INDEFINITE HIATUS UPDATE!!

who am i kidding, i have no idea when i’ll be back. perhaps soon, perhaps also not because wow —— i have??? no time??? and v fickle muses that appear once every blue moon???? things are good, honestly. i’m in a much better place than i was the last time i was properly on. my mom has done a swell recovery thank chRI S T!! i’ve started classes again and i’m slowly sorting my life.

thing is, i need 2 get a job and i have classes 5hs per day everyday, on top of that i want to start poledance and get back to running and exercising and i still need to have a social life, which seems to be fairly active lmao. and when i’m on, i just don’t feel like this is a very —– idk … i don’t feel this place anymore. so i will return and that’s a promise, but i’ll properly return when i have the time and head space for dedicating myself to it.

for now, i’ll come on and do sporadic replies whenever i feel like it and to chat ooc bc i miss all y’all so fuckin much it’s ridic.

i hope all of u can understand. i love u. i’m sry i’m slow af and museless as shits. <3

xoxo ailin

I’m afraid? What am I afraid of, huh? What the fuck am I afraid of? You’re afraid of me! You’re afraid that I won’t love you back!

UPDATE!!

so, as it seems, i’ve kinda lost my groove for tumblr rping and as i just adore it too much, along with my characters and, especially, the people i’ve met through roleplaying, i’m trying to get it back.

for this, i’ll be doing a series of things:

please, please understand that this is so not about the threads i drop or the people i unfollow, it’s purely about me having to put things back in order and feel more in control of whatever goes on in my dash and my blog. being so, i’m 10000% open for NEW PLOTS and i want to start writing with more people i’m in mutual follows with, so if you’ve been wanting to rp with me and haven’t been able to for X reason, this is probably the best time for approaching me in whatever way (memes included) and we can rp. or like one of my plotting calls and i’ll message u!!

much, much love, ailin. xx

life motto

Carol (2015)

Send me 🔪 to put a knife to my muse’s throat and see how they react.

I always spend New Year’s alone. In crowds.                                        I’m not alone this year.

