That's all I gotta say about that!

𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑠𝑓𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠.

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— you died shortly after him

— since you'd been ghosts around the same sorta time that tended for you to be closer, but that didn't mean that was any effort short of him trying to win your affection

— being there for each other when being in the middle felt all too much

— him listening to you sing on the theater stage, always making sure to tell you how beautiful he thought your voice was

— as much as it scared him that he was slowly starting to forget the stuff about being alive, he adapted by remembering every little thing about you and what you loved

— something about him felt so familiar to you, safe, warm

— feeling like you could finally relax around him

— you couldn't sleep since you were dead, but wally always made up a cuddle corner in the teachers lounge for the two of you to rest in

— having breakfast, lunch and dinner with each other ended up with you a laughing mess and food all over the floor

— him comforting you when you were worried about the other side, promising that you'd meet each each other over there even if one of you were to go sooner than the other

— him picking you a small bouquet which contained of lots of daisies and daffodils, gently sliding a couple behind your ear

— wally was often very protective over you, being your voice when yours wouldn't come out

— you always stole his jersey, him pretending to get mad. getting back by trapping you before kissing and tickling you

— it didn't take too long for you to develop feelings for each other, just that wally got there first to confess

— you never thought you could feel more alive when you were dead, but when he kissed you?

— it making you feel all giddy, butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach, your head feeling all fuzzy

— it always being slow and gentle, but deep. his hand placed on the nape of your neck, and the other on your hip pulling you into him

— what could you say you were both head over heels in love with each other

it truly is a crime that there isn't more content on here for him, ill change that soon!! hope this was okay @ilbradipodisagiato

© ruewrote.

a ghostly love masterlist

summary: in which lucia dies and falls in love with a cocky ghost of a football player, wally clark. (on my wattpad too!)

chapter one: my last cheer

chapter two: introductions

chapter three: fill your holes

chapter four: sweet on the inside & outside

chapter five: harsh words

chapter six: teaching & tension

chapter seven: don't need to be told

chapter eight: derek anderson

chapter nine: homecoming & connections

chapter ten: a night of change

more chapters coming!

𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚋𝚢 𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗 - 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚜

Not Even If You Tried - Darby x Emery

I alluded to this last night. Here it is.

My heart-wrenching dream-turned-chapter that spiraled at the beginning into something else (thanks to the Bucks).

Part of my series ' Dark Angel of the Bullet Club '

Word Count: 3,802

Warnings: Swearing, dark thoughts and spiraling/depression-like moment (briefly). Matt and Nick are assholes. Darby's precious. And tooth-rotting fluff at the end. (as demanded by Kat to make up for the tears this will probably cause ya'll)

Also, I allude to another chapter that I am currently writing -- ironically, another Darby x Emery one -- where he helps her get control over the Dark Angel and Sinister Angel personalities. Obviously, it worked. lol There is also a part I allude to Emery having previously hurt Matt and Nick? It's a part of the same fic (as mentioned above, Darby x Emery) where it explains that. Basically, it was due to Sinister having come out-- and Sinister doesn't care if friend or foe, she'll fuck shit up.

Tag List: @katries @rainries @mrsmatt @summertimefun1982

(divider)

Thumbtacks - Darby Allin x Emery

Part of my Dark Angel of the Bullet Club series

Tag: @blxxckheart @summertimefun1982

Words: 443

(divider)

here in the garden [prologue]

pairing: peeta mellark x f!reader

summary: nearly a week into your unique alliance, you and peeta take a quiet bath after a colorful training session. 8 days remain until the games.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, catching fire era, older victor!reader (4 years), aged-up peeta, secret relationship, platonic!katniss/peeta, sneaking around, fluff, smut, grinding, brief accidental piv, mentions of virginity

word count: 2.5k

series masterlist | a/n: a little taste before we rewind to day 1

Today, it’s shades of green.

Some deep and dark like shadowed leaves in a forest, and others bright and mixed with yellow to mimic sun-spotted blades of grass. It takes a decent amount of scrubbing to remove, and by the time you're finished, Peeta's arms are rosy red to match the flush spreading across his chest.

