lmao what up

GIVE THAT MOTH A NEW OUTFIT!

🔫🦑🔫 you're a kid you're a squid you're a kid you're a sq

Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.

Parks Official: No sir, you cannot

Parks Official: No. They are a protected species

Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them

Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them

Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye

After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.

"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."

I laughed. "Does that happen often?"

"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."

Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious

Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?

Yes, literally.

it's 4:14 which means it's about to be 9 pm if i'm not careful

Every day we stray further from God

Yeah and nearer pussy

Mario and Bowser's rivalry after 30 years: Exists mostly just to uphold the status quo, instantly dissipates whenever the situation calls for it, Peach's kidnappings probably follow a very specific schedule and after every single one they all go out for coffee together. Luigi is unironically Junior's favorite babysitter.

Sonic and Eggman's rivalry after 30 years: If You So Much As Breathe In My Direction I Am Literally Going to Kill You With My Bare Hands

Link and Ganondorf’s rivalry 30 years: We are inexorably tied together by fate and ideology. We are each other’s opposite in the worst and most poetic way possible. We are enemies, we are brothers, we will destroy each other and the world around us over and over again.

Samus and Ridley’s rivalry after 30 years: BY GOD, IT’S SAMUS ARAN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!

God, you ever hear a trans womans voice and just 😍😍😍😍😍😍

This one?

fighting off swarms of pornbots like

staff: we have an update!

all of tumblr:

staff: you can now make polls!

all of tumblr:

Ohhhh you are correct I think everyone in the whole world should see this absolutely precious fuzzy little babe

What if I were a lawyer and you were a comic bubble… and what if we were both girls…

oc brainrot. is real

You managed to give expressive posing to an abstract shape what the fuck

he had a dream that five strangers silently entered his home and gently helped him pull on a pair of high waisted jeans, which caused him to wake up with a feeling of “indescribable dread”

west coast nest coast

we have some birds

east coast beast coast

there's. animal

MY NEWS YEAR'S RESOLUTION IS TO KILL SOMEONE THROUGH GAY SEX

WHETHER THAT BE MY PARTNER OR THE CHURCH

THE VOTES ARE IN. I WILL BE HAVING CRAZY GAY SEX WITH THE POPE TO KILL HIM