has willingly seen every saw movie is more capable of murder than the average person .  ❜ ❛  COMMUNICATE ,   FUCKER !  ❜ ❛  wow ,  you breathed !   i love you !  ❜ ❛  he’s an old man ,   he doesn’t understand technology .   ❜ ❛  you’re the only people who appreciate me for what i am :   a fucking clown .  ❜ ❛  I BARELY FUCKING GRASPED THE PLOT OF THE SHOW !  ❜ ❛  the clowning itself is not the problem .  ❜ ❛  noted :   will not clown again .  ❜ ❛  that’s a waste of a  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  i woke up forgetting  [ name ]  fucked a greek god last night .  ❜ ❛  what i would give to be  [ name ]  .   ❜ ❛  you can’t hide that shit from me .   i sniff out gays like a fucking hound dog .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  wants to break him in a good way .  ❜ ❛  i hope  [ name ]  actually gagged him .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  killed a man .  ❜ ❛  he’s a literal real life mr. krabs .  ❜ ❛  you’re always on your bullshit ,   and i love you for it .  ❜ ❛  let  [ name ]  fuck a man !  ❜ ❛  [ ship name ]  be fucking .  ❜ ❛  FUCK TWEEN YOGA ,  i’m listening to it !  ❜ ❛  i’m never doing meisner with you .  ❜ ❛  if i get to see  [ name ]  have sex with a man …  ❜ ❛  you need a lot of patience to deal with that family ,  which  [ name ]  clearly has .  ❜ ❛  you’re lucky that you’re so gorgeous .  ❜ ❛  no connor roy propaganda on my page .  ❜

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jigsawmemes
𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.    a collection of one - liners taken from our discord server’s pinned messages.   slightly edited for clarity.   change pronouns as necessary.  tw for nsfw  +  daddy kink.

❛  NO idea what that’s about .  ❜ ❛  i can’t see you right now but i perceive you .  ❜ ❛  IT’S A FUCKING FISH !  ❜ ❛  HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A FUCKING FISH LOOKS LIKE ?  ❜ ❛  that - that sounds kind of dramatic ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  i will give you whatever you want .  ❜ ❛  the song about eating pussy DOES hit different on vinyl .  ❜ ❛  i’ll dox him ,   whatever .  ❜ ❛  BRO DUDE .  ❜ ❛  the cat’s my favorite character ,   actually .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  hates  [ name ]  so bad he wants him so carnally .  ❜ ❛  I DO NOT SUPPORT AMERICA .  ❜ ❛  ok shush i’m spending my brother’s money .  ❜ ❛  okay  [ name ]  we get it ,   you’re horny .  ❜ ❛  you know ,   i’ve surprisingly thought for a while about  [ name ]  and daddy kinks .  ❜ ❛  i’m always here and never here ,   i’m schrodingers law student .   ❜ ❛  GAYBOT !  ❜ ❛  what i would give to make out with  [ name ]  .  ❜ ❛  it stands for FAILURE .  ❜ ❛  congrats ,   [ name ] .   you broke  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you’re ABOUT to feel fucking threatened if you don’t stop .  ❜ ❛  FUCK MY DOC .  ❜ ❛  it starts with a sex scene ,   by the way .   ❜ ❛  three dead himbos .  ❜ ❛  i think  [ name ]  and daddy would get along .  ❜ ❛  are you   …   back in the closet ?  ❜ ❛  it pays to be the dumb one .  ❜ ❛  i’m really thinkin’ we could build a TARDIS .  ❜ ❛  you’re always on your bullshit ,   and i love you for it .  ❜ ❛  let  [ name ]  fuck a man !  ❜ ❛  you guys hate me ,   and for what ?  ❜ ❛  i don’t know what you mean ,   i’m just an ally .  ❜ ❛  shit like that only happens in ohio .  ❜ ❛  he’s an arrogant blonde white man .  ❜ ❛  FAMILY !   THERAPY !  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  routinely makes me lightheaded laughing .  ❜ ❛  your boyfriend gives me nothing .  ❜ ❛  fuck legalities .  ❜ ❛  truly ,   i took the upgraded package .  ❜

