Look. I know it wasn't the best decision I could have made, but I made it and I'm sticking to it. Besides- *monkey's paw uncurls one finger* Wait. What do you mean by that. What do you fucking mean by that

starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world

oh! i forgot to do this. okay starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world and i actually seriously genuinely properly truly mean it this time

if you found out that your dad has 120k followers on tiktok what would it be for? what would your dad's tiktok niche be

"i would kill for you" "i would die for you" okay but would you forgive me if i forgot something important for the 51204th time in a row even though i tried my best to remember

*me, literally sick with want* whatever

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

"you will look for themes and motifs in media that isn't worth the effort" i will look for themes and motifs in the dirt. on the ground.

yes babe the sex was great but i never finished talking about vampires so i think we need to get back to that

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

youtube to illuminated manuscript converter is down again

I’m going to [remembers I should stop saying ‘kill myself’] rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Earlier today I made a remark that wasn’t necessary

spent my breaks today watching old 1d interviews and like. not one question answered in those 5 years they were together they had the training and psychological resilience of KGBs agent but over mundane shit like ‘what is this song about’. waterboarding could not extract that information from Niall’s mouth.

absolute best 1d question dodging tactic though was them all taking the world’s most awkward beat then louis saying something vaguely bitchy yet completely unintelligible in the strongest doncaster accent to grace the mortal ear (taking a minimum of 45 seconds for the human brain to decode), meanwhile zayn’s presence would simply be leaving the room in every metaphysical shape and form, and niall would be laughing in the back for no reason. lynchian. I think that’s the tactic the CIA used to convince witnesses they were having a stroke.

“a movie that feels like a movie” sorry that was just his instinctive winter soldier training you wouldn’t understand