Paint swirls on the water's surface like an abstract portrait. It's as beautiful staining the walls of the porcelain tub you're bathing in as it was on his skin and just as fleeting.

If it weren't for the sweet boy beneath you, you'd allow that thought to linger. You'd dwell on the shortness of life and lament the brief time you have together before your short lives end. But for so many reasons you never expected to find in this hopeless place, you don't.

"You're My Perfect Little Ghoul."

Darby Allin x Reader Warnings: Angst, Everyone hating you, Fluff, Pet names, Sorta mental health struggle(very minor if anything), Mention of self hate Based on actual struggles I deal with(If you have these issues please talk to someone. I know it's not easy, but talking will help. You'll get through it, I believe in you ♥) Word Count: 468 Summary: Y/n feels this overwhelming feeling and her Loving boyfriend is there for her, cause he's always there when she needs him. Masterlist

Main Masterlist ♡ Darby Allin Masterlist

Samuel - Darby Allin

●Darby Allin x Reader●

Summary: You are bubbly and outgoing. Opposite of Darby. But Darby feels an attraction to you. Do opposites attract?

_________________________________________

Symbiote/Lucifer Morningstar Masterlist

Here is where you will find all the chapters to Symbiote~

(For those who don’t know, Symbiote is a Lucifer and Venom reader-insert crossover fic series I am writing)

Chapter 1

 Chapter 2

 Chapter 3 

Chapter 4 

Chapter 5 

Chapter 6

 Chapter 7

 Chapter 8 

 Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Till THE DEAD do us part Masterlist

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger sister, when the world ended she had Lori, Carl and Shane. But did she really have them? Her brother was dead, her sister-in-law was sleeping with her brother’s best friend and her nephew was just a small kid. She had him, Daryl Dixon was no knight in a shining armor and she was no damsel in distress, but maybe they were exactly what each other needed.

Warnings: swearing, death, violence , blood, injuries, sex, smut. Minors do not interact. 18+ (with the time I’ll add more to the list).

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader

Chapters

Smut - 🥵

Chapter 1: Vulnerable ~ Moodboard Chapter 1

Chapter 2: Anything that reminds you of me ~ Moodboard Chapter 2

Chapter 3: I’m sorry and Thank you ~ Moodboard Chapter 3

Chapter 4: Pinky Promise ~ Moodboard Chapter 4

Chapter 5: We’re all gonna die ~ Moodboard Chapter 5

Chapter 6: Are ya blind? ~ Moodboard Chapter 6

Chapter 7: Chupacabra ~ Moodboard Chapter 7

Chapter 8: Because it’s you

Chapter 9: I ain’t yer bitch, Grimes

Chapter 10: I’d carry it proudly 🥵

Chapter 11: I ain’t playin’

Chapter 12: You already have me 🥵

Chapter 13: This group’s broken

Chapter 14: We’ll not lose each other

Chapter 15: We’re definitely Lucky

Chapter 16: Ya know I hate lies, don’t ya?

Chapter 17: Of Kisses and Chapsticks

Dividers of the chapters by @cafekitsune , for now it’s only on Chapter 17, but I’m thinking about going back and using in the olds too.

Sober up

Peeta Mellark x f!reader

Summary; You and Peeta are enemies, but the golden boy get's a little too drunk at a celebration dinner; causing him to drunkenly confess his feelings for the reader. Long story short; Things get heated.

Warnings; smut, elevator sex, some light Dom/sub actions

Minors DNI

Drowning

Summary: When your worst fear becomes a reality and all you have on the other side is a brown eyed boy.

Pairing: Wally Clark x Reader

Warnings: Death, Drowning, Bullying

Edit: I am terrible at editing, and I tried my best so I'm sorry if you find any mistakes. This is my first full story I am releasing out into the world.

Word Count: 3330

I’ve never liked swimming.

People say it makes them feel free, but I felt anything but free. Every chance I got I avoided water at all costs. It's suffocating. Something about floating in a body of endless water and possibilities always made my skin crawl. One major problem that contributes to my fear is the fact that I can’t swim. I don’t blame anyone for this setback because I've never asked how to or showed interest. My inability to swim didn’t become a problem for me until my senior year of high school. I’ve gotten out of swimming class every year up until now and I had no choice but to take it. I tried to tell the swimming coach and counselors privately that I couldn’t take the class. All they said was I could stay in the shallow end. That I’ll be fine. I believed them. 