‘  all i want to do is kiss you breathless  &  watch as your eyes light up when i tell you that you’re my universe.  ’ ‘  concept:  just you  &  me,  driving away from the city.  the windows are down  &  the cold air feels amazing.  our songs are playing  &  we couldn’t be more in love.  ’ ‘  concept:  we are together  &  nothing in the world can bring us down.  ’ ‘  concept:  we listen to showtunes in bed while we eat chinese food under a blanket.  ’ ‘  even when i’m not thinking about you,  i’m still kinda thinking about you.  ’ ‘  every time we talk,  every time we touch,  i feel more  &  more in love with you.  ’ ‘  everything  –  every single thing  –  reminds me of you.  ’ ‘  hearing  ‘ i love you ’  from your side of the bed late at night makes my heart feel like it’s bursting with tiny,  happy spring flowers.  ’ ‘  i can’t stop kissing you  &  i can’t stop thinking about kissing you.  ’ ‘  i can’t stop thinking about you.  i just want to kiss you,  again  &  again  &  again  &  again.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait for the next time i get to kiss you.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to have hundreds of adventures with you.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to raise a dog with you.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to see you again.  it’s only a matter of time before we embrace  &  i feel at home once more.  ’ ‘  i can’t wait until we’re in the same country,  in the same city,  in the same bed  &  under the same blanket.  ’ ‘  i daydream about how your fingers would feel if they were intertwined with mine right now.  ’ ‘  i didn’t believe in soulmates until i met you.  ’ ‘  i don’t want better.  i want you.  ’ ‘  i feel like i could lie wrapped in your arms,  staring at the sky for centuries  &  need nothing else.  ’ ‘  i had a dream that we kissed last night.  ’ ‘  i just need to be in a meadow right now on a warm day,  with you,  the smell of grass  &  flowers around us.  ’ ‘  i just want to be sitting in the sun with you,  not knowing whether the warmth i feel is the pleasant sun or your soft smile warming my heart.   ’ ‘  i just want to make gingerbread houses with you around christmas.  ’ ‘  i just want to wake up in your arms every day.  ’ ‘  i just want you close to me.  ’ ‘  i just want you to sleep well  &  be happy.  ’ ‘  i love everything about you.  ’ ‘  i love how our legs feel entangled with each other.  i crave that feeling.  ’ ‘  i miss you all the time.  i’m never sure how i feel,  but i know i always want you around.  ’ ‘  i miss your soft touch against my skin.  ’ ‘  i need your arms  &  legs around me,  surrounded by your warmth,  holding me tight,  with no intention of letting me go.  ’ ‘  i often wake up thinking about you.  ’ ‘  i stay up until 11:11 every night just to wish you were here with me.  ’ ‘  i think you’re my favorite person in the world right now.  ’ ‘  i want nothing but to make good memories with you.  ’ ‘  i want to be your past,  present,  &  future.  ’ ‘  i want to dance with you while you sing all your favorite songs,   looking lovingly into my eyes  &  meaning every beautiful lyric you sing to me.  ’ ‘  i want to fill a hundred photo albums with memories of adventures with you.  ’ ‘  i want to kiss every single spot on your body that you’re insecure of.  ’ ‘  i want to kiss you each morning  &  each night.  ’ ‘  i want to laugh with you  &  hold your cold hands.  ’ ‘  i want to make a home with you.  the kind of home that lets you feel the love inside of it when you walk in.  it’ll be a safe place for us  &  the people we let into it.  ’ ‘  i want to make chocolate mousse with you  &  then we can eat it together.  ’ ‘  i want to see a whole world of different sunsets with you.  ’ ‘  i want to take a walk in the snow with you.  ’ ‘  i want us to share all of our excitement together.  ’ ‘  i want you to kiss me  &  hold me close while telling me everything is going to be okay.  ’ ‘  i wish you’d just kiss me.  ’ ‘  i would rather listen to your silence when i’m with you than any kind of music on this world.  ’ ‘  if i could gather all the stars in the sky  &  give them to you i would  ’ ‘  if there’s a day where i don’t tell you i love you,  there’s a day i’m not living.  ’ ‘  in my eyes,  you’re a king.  ’ ‘  in my eyes,  you’re a queen.  ’ ‘  it’s been years now.  despite everything,  we are alive  &  we are together  &  we are okay.  ’ ‘  i’d love to snuggle up to you when you want affection most.  ’ ‘  i’m happy you exist.  ’ ‘  i’m so blessed to have met you.  you’ve already got me longing to be in your company constantly.  ’ ‘  i’m so glad i keep you in my life.  your eyes,  your hugs,  you lips,  your words,  &  your smile keep me going every day.  ’ ‘  just the sight of your beautiful smile or the way you say hello is enough to make even my darkest days a little brighter.  ’ ‘  just you in my harms,   laying on my chest;  it’s just us being us  &  i think we are simply meant to be.  ’ ‘  lay on your stomach as i give you sweet kisses on your back  &  neck while i’m feeling your love tingling in my body.  ’ ‘  let’s fight the right wingers  &  make the world a better place.  ’ ‘  let’s go somewhere quiet  &  just be together.  ’ ‘  let’s see everything together…   the whole world.  ’ ‘  let’s sit in the forest together,  the particles in the air reflecting sunlight reminding me of the brightness in your eyes.  ’ ‘  my love for you makes me want to be strong for you.  ’ ‘  now i know the meaning of  ‘ i wouldn’t change you for the world. ’  ’ ‘  now i understand why all my other relationships didn’t work out:  i am meant to be with you.  ’ ‘  now it’s back to counting down the days until i get to feel free again,  until i get to be in your arms again,  until i get to see your radiance face-to-face again.  ’ ‘  nowhere feels as safe as being in your arms.  ’ ‘  one day i won’t be scared to say i love you.  ’ ‘  one day we’ll do everything we dream about together.  ’ ‘  seeing your eyes in the morning sunlight  &  feeling the warmth of your gaze brings upon me makes me realize i’m in love.   ’ ‘  tell me about the things you’re passionate about.  tell me every detail about your favorite things.  i don’t care if it takes all day,  i love you  &  i love to hear you be happy  &  excited about things.  ’ ‘  the thought of your voice  &  the softness of your smile keeps me going when we can’t be together.  i hope you understand you’ve given me a lot of faith  &  happiness when i thought it’d be impossible,  when i thought i didn’t deserve it.  ’ ‘  the way you look at me makes me feel like i’m the most beautiful goddess in the universe.  ’ ‘  there’s nothing i want more than to stay under blankets with you  &  curl up in your lap.  ’ ‘  thinking of you makes me think that maybe it’ll all be okay.  ’ ‘  we’ll celebrate holidays together  &  make our own traditions.  ’ ‘  when i think about you my heart feels funny.  ’ ‘  when i’m with you,  i get a feeling like coming home after a long time away.  ’ ‘  whether you’re blossoming or struggling,  i’ll stay with you.  i’ll keep on loving you.  ’ ‘  you are endlessly,  implausibly fascinating.  ’ ‘  you are like hot chocolate,  you make my insides warm.  ’ ‘  you are more beautiful than my favorite songs.  ’ ‘  you fascinate me.  ’ ‘  you make me feel safe.  ’ ‘  you make me feel how i never thought i could.  ’ ‘  you make me understand lyrics to cheesy love songs.  ’ ‘  you make my heart feel light as a feather yet heavy as bricks all at once.  ’ ‘  you,  my dear,  have the voice of an angel.  ’ ‘  your  ‘ i love you ’  has turned into my favorite lullaby.  ’ ‘  your arms are home to me.  ’ ‘  your eyes make me think about stormy skies in a different way,  your smile makes me blush just thinking about it  &  i think i am totally in love with you.  ’ ‘  your hands are my favorite hands to touch  &  to hold.  ’ ‘  your hands are so warm  &  your hair is so soft  &  i want to touch you forever  &  ever.  ’ ‘  your love for me reminds me to love myself.  ’ ‘  your smile is the most beautiful sight on this earth.  ’ ‘  you’re the highlight of my day.  ’ ‘  you’re the only person who can make me feel this way.  ’

             so!! i’ve decided to make my life way more simple with this: a PERMANENT STARTER CALL. this includes memes, turning memes into threads, random ass starters, jumping into your ims for plots and stuff. the conditions are simple: WE HAVE TO MUTUALLY FOLLOW EACHOTHER. that’s it. those are my conditions.