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ohisms
𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬'𝑺 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑨 𝑫𝑶𝑾𝑵𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬 .    (   sentence  starters  originating  from  the fourth  season  of  syfy’s ‘ warehouse 13 ′ .   change  pronouns  as  needed  )

❛  what  is  it ?  what’s  happening ?  ❜ ❛  are  you  alright ?  ❜ ❛  this  is  wrong .  ❜ ❛  you’re  putting  your  life  on  the  line .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  hold  my  hand .  ❜ ❛  close  your  eyes ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  there  has  to  be  another  way .  ❜ ❛  guess  i’m  not  much  of  a  hero ,  huh ?  ❜ ❛  what  aren’t  you  telling  me ?  ❜ ❛  i  guess  i  should’ve  told  you .  ❜ ❛  i  really  hope  you  can  forgive  me .  ❜ ❛  i  would  do  it  all  again .  ❜ ❛  the  world  is  a  better  place  with  you  in  it ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you  didn’t  get  permission .  you rebel !  ❜ ❛  there  are  consequences .  ❜ ❛  right  now  i  wish  i  was  dead .  ❜ ❛  thongs  give  me  a  rash .  ❜ ❛  who  died  and  made  you  boss  of  me ?  ❜ ❛  are  you  protecting  me ?  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  said  he  was  gonna  tell  you  …  ❜ ❛  you  owe  me  a  dinner .   a  very  nice  dinner .  ❜ ❛  when  was  the  last  time  you  slept ?  ❜ ❛  what  are  you  keeping  from  me ?   spill .  ❜ ❛  if  you  need  me  for  ANY  reason  whatsoever ,   call  me .   but  only  if  it’s  important .  ❜ ❛  we’ve  been  through  a  lot .  i  think  we  should  just  lay  low   &   take  it  easy .  ❜ ❛  OKAY ,   so  many  questions …  ❜ ❛  look  at  you ,   having  ideas !  ❜ ❛  i  have  ideas !   most  of  them  are  illegal .  ❜ ❛  we  both  know  this  is  about  so  much  more  than  that .  ❜ ❛  real  suffering  is  knowing  what  lays  just  beyond  your  grasp  and  never  being  able  to  reach  it .  ❜ ❛  some  risks  are  worth  taking .  ❜ ❛  no .  you  don’t  get  to  just  quit  on  us .  ❜ ❛  this  is  not  a  debate !  ❜ ❛  you  slept  with  her ,  didn’t  you ?  ❜ ❛  can  we  just  do  this  &  go  home ?  ❜ ❛  for  the  record ,  i  don’t  want  you  out  of  my  hair .  ❜ ❛  this  is  not  how  i  wanted  to  handle  this ,  &  you  know  it .  ❜ ❛  there’s  no  turning  back ,   now .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  even  going  to  pretend  to  understand  what  you’re  talking  about .  ❜ ❛  can  i  ask  …   what  happened ?  ❜ ❛  are  you  sure  you’re  okay ?   you  still  look  a  little  woozy .  ❜ ❛  it  went  by  so  fast ,   i  just  …  i  honestly  don’t  know .  ❜ ❛  i  tried  to  tell  you ,   but  you  didn’t  want  to  hear  it .  ❜ ❛  all  this  anger  &  hate ,   it’s  not  good  for  you .  ❜ ❛  how  could  you  say  that ?  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  stop .  look  at  me .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  let  it  go .   i  really  do ,   but  i  don’t  know  how .  ❜ ❛  can  you  feel  my  heart  beating ?  ❜ ❛  what  did  you  do  to  him ??  ❜ ❛  do  you  have  a  better  idea ?  ❜ ❛  forget  about  me ,  just  save  them .  ❜ ❛  why  don’t  you  just  kill  me ?  ❜   ❛  take  this ,  &  disappear .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  wouldn’t  do  that .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  see  a  way  out  this  time .  ❜ ❛  i  just  need  you  to  trust  me .  ❜ ❛  there’s  that  smile  …   i’m  glad  it’s  the  last  thing  i’ll  see .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  …  i  never  stopped  loving  you .  ❜ ❛  don’t  do  this ,   [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  there’s  nobody  there !  it’s  just  you ,   it’s  just  you .  ❜ ❛  it’s  gonna  be  okay ,   okay ?  we’re  gonna  figure  this  out .  ❜ ❛  i  want  you  to  leave .  go .  go ,  now .  ❜ ❛  let  me  help  you .  ❜ ❛  you’re  in  my  way .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  can  you  hear  me ?  ❜ ❛  what  is  it ?  are  you  okay ?  ❜ ❛  no  one  is  giving  up .  ❜ ❛  i’m  sorry ,  [ name ] ,  but  that’s  not  gonna  happen .  ❜ ❛  just  for  once ,   will  you  please  listen  to  me  &  do  as  you  are  told ?  ❜ ❛  you  can  tell  me  where  it  is ,  or  i  can  find  it  myself .   telling  me  where  it  is  is  the  safer  choice .  ❜ ❛  don’t  do  anything  foolish ,   [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  listen  to  me .  we  can  help  you .  ❜ ❛  no  matter  what  they  say ,   it’s  a  lie .  ❜ ❛  you’ve  already  lost  this  battle .  ❜ ❛  i  know  you’re  in  there .  i  know  you  can  hear  me ,   so  please  -  before  anyone  else  gets  hurt ,   let  me  help  you .   ❜ ❛  you  know  i’m  capable  of  this .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  look ,  it’s  over !  ❜ ❛  this  is  over  when  i  say  it’s  over .  ❜ ❛  i  think  this  might  be  the  end .  ❜ ❛  i  killed  someone  i  love .  ❜ ❛  i’m  trying  something  different .  ❜ ❛  i  asked  you  to  leave  me  out  of  this .  ❜ ❛  maybe  just …  coffee ,  next  time ?  ❜ ❛  you  will  never  lose  this  friend .  ❜ ❛  another  stereotype  shattered .  ❜ ❛  does  [ name ]  know  who  you  really  are ?  ❜ ❛  i  know  what  i  have  to  do .  ❜ ❛  you  warned  me .  ❜ ❛  oh  my  god ,  he’s  your  ex -  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  think  that  that’s  relevant .  ❜ ❛  i  think  i’ve  had  this  exact  nightmare  before .  ❜ ❛  do  you  need  us  to  hate  him ?  because  we  can  hate  him .  ❜ ❛  i’d  really  rather  talk  about  this  at  another  time  that’s  not  now .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  here  to  talk  about  my  feelings .  ❜ ❛  you  were  always ,  always  lying  to  me !  ❜ ❛  why  do  i  suddenly  want  vodka ?   ❜ ❛  we  can  talk  about  it  when  i’m  dead !  ❜ ❛  i  knew  i  was  your  type !  ❜ ❛  i  know  you  can  do  this ,  come  on -  ❜ ❛  whatever  it  is ,  just  trust  me ,  tell  me .  ❜ ❛  the  problem  with  hiding  things  behind  glass  doors  is  you  can  see  through  them .  ❜ ❛  i  guess  you  never  really  knew  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you  really  wanna  talk  about  this ?  ❜ ❛  i’ve  been  getting  in  touch  with  my  sensitive  side .   knock ,  knock ,  [ name ] .  i’m  home .  ❜ ❛  poetry  sucks ,  because  it  doesn’t  make  any  sense .  ❜ ❛  it  would  be  a  lot  easier  for  both  of  us  if  you  weren’t  here .  ❜ ❛  my  personal  stuff  cannot  get  in  the  way  of  this  job .  ❜ ❛  this  is  cutting  it  a  little  too  close .  ❜ ❛  i’m  a  liability  …   you  can  finish  it  up ,  i’ll  wait  in  the  car .  ❜ ❛  that’s  not  even  remotely  funny .  ❜ ❛  there  are  things  that  i  can’t  tell  you .  ❜ ❛  i’m  trying  to  protect  you .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  you  never  even  said  goodbye .  ❜ ❛  you  really  want  the  truth  all  the  time ?  ❜ ❛  i  was  always  scared  i’d  screw  up ,  &  it  made  me  screw  up  even  more .  ❜ ❛  if  i  couldn’t  make  it  work  with  you ,  then  i  couldn’t  make  it  work  with  anyone .  ❜ ❛  trust  me ,  these  people  are  not  your  friends .  ❜ ❛  i  couldn’t  leave  without  saying  goodbye ,  you’d  never  let  me  hear  the  end  of  it .  ❜ ❛  why  does  everyone  want  to  talk  today ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  not  thinking  what  i  think  you’re  thinking ,   are  you ?  ❜ ❛  we  need  to  stop  cutting  these  things  so  close .  ❜ ❛  you’re  not  listening  to  a  word  i’m  saying ,  are  you ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  relentless .  ❜ ❛  how  do  you  know  [ name ] ?  ❜ ❛  it’s  late ,  you  look  tired .  ❜ ❛  killed  by  a  pirate ?  that’s  how  i  wanna  go  out .  ❜ ❛  if  i  was  stalking  you ,  i  would’ve  known  where  you  were  at  one  o’clock  in  the  morning .  ❜ ❛  what  would  i  do  without  you ?  ❜ ❛  this  proves  nothing .  ❜ ❛  you  remember  me .  that’s  good .  ❜ ❛  i  am  way  past  believing  anything  you  have  to  say .  ❜ ❛  i  wish  i  didn’t  have  to  lie  to  you .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  be  mortal .  ❜ ❛  what  did  you  do ?  ❜ ❛  you  took  everything  from  me .  now ,  i’ll  take  something  from  you .  ❜ ❛  i  won’t  leave  you  here !  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  knows  what  i  want .  ❜ ❛  i  have  a  score  to  settle .  ❜ ❛  you  have  to  go  somewhere  safe .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  be  careful .  i’ve  already  lost  enough  people  that  i  care  about .  ❜ ❛  do  you  have  anything  else  to  do  but  look  doubtful ?  ❜ ❛  look ,  i  know  that  you’re  worried .  ❜ ❛  i just  …  i  need  help .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  gonna  let  you  ignore  this .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  remember  much .  ❜ ❛  there’s  no  time .  ❜ ❛  how  long  have  you  known ?  ❜ ❛  you’ve  been  lying  to  me  for  as  long  as  i’ve  known  you .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  just  leave  you  here .  ❜ ❛  you  have  to  go .  ❜