Word spread quickly throughout my class that I couldn’t swim once they started noticing I wouldn’t leave the 4ft mark. I didn’t really care, all I cared about was getting through the year. I was never really popular which didn’t matter much to me but being in this class never made it more obvious how much I hated it here. I felt eyes on me at all times which only made being in the water worse. 

It was March 12, 2015. Only a couple months left of school and then I’d be off to NYU living my dream of being a writer. First I had to get through 4th period swim class of course. I walked into the girls changing room preparing for the next 50 minutes of anxiety as I put my swimsuit on. I folded my dark blue jeans, my gray sweater, and a white tank top with lace on the trim that I wore under the sweater. Making my way to the pool I started putting my hair up in place of a hair cap I seem to have forgotten. Staring at the water I can see the bottom but it doesn’t stop the feeling of wanting to crawl up from my throat. Half the girls were already in the water preparing for a game of volleyball. Step by step down the ladder my hands begin to shake and my mouth becomes dry like I just ate pancakes. I make my way to the back to avoid any confrontation or any chance of being involved in the game. The one thing good about this class is it has a perfect view of the sky. I always get lost staring out at it wondering who’s also looking back. It makes me forget the situation I’m in and my environment. That's until a ball lands in front of me and about 15 girls are looking back at me waiting for my next move. I pick it up with my now calmer hands from before and spike it. Thankfully I made it over to the other side and the girls immediately turned back to the game. Not without some dirty looks but quite frankly I don’t really care. I watch as Mrs. Withers gets a call which seems to be serious as she tells us that she needs to step outside and when the bell rings to just go ahead. It’s only 10 minutes later when the shower bell rings and I feel the crushing weight lift off my shoulders. The other girls split based on which ladder they are closest to heading to the locker room and I help one of the girls get the volleyballs together. Making my way back to solid ground I rush to put the balls away not wanting to be one of the last to leave. I grab a towel on the rack near the other end of the pool as I make my way back seeing the last of everyone leaving. At least that’s what I thought until I heard someone behind me scream “Wait up” before running past me tripping me in the process. Losing my balance I watch as the one who screamed leaves the room leaving me alone. I hit the water with a loud splash waiting to hit the bottom to kick back up only to never feel my feet hit the concrete. I try to reach for the surface but everything I try seems to pull me down further. I panic, feeling my lungs on fire from filling with water. I tried to scream but no one could hear me and no one ever would. Everything was starting to go black and everything was becoming numb. All I could think about was how much I would miss out on. Finally, everything goes dark and I feel like I’m floating but I’m not, I’m being pulled up. I grab onto whoever’s pulling me up as if my life depended on it. Once I reach the surface my lungs fill with air as I begin to cough unbearably with my eyes screwed shut. I feel myself being hoisted up on the ground and out of the water. I’m pulled into the person who saved me as I am unable to move from exhaustion. When the person holds my face to center it I finally open my eyes as I am met with wide brown ones. 

“Are you okay”, he’s breathing heavily as I study him blocking out his yell to someone to bring his jacket. 

I feel a warm weight on my shoulders seeing its a blue and white letterman jacket out of the corner of my eye. 

“Thank you for saving me” I give him a weak smile but all I get in return is an expression filled with nothing but sorrow and guilt. 

Still seated on the floor I hear a horrified scream from beside me causing me to whip my head towards the chaos. Suddenly time stops and everything goes silent as I choked out a sob watching as a student and Mrs. Withers pull my body out of the water. The whole class comes to watch as they try to resuscitate me but nothing is happening. I feel the stranger push my head into his chest and I begin to cry harder than before. He repeats “I know’s” and “I’m sorry’s” as my world comes crashing down on me. 

Hours later we are still in the same position my hair and clothes dry now along with a tear-dried face. It’s dark outside with only the poolside fluorescent lights to illuminate our two figures. I begin to shiver more and more as the stranger who pulled me out of the water rubs my back and arms. 

