(credit)

And this may be the most brilliant thing I’ve seen today.

this image barely survived the shift between dimensions

thor ragnarok fight scene but holding out for a hero is playing

I am unhappy with how perfectly this works.

I am very happy with how perfectly this works

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 

Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.

What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!

She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 

He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me

IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS

I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS

That headline was a wild adventure from start to finish.

the bad sex awards are my favourite literary prize tho

i dont want to live anymore

Her pussy tasted like anchovies and her butthole smelled like tobacco. This is what straight men think is sexy and erotic.

If this man is married I feel so so SO sorry for his wife…

I had to put down my phone and walk around the room to calm down.

If I had to see this Monstrous Crime then you all have to suffer with me

LMAO

S I N

IF I HAVE TO SEEE THIS HORROR SO DO YOU.

DON’T NOBODY EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT MY SMUT AGAIN.

In my time as fic author and fic archive mod, I have seen some terrifying porn. But the stuff that gets published is sometimes even more amazing.

this bread tiny

yeast

it made me laugh in an unholy fashion at four in the goddamn morning, so here, have this.

well it took me about 2 seconds to reblog this

HOLY FUCK

????????????

power song

wHaT

🎵oh, i wanna nap with somebody…🎵

🎵i wanna fall aˢˡᵉᵉᵖ  with somebody…🎵

Hi

me when I feel like a side of beef

It do be like that when you feel like a side of beef

me

same

Both at the same time. We die fabulously or we don't.

i feel so attacked

And at 4 am its wikipedia pages on nuclear bombs

I see no difference.

Ain't those transformers?

new years resolutions:

1)

2) survive

3)

If you set your standards low enough you can't be disappointed