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leneemusing

morning after starters

  last night was nice.    lets do this again some time.    i’ll leave my number.    i gotta go, sorry.   “  can’t you at least stay for breakfast?  ”   i’ll make coffee—don’t go anywhere.    next time, maybe i’ll buy you dinner first.  “  if we do this again you better buy me dinner first.    i don’t think my legs work again yet.  ” “  i don’t wanna get up.  “  no don’t move, it’s too cold outside the covers.    there’s no way i can hide these marks…    this was probably a mistake.    this can’t happen again.  “  you always say that, and yet we wind up right back here.    are you watching me sleep?  ” “  you look cute all frazzled like this.  “  why are you looking at me like that?  ”   keep kissing me like that and we’re gonna end up back in bed.  “  something wrong? ” “  i’d stay if i could, i promise.  “  so if i put my number in your phone, you actually gonna text me? ”   i made breakfast.  “  how do you take your coffee?  ” “  fuck! i’m late—    did you turn the alarm off?  ”   if you don’t turn that alarm off i’m gonna throw it out the window.    i can’t find my shirt.  “  babe, we slept in.  “  i know you’re awake.    i’ll stay.  “  why don’t you stay?  ” “  i like waking up with you.  ” “  i like having you here at night.  “  you know, if you moved in we wouldn’t keep having to say goodbye like this.  “  so when are we gonna actually go on a real date?  ” “  do i smell bacon?  ” “  you made pancakes?  ” “  come on, come back to bed.    you weren’t there when i woke up.  “  i thought you left.    do you want me to go?  ” “  just let me sleep for five more minutes.    you’re really beautiful/handsome. even if you drool.  “  you talk in your sleep, ya know.    