“We need to get up, you're getting too cold” he whispers, pulling his body to get a better look at me. 

I lift myself up getting a better look at him as well as I memorize his long structured face, beauty marks, and brown eyes. After a minute I nod and try to stand up realizing that I’m still exhausted, the position not helping adding to the pain. He helps me steady myself and fully extend as he holds my hands making sure I’m okay. 

“You should take a shower and change into your regular clothes, I’ll probably do the same and I will explain everything once we're done. Okay?”, he says softly with an uneasy half-smile waiting for my response.

“Okay,” I whisper back at him not wanting to raise my voice feeling it’ll be too much to handle. 

His smile fills out more as he nods and begins to turn away to do the same tasks as me. I begin to turn away as well before I realize I never got the guy's name who pulled me out of the pool and stayed with me for hours. 

“What’s your name?,” I said, grabbing his arm to stop him from walking away. 

He looks down at my hand holding his arm which makes me see I’m still holding onto him causing me to let go. 

“Wally, Wally Clark”, he said with a wide smile that made me feel alive again for just a split second. 

After warming up from the shower I changed into my clothes from before that were neatly folded. As I begin to walk out of the locker room I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look back at the girl staring at me feeling disconnected from who she was or what she could’ve been. I take a heavy breath before opening the door to leave and face the reality of my situation. Stepping into the hall, the school looked unnatural to me with the lights off. I look over and see a less wet and cold Wally approach me with the same smile as before. 

“How was the shower? Do you feel better?”, he asked one right after the other. 

“The shower was good and I’m doing the best I can with the fact that I am already dead,” I said, peering up at him only noticing now how tall he really is. 

“I know it's hard and I’m sorry it happened this way but I will try to explain everything the best I can.”, he said, extending his elbow out for me to take it as we began to walk further down the halls.

And Just like he said Wally kept his word and explained everything to me that he could. Like how we’ll never be able to leave school grounds unless we pass on. He also showed me all the other kids stuck here just like us and told me how some passed. As well as the weird support group that the kids attend in the gym. Even though he’d joke he never sugar-coated anything, which I couldn't help but appreciate. I won’t lie, the first couple of weeks were rough. I was plagued by the memory of what happened as well as the thoughts of the future I’ll never get. It definitely didn’t help that everyone at school was mentioning it and not in a sorrowful way. During those few weeks, Wally helped a lot with trying to be a distraction so I wouldn’t focus on others. I guess one of the perks of being dead is being able to duplicate belongings so I was able to get my phone and journal. I found the perfect spot on the football field to just listen to music and lie down. I’d close my eyes and imagine what life could’ve been but I knew I couldn’t do that forever, so I started to write more. It was easier to put my wishes and fantasies on pages without having to dwell on them. I usually kept my writing to myself so around 7:30 every day I’d go to my little bubble of solitude on the field and write. It was May now so the sun would start to set around 8 giving me enough light and a view. 

“What are you writing?'' I suddenly hear Wally's voice right next to my ear. 

“Jesus Christ Wally you scared me to death”, I said, jumping in reaction to the sudden deep voice, placing my hand on my heart and dropping my journal. 

“I mean it's a little too late for that someone must’ve beat me to it.”, he said smiling at me as he sat down next to me grabbing my journal to open it. 

I glare at him and snatch my journal back. 

“What too soon?”, he said with a stupid grin trying to get my journal back.

“Just a little,” I said, scrunching my nose. 

“No but seriously what are you writing? You come out here every day and write in that little journal.” He said leaning back on his arms a bit more to get my full face into view. 

I try to hide the blush that has crept up on my face when I realize that he’s been watching me come out here. After a moment I brush my hair out of my face and am met with those famous brown eyes. I take a deep breath before explaining to him my reasons. 

“I don’t want to stay stuck in the living because all it’ll do is bring harm. All I thought about for the past couple of months was what I’ll miss but I never stopped and processed my death. I’ve been hurting for all the things I couldn’t change and it caused me to push anything away, even you. So I thought why not write my wishes and wants down so they don’t stay on my mind. At least this way I can close the journal.” I said with a tiny smile looking up at him as he was staring back intently listening. 

