Scared of losing you
Hello, lovelies! It’s been a while. Hope you guys like this one, I’ve tried my best, of course, with @punkcupcakestyles help! Go over there say hello, cause she has tons of Harry stories (they’re very lovely).
P.S.: This was not proof read. xx
- This one is about Harry’s girl feeling a little threatened and scared of losing him. Plus, Harry’s an art student.
I was sitting on his couch, hugging my legs as my head rested against my knees. The studio apartment was filled with the smell of something spicy and cheesy and I could hear Harry rummaging through the kitchen while I lounged around in his living room.
The place was warm, his soft blankets wrapped around me making me feel cozy as the rain fell outside, patting against the big windows and making the city lights even prettier than they were in the summer. There was something about cold rainy days, the smell of a freshly cooked meal and the assortment of candles Harry always lit ‘round the house that made me feel right at home.
This was my favorite place on earth. It was definitely better than my home during the holidays or the cute little flat I shared with Bruce, my best friend from Uni, and it was because of Harry. From day one, I had felt like something pulled us together, an invisible cord that guided us through life. Wherever he was, that’s where I belonged. The reason was simple, if you ask why, he was the most thriving person I had ever met, there was a never a dull moment, I was alive when I was with him. I was still happy to be by his side.
I couldn’t help but smile when the memories started flooding in, the familiar flat and weather making it too easy to just let my mind wonder down memory lane without much effort.
The first time we kissed, it was winter and I was half naked. Classes were almost over, we just needed to hand in one more project before the winter holidays and we were going to be free for almost a month. I was already done with all of my papers, I had presented my monologue the day before and I could practically call myself an officially free elf, if not for Harry’s project.
The task was easy: he had to turn in a portrait of someone, one that would show his full progress in the semester. I wasn’t really sure of all the techniques he had to apply in the damn thing, I just knew I had agreed to be his muse a month ago and now he needed me for the last part of the project.
It implied us meeting almost every day, which did not bother me at all. It turned out Harry was a perfectionist and he would not settle with anything other than the perfect painting.
That night when I entered his apartment, Harry was already waiting for me and the canvas propped up on a trestle, near the big window that overlooked the city - one of the reasons I loved coming to his flat. All the paint pots and brushes were set up right next to him, as well as the little scenario he had built up a month ago, when we started on the project.
The white chase lounge and the cozy grey blanket were waiting for me by the window and I smiled at him as I took off my shoes by the door and dropped my bag on his couch, standing in front of him as he greeted me.
“I was wondering when you’d get here,” Harry said, and as always his deep voice made chills run down my spine. His eyes were puffy and there were red little creases on his cheek, telling he me hadn’t woken up a long while ago, which of course, made my tummy do back flips.
“I figured you wouldn’t have had dinner yet, so I brought you something to eat,” I shrugged, showing him the little bag from the Japanese restaurant around the corner.
“You’re the best, babe,” he smiled and walked up to me, taking the bag from my hands and hugging me with one arm, a gentle kiss pressed to my temple. My eyes fluttered closed, the smell of his freshly showered skin making me inhale a bit too deeply. I loved the smell of him, ever since the day we met at one of our shared classes, when he approached me to say how much he liked my acting. I had blushed at his compliments and smiled when he said he wanted to see me on stage again. That night, while we all hung out at the bar, I couldn’t keep away from him, diving into an endless conversation that led us to my flat, where we stayed up talking until the early hours of the morning. We were surprised when the sun started shining through my curtains and Bruce, my flat mate and best friend, popped out of nowhere and told Harry to “shut the fuck up and kiss her already, before she starts begging”. It was quite embarrassing to be honest since all his words did was cause me to burn up but Harry brushed it off, pretending it was just morning bad mood. Little did he know I was ready to beg him, on my knees if need be.
If it wasn’t clear before, I’ll tell you now: I had the biggest crush on him, since day one. His goofy smile, paired with his long hair and the greenest eyes I had ever seen, got me down on my knees for him, butterflies and all.
When he asked me to be his muse for a project, I almost choked on my spit with how fast I said yes, just so I could spend some time with him outside of Uni. Was I too obvious? Maybe. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him no.
“So, do you have any wine? I think I’m in the mood for a drink,” I said, setting our plates and chopsticks all around his coffee table, the soft music playing in the background getting my attention. My favorite Coldplay song, Us Against The World, made me smile and shake my head. Wasn’t he perfect enough? Did he also have to like one of my favorite bands?
“Here’s your wine, love,” Harry said with his lanky limbs dropping down in front of me and setting two glasses and a bottle of red in front of me. “This one’s a bit sweet, but I think you’ll like it,” He shrugged and poured me a drink.
“It’s ok, anything it’s fine,” I whispered, following his languid movements as he finished pouring himself a bit of the dark red liquid.
We ate in silence; his sporadic moans and the clink of the wine glasses against the glass table the only noises beside the background music and our breathings. I watched him, a bit fascinated with the way the moved, the cute little way he stuck out his tongue before every bite making me swell with fondness over this giant dork. Scared of being caught, I looked away before he could look up, focusing on my sushi when I heard him sigh.