ACTIONS:  1. for one muse to surprise the other with breakfast in bed 2. for our muses to go another round in the morning 3. for your muse to join mine in the shower while getting ready for the day 4. for one muse to stop the other from trying to sneak away 5. for one muse to invite the other to spend the rest of the day with them  6. for one muse to convince the other to stay in bed the rest of the day 7. for our muses to have sex in the kitchen instead of finishing breakfast 8. for our muses to spoon 9. for one muse to wake up with morning wood  10. for one muse to wake the other up with oral  11. for lazy morning sex  12. for one muse to wake the other because they’re having a nightmare  13. for one muse to distract the other from getting ready by kissing/groping them 14. for one muse to kick the other out of their home  15. for our muses to wake with no recollection of the night before  

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ohisms
𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑰𝑻𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 .    (   a  series  of  nsfw  prompts ,  separated  by  quotes   &   acts .   ‘ my ’  muse  belongs  to  the  one  who  posted  the  meme .  send   “ + REVERSE ”   to  reverse  the  prompts  )

       →  WORDS .

❛  i’m  sorry ,  you  don’t  enjoy  being  teased ? .  ❜ ❛  you  know  what  i’m  waiting  for .  ❜ ❛  keep  your  hands  where  they  are .  ❜ ❛  i want you to ride  [ me / my fingers ] .  ❜ ❛  you  make  the  prettiest  sounds .  ❜ ❛  say  please .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  make  this  last .  ❜ ❛  look  at  me .  ❜ ❛  i’m  yours ,  only  yours -  ❜ ❛  yeah ,  just like that -  ❜ ❛  i’ve  barely  even  started .  ❜ ❛  i  need  you .  ❜ ❛  god ,  shut  up  and  fuck  me  already !  ❜ ❛  god ,  yes ,  [ name ] ,  don’t  stop .  ❜ ❛  you  have  no  idea  how  long  i’ve  wanted  to  do  this .  ❜ ❛  who  gets  to  touch  you  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  come  for  me .  ❜ ❛  ah ,  ah -  don’t  touch .  ❜ ❛  brace  your  hands  on  the  wall .  ❜ ❛  could  you  come  like  this ?  ❜ ❛  please ,  let  me  come -  ❜ ❛  god ,  you’re  beautiful -  ❜ ❛  i’ve  been  waiting  for  this  all  night .  ❜ ❛  you’re  such  a  tease .  ❜ ❛  take  these  off .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  feel  your  [ mouth / fingers ] .  ❜ ❛  do  you  have  any  idea  how  good  you  taste ?  ❜ ❛  tell  me  what  you  want .  ❜ ❛  we  shouldn’t -  ah ,  we shouldn’t be doing this .  ❜ ❛  faster ,  [ name ] ,  i  need  more .  ❜ ❛  is  this  good ?  ❜ ❛  keep  your  eyes  open .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  wait  to  find  out  what  else  you  can  do .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  be  so  gentle .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  hear  you  beg .  ❜ ❛  can  i  take  this  off ?  ❜ ❛  please ,  please ,  please -  ❜ ❛  you’re  doing  so  well  for  me .  ❜ ❛  please  touch  me .  ❜ ❛  keep  reading ,  i  want  to  see  how  long  you  last .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  buy  you  another  one .  ❜ ❛  say  my  name .  louder .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  wait  any  longer .  ❜ ❛  you  feel  so  good .  ❜ ❛  you’re  going  to  leave  a  mark -  ❜ ❛  touch  yourself  for  me .  ❜ ❛  do  you  deserve  it ?   ❜ ❛  did  i  say  you  could  come ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  so  close -  ❜ ❛  they’re  going  to  catch  us -  ❜ ❛  i  want  you  right  here .  ❜ ❛  we  have  to  be  quiet .  ❜

