Abstract God Trash

i hate them

I truly do love how the dragon age games are just:

Origins: you're dead. You have been since the beginning. You should be by the end.

Dragon age 2: you failed and there's nothing you can do about it. You lost your home twice.

Inquisition: you're erased. You are the most important person in the world and nothing you are matters.

And it fucking slaps!!

them

days long past

a watery grave

Something a little different this Furnace Fribob 😌😌😌

some old isabelas I never posted

hawke’s favor 🥀

hey (wildeyed and covered in blood and viscera) thought about my character again. yeah the one i like

i always forget that fenris is a mercenary in general, presumably as well as what he does with hawke. how offended do you think the party acts when he’s busy with a different job

PLEASE let there have been a job where hawke got hired to attack some place and fenris got hired to guard it and hawke is like “we aren’t seriously doing this are we” and fenris is like “does my word to my employer mean nothing to you” and hawke is like “really” and fenris is like “do the two sovereigns i am getting for this job mean nothing to you”

As far as I'm concerned this is a canon interaction. I'm obsessed with this.

"Fenris I will just GIVE you the money plz"

"I'm not a charity case."

I imagine this interaction ends in one of two ways, Fenris either is successfully bribed to stand aside at the front door and let his friends ransack the place cause he doesn't want to deal with Hawke and the others harassing him all night, plus the guy who hired him called him a knife-ear that morning so he swipes something too before leaving; or he mentions how much he's earning and it devolves into a conversation like:

Hawke: Wait, what? They're only paying you two sovereigns for the whole night?

Varric: Elf, that's way below base pay.

Isabela: You can do so much better!

Fenris: ...They also gave me dinner.

Hawke: That's just standard!

Varric: Tell me all the terms and who gave them to you, I'll figure out who's underpaying elves around here. Please tell me you haven't signed anything yet.

after which Fenris is sufficiently persuaded to join the gang in robbing the house, they split the proceeds and go for drinks, and five months later Varric publishes a Hard in Hightown spin-off called "Underpaid in the Undercity" whose protagonist elf character Fenris disavows any similarities with

Happy Fenris Not-Friday! I got way too caught up in this week's offering but it is done and it's also somehow 2:30 in the morning already???

having to pay for sebastian, the only straight companion in da2, is still funny on its own but I feel there’s also metatextual humor if we take the “varric is narrating this whole thing” to another level

like it’s no secret varric cannot stand this guy so the thought of cassandra piping up like “wait, wasn’t the champion also friends with the prince of starkhaven? you haven’t mentioned him at all”

and varric rolls his eyes so far back into his head he almost gives himself a migraine, then she insists “no, he is! I know I heard this, stop lying to me dwarf!”

he’s like “andraste’s nutsack, fine, but if you wanna hear about him I’m gonna need some financial incentive to jog my memory. he was so boring I often forget he was even there”

“you can’t be serious, are you saying you’ve completely forgotten everything about him?”

“seven sovereigns for the choir boy, seeker, take it or leave it”

something in the water today

wip of Fenris I’ll probably never finish

My illustration in FenHawke_zine