God I love Toast

Ideal work schedule:

4. I am paid for the whole day regardless of when I leave

i ordered cookie dough the other day and im still not over the picture they used for it on postmates like girl this is not her angle…

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

“What will I be if I don’t graduate/don’t get a promotion/don’t get my shit together/don’t make this relationship work?” You would be a perfectly normal human being who is inherently valuable and who possesses many talents and good traits

“What if I fail even when I tried my very best?” The world keeps turning and you will find many other things you will succeed at.

feeling like the health inspector

wish i could call in bitchy to work

sorry boss can’t work today. i woke up and i feel like a total cunt. can’t be trusted with customers

Me during a home invasion, and the burglar tells me he hasnt seen Avatar: the Last Airbender:

Fuck yea

i miss when actors all had normal human teeth

thought this crowd might enjoy gay pig

hiding under this guys car to try and slice his annkles with a old knife 🤣

wish i could call in bitchy to work

sorry boss can’t work today. i woke up and i feel like a total cunt. can’t be trusted with customers

There is no unskilled labor, only undervalued skills.