“You’re awfully quiet today, poppet,” he said, his voice low and a bit raspy. We were quiet for a long time now and I just didn’t want to burst the little bubble we were in. Sometimes, being quiet was enough.
“Just enjoying your company. Rainy days always make me a bit contemplative,” I explained, having a sip of the wine and frowning when it was over too soon.
“I like rainy days. They’re perfect for staying at home and watching some movies,” He said and I nodded.
“Let’s get this crackin’ then. I don’t want to be in the way of your plans for too long,” I said, slapping my hands against my thighs and getting up to grab the plates and glasses before I headed to his kitchen.
“I didn’t mean it like that. You cou- you could stay. Keep me company, it’s supposed to get worse outside,” He said, hands hiding in the pockets of his grey sweatpants, the sweater he was wearing hanging loosely against his lean body. I stopped in my tracks, trying to pretend my breath didn’t hitch when he suggested I stayed, and holding my victory dance for later, I nodded slowly.
“I- I’d like that very much, Harry,” I said as I turned to him, a shy smile taking over my lips.
“Well! Let’s get started then!” He clapped his hands, the loud noise making me jump, which caused a giggle to come out of his lips. I slapped his arm and pushed him towards his canvas.
“You’re such a dick,” I huffed. “I’m gonna change, be right back,” I excused myself, going to the back of the flat, his bathroom hidden behind a weird and out of place wall that just didn’t seem supposed to be there.
I loved everything about his flat. How cozy it was, the artsy vibes it had to it and the pretty paintings scattered around his walls. He had an old bathtub, white with golden little details that looked like the ones princesses had in their quarters. I always teased him about it, saying it was too girly for a boy’s flat and he’d roll his eyes, telling me it gave the place “character”.
After I changed into the little set he’d decided he wanted me in, a soft pink lace bodysuit, with a deep v cut neckline, I took a deep breath, letting my hair down and going out again. His place was warm but I still had shivers prickling my skin as I walked back to the living room and set myself on the chase, waiting for him to direct me.
Harry came over and his hands went to my arms, setting me back in the position he’d started painting, with me kneeling in the middle of the little sofa, the blanket strewn around me and my hands resting on my knees while my hair cascaded down my back. I knew it was a simple, almost obligatory touch, but I still had to hold my breath for a while, afraid I was going to squeal or giggle. I looked at him, noticing the seriousness and focus that had taken over his expression and knew it was going to be a boring session, like it was every time he was moody and quiet.
“Are you in the mood to talk today?” I tried, while he fixed a strand of my hair back behind my ear and smiled down at me. He had changed into his painting clothes: an old, soft cotton shirt, with paint stains all over the front and a few holes, but still as cozy as ever and his grey sweatpants.
“With you, I am,” he exclaimed, my tummy filling with wild butterflies that seemed to be battling, while he went back to his stool and I struggled to remain serious as I set my eyes to the view of his window. Damn you, butterflies.
Even though he said he wanted to talk, we stayed in silence for a while. Not talking with Harry was never awkward, because he always made you feel at ease and comfortable around him. It didn’t matter if we talked for hours or if were dead silent all day, it was always great. It was just comfortable, never feeling forced to fill in the silence with weird conversations about the weather or some cousin that was going to get married soon, just to make small talk. It was easy, like waking up on a Sunday morning, with the sun shining through the windows and the tranquility of knowing you don’t have to get up any time soon.
“Did you purposely choose the window ‘cause you know how much I love your view?” I questioned after a while, my eyes roaming over the city lights that flickered outside the big window. It was raining and I knew it was about to get worse outside, but I didn’t care.
“Yeah. I noticed the way you looked at it the first time you came here. I knew you’d have to look at the same spot for a while, so I figured I’d chose something you’d enjoy,” he shrugged in response and I sighed, wanting to get up and hug him. He was so thoughtful sometimes, it made me all gushy about it, the heat finding my cheeks and making it difficult to hold back the smile.
I stopped talking again, the easiness taking over me. A long while went by before I started feeling bored, my eyes a bit heavy with sleep from being silent for so long. I started fidgeting, my fingers reaching for the blanket to play with it as I threw my head back and took a deep breath, moving my shoulders so they wouldn’t be so tense.
“Babe, don’t move, please,” Harry whispered, his green eyes fixing on me from above the canvas, the sound of the strokes of his brush stopping for a moment as he checked my pose.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m bored!” I exclaimed and my hands went to my face as I threw myself back in the little couch. I heard Harry sigh, the little stool he was on scrapping the floor and making a noise as he came to me.
“Kitten, I promise if you stand still for just a bit more, you won’t have to deal with me for much longer,” He said, offering me his hands to pull me up into my position again. I huffed, my shoulders slumping as I sat up and went back to my pose.
My eyes roamed his figure, his hair tied in a bun that was about to fall out, the paint stains all over his hands and his forearm, the shirt ruined and a brush tucked into his pocket, a drop of paint almost falling on his pants and ruining them forever. I acted before I could stop myself, my hands reaching for the brush and then up, a soft strip of baby pink being sloshed across Harry’s cheek, his wide eyes boring into me as I leaned back down, and my hand going to my mouth to cover my laughter. He was so shocked, it was impossible not to laugh.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he let out with a serious tone on his voice that made me freeze in my spot.