“Before I died I wanted to be a writer and I had my whole life planned out, I was going to attend—“ 

“NYU, I know,” he said, finishing my sentence before I could. 

I watch as Wally sits up straighter and scooches closer to me before tilting his head. I can tell he’s trying to figure out what to say because he’s fidgeting with his necklace. I wait for him because there’s no point in rushing, I have all the time in the world. 

“I’ve been watching you for a long time,” he says with a breath held in waiting for my response. 

One of my eyebrows lifts as I tilt my head in response to the slightly weird statement. 

“Oh god, that came out creepier than I meant it to. What I meant to say was even when you were alive I knew who you were.” He said laying back fully down in the grass. 

I watched as he covered his eyes with his hands with a frustrated grunt like he was trying to revert into a hole. 

“What do you mean?”, I said moving towards his laid position to where I’m now bent over leaning towards him leaving my crisscross position to now on my knees. 

I grab his hands that are covering his eyes and pull them down to his chest as I hold them to keep him from covering his eyes again. How he’s looking at me I can tell he’s debating with himself. I wait and listen before I watch as he closes his eyes. 

“The first time I saw you was during your freshman year in the library. I was looking for something to watch for group movie night. I had Rhonda yelling at me in one ear and Charlie telling me something in the other. I was getting a little annoyed but then I looked between the bookshelves and there you were.” He takes a pause to look at me and I squeeze his hand in return to continue. 

“You were tucked into the corner where the bookshelves meet, where no one could see you. In your hands was The Devil’s Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea. I watched as you cried the further you got into the book. After that day I came back to the library every day to see you. I even started picking up some of the books you read, but I couldn't finish half of them though.” He said with a small smile on his face and in his voice.  

He sat up which caused him to become closer to me while he took my hands instead of me holding his. He was looking at the grass for a minute while rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles. When he looked up I could see that he was tearing up making my heart ache. 

“I knew you had anxiety when it came to swim class because you couldn’t swim so I’d go to try and help. Even though you couldn’t see or feel me, I was always there.” He said lifting his hand up to tuck a loose strand of my hair that fell. 

His hand stayed in place as he cupped my cheek and I went to ask why he was tearing up because of this before he spoke. 

“I watched you die. I was there and I couldn’t do anything until it was too late, that’s why I was there. I had to watch you struggle knowing I couldn’t grab you or even scream for help.” He said with his voice croaking with the struggle of what he’s had to go through. 

My eyebrows furrowed as I watched the walls I built up crumble down with one look at him. I never knew he’d been holding in something like this for so long. If I had known I would’ve never tried to shut him out. I was scared of what had happened and how my life had ended but I never thought about him. He was always there and whenever I needed help he was right by my side. I moved from my position pulling him into a soul-crushing hug. It took him a second to respond to the sudden gesture but after a couple seconds, I felt his arms wrap around me.

“Wally my death wasn’t your fault, I need you to know that.”, I softly spoke while hugging him harder, feeling him return it. 

We continued hugging for what felt like years but could never be enough for me to be satisfied. One of my arms is coming up from under his arm grappling his shoulder while the other is around his waist. His arms are wrapped around my waist and I can feel his hands rubbing small circles on my back. Looking up from being tucked away in his shoulder I notice the sun is beginning to set. I begin to pull away and when I make eye contact with him again he’s only a mere few inches away from my face. I raise my hand to brush his hair away from his face as it has flattened from the hug. My hand slips down as it trails from the side of his head to where it now rests on his neck. He’s staring at me the whole time while I do this and when I look up to meet his eyes my heart quickens. Well, I imagined it quickened. There’s something about those brown eyes I’ve grown fond of that makes me feel alive again. His eyes flash down to my lips and back up to my eyes like he’s silently pleading. I give into his wants that now become a need for me and all I can do is nod. His hand comes up to my face pulling me towards him as our lips meet. The kiss felt like everything in my little life led up to this moment. Nothing else seemed to matter to me but the boy in front of me right now who just confessed that he’d been watching me for years. Wally’s the one to pull away first. I slowly opened my eyes to look at him wanting to capture this moment forever. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek and giving me a quick peck. I can’t restrain my gleaming smile as he pulls away for the second time. 