         →  ACTIONS .

❛  pin .   to  restrain  my  muse’s  hands  during  intimacy . ❛  mirror .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  in  front  of  a  mirror . ❛  deny .   to  deny  my  muse  an  orgasm . ❛  distance .   to  have  [ phone / video ]  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  playlist .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  while  music  is  playing . ❛  paw .   to  fondle  my  muse’s   [ chest  /  ass ] . ❛  wall .   to  pin  my  muse  against  a  wall . ❛  table .   to  hoist  my  muse  onto  a  [ table  /  counter ] . ❛  clothed .   to  make  my  muse  come  while  fully  dressed . ❛  finger .   to  finger  my  muse . ❛  oral .   to  give  my  muse  oral . ❛  fervent .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  after  a  fight . ❛  distraction .   to  rile  my  muse  up  during  a  film . ❛  mark .   to  leave  marks  on  my  muse  [  optional :  specify where  ] . ❛  tie .   to  use  restraints  on  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  throat .   to  choke  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  sparring .   for  sparring  to  turn  into  sex . ❛  toys .   to  use  toys  [ vibrator / strap / otherwise ]  on  my  muse . ❛  imagery .   to  send  my  muse  a  risque  photo . ❛  drag .   to  pull  my  muse  closer  by  a  piece  of  clothing . ❛  tear .   to  tear  a  piece  of  clothing  from  my  muse’s  body . ❛  shower .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  in  the  [ shower / bath ] . ❛  sneaky .   to  sneak  away  from  a  gathering  to  have  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  beg .   to  make  my  muse  beg . ❛  carnal .   to  [ scratch / bite ]  my  muse  during  intimacy . ❛  preoccupied .   to  rile  my  muse  up  as  they  [ read / work ] . ❛  jealous .   to  purposefully  make  my  muse  react  possessively . ❛  dare .   to  have  sex  with  my  muse  based  off  a  dare . ❛  read .   to  re-enact  something  from  a  [ book / show / porn ]  with  my  muse . ❛  collapse .   to  break  a  bed  during  sex  with  my  muse . ❛  caught .   to  get  caught  with  my  muse  during  sex .

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bo burnham’s   inside   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying  tw :  mental health ,  depression , suicidal thoughts ,  nsfw ,  language 

