Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt

He and Legolas never had a single conversation, the only words ever spoken between them were, “and my bow”.

I need this on a blog, at long last, to look at whenever I want.

Frodo: I’m so overjoyed to see you all safe. Gimli, Aragorn, and- *discreetly looks at writing on palms*…L'orealas.

Cashier isn’t mad.. Just disappointed.

Yo, this is wild!!!

My favorite part is when people lose their shit at the leg lift.

FUCK! How did she change her clothes like that?!?! Magic is real!

@sailormoonsub

Holy shit

when I’m really old and have my own house one day, I’m going to save up to buy this thing and keep it in my front lawn for all to see

some neighborhoods have the old cat lady, I’m gonna be the old Shrek lady

you are a guest at my house one day, I invite you in

I then ask you to have a seat. but there are no chairs in my house

there are only Shrek bean bags

I offer you a drink, you say water is fine

I bring you the water in a Shrek 4-D tumbler cup

as you enjoy your drink, you begin to take in your surroundings

you notice my walls are all covered in Shrek wall sticker decals

you comment that I must really like Shrek

I say I don’t know what you mean, as my dog who I’ve affectionately named Eclair in honor of Donkey’s missing daughter, approaches

she is wearing a cotton vest adorned with the classic Shrek logo

on one of the Shrek bean bags at the far end of the room, naps my cat

he too is adorned with stylish Shrek-themed apparel

I ask if you are hungry

you say you kinda had a small breakfast and could eat

I make my way over to a nearby bookshelf and from it, I take down the official Shrek cook book

from which I prompt you to choose a recipe of your liking

the food has been eaten and you ask to use the restroom

I politely direct you to its location then let you make your way alone

in my bathroom you see my Shrek lip balm, Shrek face mask, Shrek perfumes

you glances behind my Shrek shower curtain to see my Shrek soaps and my Shrek sponges

you begin to consider the possibility that I may have a “problem”

you are wrong. I am perfectly fine. how dare you subconsciously insult me inside my own home. in my own bathroom. what the fuck

upon leaving the bathroom, you catch me watering my Shrek chia pet

I am mentally noting that its growth is impressive

secretly feeling overwhelmed by the impressive and not at all strange amount of Shrek themes in my home, you make up an excuse to try and leave

you say it is getting late. I note aloud that I hadn’t even noticed and look over at my Shrek clock to confirm

I internally note that it’s barely past noon and not actually that late at all

but I don’t say anything about this thought out of politeness to my guest

I show you to the door and we exchange goodbyes

as you are on your way out, you catch a glimpse of my Shrek car

you wonder how you didn’t notice it on the way in as you catch a glimpse of the back window Shrek decal

it’s of Donkey and he sort of looks as if he’s waving at you

you waved in response and then you wondered why you did that. it’s a sticker

a tiny, inanimate object, completely incapable of any sort of consciousness

I see that people keep reblogging this, but they’re only reblogging a part of it up to the cook book bit

I love you, but please appreciate my shitposts in their entirety

Actual things I have heard ‘20-something’ people in my life say:

How much longer does this have to go on before the government realises that its young people are practically DYING because we can’t afford medical care. When is enough going to be enough?

retromomentofgypsywhatever:

I got one at my university my senior year.

My roommates were horrified.

Deadly pick-up lines — (x) 

Make me admit stuff?

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? 4. Is trust a big issue for you? 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? 6. What are you excited for? 7. What happened tonight? 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? 9. Is confidence cute? 10. What is the last beverage you had? 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? 14. What are you going to spend money on next? 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? 18. The last time you felt broken? 19. Have you had sex today? 20. Are you starting to realize anything? 21. Are you in a good mood? 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? 24. What do you want right this second? 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? 34. Listening to? 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? 38. Who did you last call? 39. Who was the last person you danced with? 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? 44. Do you tan in the nude? 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? 47. Who was the last person to call you? 48. Do you sing in the shower? 49. Do you dance in the car? 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? 53. Is Christmas stressful? 54. Ever eat a pierogi? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? 57. Do you believe in ghosts? 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? 59. Take a vitamin daily? 60. Wear slippers? 61. Wear a bath robe? 62. What do you wear to bed? 63. First concert? 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? 65. Nike or Adidas? 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? 69. Ever take dance lessons? 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? 71. Can you curl your tongue? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? 74. What is your favorite book? 75. Do you study better with or without music? 76. Regularly burn incense? 77. Ever been in love? 78. Who would you like to see in concert? 79. What was the last concert you saw? 80. Hot tea or cold tea? 81. Tea or coffee? 82. Favorite type of cookie? 83. Can you swim well? 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 85. Are you patient? 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? 87. Ever won a contest? 88. Ever have plastic surgery? 89. Which are better black or green olives? 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? 91. Best room for a fireplace? 92. Do you want to get married?

Oh i got the time if someone is willing

GUYS

Ask away

different types

communication is the foundation

Where are they going? What are they saying?

I don’t even care they just sound so beautiful

it’s easy to spot an angel you just gotta start telling a story in a group situation when people are too busy talking over each other to hear you. look for that one person who notices and makes eye contact and smiles encouragingly till you’ve finished talking– that’s the angel. same genus as that friend who, when everyone else is jokily slagging you off about something, notices that one comment has hit a nerve and subtly changes the subject or says something in your defence. these people are pure and go straight to heaven.

is this what the kids are listening to these days?

HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!

Ｉ ｄｉｄ ｎＡＵＧＨＴｔ！ Ｍｉｓｔｅｒ Ｅｌｅｃｔｉｃ ｓｅｎｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ   ｐｒｉｎｃｉｐａｌ＇ｓ ｏｆｆｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｈｉｍ ＥＸｐｅｌＬｅｄ！

the inevitable conclusion

SHE SHOOK HER HEAD NO THATS SO CUTE