“Well I’m glad we got that cleared up”, he laughed as he spoke. 

I glared at him while punching him in the arm causing him to fall back but not before dragging me down with him. I land on his chest relaxing in his touch like it’s something I've been craving but have been deprived of. We lay in comfortable silence as I felt Wally rub circles with his thumb on my hip. 

“I’m glad it was you who found me. I don't know what I would’ve done” I said, being the first one to disturb the still air. 

“I am too,” Wally said into my hair as he kissed the top of my head. 

We lay there all night even when the stadium lights came on we just talked about everything and anything. Maybe the afterlife won’t completely suck. 

OVER THE INFLUENCE

(pt5 of ‘playlist for a star’)

PEETA MELLARK X AFAB!READER

previous part - next part soon

summary: You were rescued from the capitol and you were taken to the 13th district but your reunion with Peeta Mellark was different from what he wanted.

a/n: Hi guys!! i expected post this in the week but a stupid coward guy stole my phone while i returned to my home after work >:( fortunately i’m fine now and at least i recovered my stuff and buy a fucking new phone, definitely peeta mellark never treat me like this -.- happy xmas !!

(y/n’s pov)

Every cell in my body hurt, I was so drowsy that I had already lost count of how many times I had been lucid or unconscious, I have lost my idea of time and my life more than anything else. My last lucid memory was me about Peeta, hitting him until everything went black, my biggest fear was not to have killed him, Peeta Mellark should not be here free as if he had not hurt me, as if he had not destroyed everything around us. The light (of what I suppose was the hospital) felt too blinding to allow me to open my eyes suddenly, so I fought to open them for a few minutes, the voices were clearer and I felt my head hurt once again, I was already getting used to the feeling.

I tried to move, anxiety took hold of my body when I felt my limbs tied to the bed, this couldn’t be happening to me again, was this a Mellark’s plan? Did you want to rescue me to finish killing me here? My desire to be dead increased every second, I no longer remembered what it was like to be without that desire. Possibly they will have seen me fight, because it took a few minutes for Haymitch to enter the cold room, I didn’t know how to feel, for a moment I felt happy to have someone who maybe didn’t want me dead but my fear and distrust couldn’t disappear so easily.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered with weakness, I felt that I would burst into tears, it was the only thing I had been able to do without restrictions in recent weeks. “I came to see you, apparently if it was as terrible as they told me... do you know what happened?” I wanted to laugh at his words but it was more like a grimace, I shook my head, I knew that I had tried to kill Peeta Mellark but beyond that, I didn’t know anything, I didn’t know if he had died, I didn’t know where I was, I also knew that Peeta Mellark was being the face of the revolution and I was suffering the consequences, of the rest of the winners I didn’t know anything, I just know that they rescued us from the capitol.

“This is Peeta Mellark’s fault, you know? He was stupid, he got into this revolution and thanks to that I’m tied up here, I’m not even sure what they did to me or where I am! I hope I killed him!” The beeps of the monitor indicated that my heart was racing, I was shaking and my voice was barely audible, I felt helpless, full of anger and anguish, I just wanted to feel safe, I wanted someone to protect me, I no longer had anyone to trust.

“Don’t worry, y/n, they subjected you to a type of torture called hijacking, they give you tracker jacker’s venom while they alter your memorices so that you feel fear or danger with things related to that, that’s why you attacked Peeta and that’s why you want to kill him, I need you to remember who he is and what it is for you, I assure you that Peeta has never wanted to harm you, he didn’t know about the plan of the revolution” Haymitch’s voice sounded honest, I wanted to believe him, I needed to believe him but my fear was bigger, what if Peeta came in and I was unarmed? What could I do? I’m not really the strongest person and I’m a little shorter than him, considering that I’m malnourished, doped and weak, although I remember that when I attacked him, he didn’t do anything to defend himself, he simply allowed me to hit him even knowing that I was at a clear disadvantage.