  • ‘and so today I’m gonna try just getting up, sitting down, going back to work.’ 
  • ‘might not help but still it couldn’t hurt.’ 
  • ‘I’m sorry I was gone.’ 
  • ‘what the fuck is going on?’ 
  • ‘I wanna help to leave this world better than I found it.’ 
  • ‘the world is so fucked up.’ 
  • ‘I self - reflected and I wanna be an agent of change.’ 
  • ‘maybe I should just shut the fuck up ….  I’m bored.’ 
  • ‘should I be joking at a time like this?’ 
  • ‘that’s the deepest talk we’ve ever had.’ 
  • ‘it’s similar to a constant state of sleep paralysis.’ 
  • ‘don’t you know that the world is built with blood! and genocide and exploitation…’
  • ‘don’t burden me with the responsibility of educating you. it’s incredibly exhausting.’ 
  • ‘this isn’t about you. so either get with it, or get out of the fucking way!’ 
  • ‘I hope you learned your lesson.’ 
  • ‘I can’t believe it. it’s been a decade since you’ve been gone.’ 
  • ‘still figuring out how to keep living without you.’
  • ‘it’s got a little better but it’s still hard.’ 
  • ‘can any single person shut the fuck up about any single thing for an hour? is that possible?’ 
  • ‘the coffee is free, just like me. I’m an unpaid intern.’ 
  • ‘I’m being a little pretentious.’
  • ‘it’s pretty unlikable that I … that I need this need, this desperate need, to be seen as, uh, intelligent.’
  • ‘it’s a defensive mechanism. I’m so worried that criticism will be levied against me that I levy it against myself before anyone else can.’ 
  •  ‘look at where you came from. look at you now.’ 
  • ‘sexting. it isn’t sex, it’s the next best thing.’ 
  • ‘we’ll talk dirty like we’re ancient egyptians.’ 
  • ‘jesus fucking christ, I guess I never learn.’ 
  • ‘I was a kid who was stuck in his room. there isn’t much more to say about it.’
  • ‘there isn’t much more to say about it.’ 
  • ‘when you’re a kid and you’re stuck in your room, you’ll do any old shit to get out of it.’ 
  • ‘you went out to look for a reason to hide again.’
  • ‘now come out with your hands up, we’ve got you surrounded.’ 
  • ‘isn’t anybody going to hold me accountable?’
  • ‘I tried to hide behind my childhood and that’s not okay. my actions are my own, I won’t explain them away.’
  • ‘and I’m really fucking sorry.’ 
  • ‘I turn thirty in less than a minute.’ 
  • ‘I used to wake up with a smile, and go to bed at night with a dream. but now I’m turning thirty.’ 
  • ‘oh fuck. how am I thirty?’ 
  • ‘I used to make fun of the boomers. in retrospect, a bit too much.’
  • ‘and now my stupid friends are having stupid children.’
  • ‘I’ll be honest with you, didn’t love it.’
  • ‘we shouldn’t be dead forever, yet. so let’s not, right?’ 
  •  ‘nevermind, I don’t wanna know.’ 
  • ‘I thought it’d be over by now. but I got awhile to go.’ 
  • ‘I’m holding the flashlight like a cop. why am I doing that?’ 
  • ‘are you feeling what I’m feeling? I haven’t had a shower in the last nine days.’ 
  • ‘staring at the ceiling and waiting for this feeling to go away. but it won’t go away.’
  • ‘well, I feel like shit. feeling like a saggy , massive bag of shit.’ 
  • ‘my current mental health is rapidly approaching, um. an ATL. which is, uh, an all time low. not … not atlanta.’ 
  • ‘I feel okay when I’m asleep.’ 
  • ‘could I interest you in everything all of the time?’ 
  • ‘you know, it wasn’t always like this.’ 
  • ‘and if we stick together, who knows what we’ll do.’ 
  • ‘it was always the plan, to put the world in your hand.’ 
  • ‘and that has made me completely freak out.’ 
  • ‘one should only engage with the outside world as one engages with a coal mine. suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface.’ 
  • ‘in honor of the revolution it’s half - off at the gap.’ 
  • ‘there it is again. that funny feeling.’
  • ‘hey, what can ya say? we were overdue.’ 
  • ‘but it’ll be over soon, just wait.’ 
  • ‘I am not … well.’ 
  • ‘don’t be scared. don’t be shy. come on in, the water’s fine.’ 
  • ‘pray for me.’ 
  • ‘I got better.’ 
  • ‘I’ve been hiding from the world and I need to reenter.’ 
  • ‘you say the whole world’s ending, honey, it already did.’ 
  • ‘you’re not going to slow it, heaven knows you tried.’ 
  • ‘so this is how it ends.’
  • ‘I’m slowly losing power.’
  • ‘has it only been an hour? no, that can’t be right.’
  • ‘am I going crazy? would I even know?’ 
  • ‘oh shit. you’re really joking at a time like this?’ 
  • ‘it’ll stop any day now.’ 
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