“Is Mellark still alive?” I didn’t even want to say his name, I had to feel far from him, far from where he could hurt me, I wanted the answer to be negative. “He has some bruises but he’s fine, he’s been seeing you all these days, he’s like crazy for not being able to do anything... when you recover and you can return to normal, you’ll appreciate not having killed him, y/n” Why was he seeing me? I knew it, he’s waiting for the moment to kill me.

“He’s going to kill me as soon as he sees me, Haymitch, you need to stop him, you need to kill him before he kills everyone!” I twisted in bed while I cried and screamed, I felt again how my head was filled with voices and memories without stopping, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t fight my fear, I fought against the ties until my wrists bled, the sound of the door made me out of the trance.

Haymitch had left the room, instead, I found the presence of Peeta Mellark, watching me astonished and with sadness, he looked bad, his dark circles quite marked, his hair was messy and some bruises of the beating I had given him a couple of days ago were still visible, my heart shuddered, I didn’t know what I was feeling but he looked vulnerable, I wanted to throw myself into his arms and be in his chest while caressing my hair, the memories attacked my mind, some were beautiful and others horrible, I wanted to move those thoughts away but he couldn’t, he He had hurt me, it was all his fault. “You look terrible, Mellark,” I spat, trying to settle in bed, thinking of some way to defend myself if he approached me.

He sketched a sad smile and just as he expected, he approached a little but he did it slowly, he knew that I was alert. “You look as beautiful as ever, y/n, I am happy to know that you are here, safe, I will do my best so that you can be calm again, I will never forgive myself for this” His voice was so sweet that I felt that I would fall into his game, it was what he wanted and he was not going to give in.

“You should have thought about it before letting them take me, your role as a loverboy is over and it wasn’t with me who you should play it with, so you don’t need to come and tell me nice things because I don’t believe you, you’re a liar!” I could barely speak, crying and anguish had opposed my position of being hard, I was being vulnerable again and worse, I was being vulnerable in front of the person for whom I had become like this.

“Y/n, this is not a game, I love you from the first time I saw you and you know it, look at your hand, you still have the ring, you and I are secretly married, don’t you remember?” I looked at my hand, the damn ring was still there, it didn’t even seem to have any scratches, it was intact even after everything that had happened. I remembered that night, I remembered the warmth of his arms and the honey taste of his soft lips, I missed that feeling, inside me awoke that feeling of protecting him and loving him madly.

“Peeta Mellark, I will regret offering myself for the quarter quell until the end of my days, I should have let you enter there alone, I would have saved myself a lot of pain if I had not offered to enter with you, ‘cause you were going to enter as it was, you should have died there” It was the last thing I said before seeing the blond burst into tears and almost running out of the room.

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I did not see Peeta Mellark again the rest of that week, luckily I had already been allowed to leave the room accompanied by people or handcuffed in case I was alone, with a lot of therapy and a lot of crying, I could remember some things and I learned ways to discern the real from the false, although of course I had days when I did not know who I was or where I was, I was still unstable despite the fact that it was no longer as terrible as it had been at first, I began to realize that therapies and all those things were working when I could Having good memories with Peeta Mellark, I was enjoying those memories in the meadow and our sunsets together but all that was part of my mind, I didn’t know how I would react if I saw him again.

I would have liked to have enjoyed my calm and being taken care of all the time but apparently Coin decided that it was a good idea to send me to the battlefield along with the rest, they mentioned some propos.

My arrival at the squadron was not particularly pleasant, what did you intend to send me there? Right now I was only a malnourished and traumatized little girl, if I didn’t have my daggers it would be of no use and the only thing they gave me was an unloaded weapon, so the confusion was even greater, I was received with Katniss and Gale pointing at me while Peeta Mellark watched me with a look that this time I could not decipher, I assumed that for him my income was as spontaneous as it was for me.

“President Coin has sent to y/n to help us with the propos, she will be given an unloaded weapon and we will have turns to watch her, is that okay? He’s here to let you know that he’s on our side” The boy named Boggs or something like that spoke, everyone nodded to the orders without saying anything except Peeta, who offered to take care of me, the alarms went off in my head, maybe this was his time to kill me, I tried to think rationally and think that I wouldn’t be able to do something like that.

Or maybe yes.

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