“I- I’m sorry!” I breathed out, my hands going up to his face to clean it, but before I could reach it, he stopped me, his big hands wrapping around my wrists. “Harry, I-” I started but he shook his head no, making me swallow my words.
“You think you’re quite funny. Don’t you, love?” He arched an eyebrow, a mean expression taking over his usually soft features and making me shake a little. “You think you can ruin my work and try to be funny…Well, let’s see if you think this is funny!” Before I could register what was happening, he had me flush against him and his fingers went to my sides so he could start to tickle and pinch me,which made me squeal and laugh, pressing my hands to his chest to try to push him away with little to no success.
“Harry, PLEASE!” I exclaimed and he laughed, his green eyes sparkling as he kept torturing me with his hands.
“Not so funny now, is it?” He asked, smiling and making jump when he tickled me harder.
“Stop, stop, STOP PLEASE!” I screamed and I lunched forward and held on to him, catching my breath when he stopped.
“Only ‘cause you said please,” he laughed and I looked up at him, breathless and with my hair wild, my hands scrunching on his shirt. I didn’t know what came over me in that moment, didn’t know if it was the wine I had earlier or the rush of adrenaline running through my veins, but I leaned in, brushing my lips against his for a second, before pulling away in shame, my face burning.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” I started, frenetically trying to get away from him, but he only pulled me closer, his big hands cupping my face and his soft lips brushing mine, our noses touching before I closed my eyes and melted into him, his lips pressing in an urgent kiss. The tip of his tongue roamed my lips, making me open up to him and letting our tongues play in a languid pace, tasting each other slowly. He bit my bottom lip softly, my breath hitching and my hands running up his shoulders to his hair, as I pulled him closer. His hands were hot on my skin, the strong hold he had on my waist making me feel safe. We kissed like we had all the time in the world, taking a while to pull away. Every time he tried to lean back, I followed, not caring about breathing. I just needed more of him, of his smell, of his taste overwhelming my senses and making me dizzy on him.
“Babe, baby, we need to breathe.” He whispered against my lips, pushing me away lightly. I nodded, my swollen lips open in a harsh breathe and I had a hard time looking at him, embarrassed with how needy I knew I looked. “I’ve been meaning to do that for a long time…” He whispered in my ear, kisses being left on the side of my neck and my shoulder. I gasped when he nibbled on my skin and pulled him closer, turning my head to find his lips again.
“I wish you had done it sooner.” I said, pulling him on top of me, the painting long forgotten.
It was weird, thinking about the early days now that we were a year ahead. We had dated for a few months before he asked me to be his girlfriend and now here we were, 8 months later and I was still as, if not more whipped, than the day I met him.
I listened closely to him on the kitchen and a sigh came out of my lips. Who would’ve thought that, even after a connection like ours, we would be slowly drifting apart? The thought alone made me sniff and close my eyes to stop the swelling tears from spilling out. I didn’t need him to see me crying.
It had started a month or so ago, when Harry showed up with this girl at his place, showing her around as I looked at him stunned.
“Babe, this is Kacey,” he had said cheerfully, with a friendly smile on his face as he introduced me to her. It was one of the things he did, he just had to be nice and make people feel welcome. “She’s my partner for the final project this year!”
I gulped, forcing a smile out and saying a tiny hello. I was definitely jealous, yes, which I hated, it wasn’t a feeling I was even used to, but there was something about the way she looked at him that rubbed me the wrong way.
I noticed the way her face lighted up at the sight of him, it was as if she was staring at the face of the sun. I didn’t blame her, though, I was used to seeing girls swooning over Harry, and usually I didn’t care. At the end of the day, he was with me, in my bed, with my arms wrapped tightly around him and our lips pressed into a warm kiss. He was with me after all and that meant I didn’t have to worry.
That was until she got around. I knew projects took time and effort and sometimes you had to spend hours on end working through the night for it to be finished, but it was so clear that for her, this project was just an opportunity to get closer to him. Harry started drifting away, always too tired, always too busy and that’s how I ended up curled up on his sofa, the fear of him not wanting me anymore weighing heavy in my heart, my stomach in knots as I tried to find a way to put an end to the distance that had placed itself between us.
The storm was brewing up outside, the droplets of water hitting hard against the windows when Harry came to the living room. His eyes were heavy with worry and there was a little line across his forehead as he scrunched up his brows, making me want to smooth my finger over it and wash his worries away. Even with the crushing fear of losing him, I was still head over heels for him.
“What’s gotten into you, baby? You’re so quiet,” he asked, the green of his eyes dulled from his deep thoughts.
“Just thinking,” I murmured and he shook his head, throwing the little towel he had in his hands to the side and kneeling in front of me. For the first time I noticed what he was wearing: the same sweater he was wearing the night we met, the checkered pattern and deep colors, big enough so it would swallow him, his broad shoulders looking even better and some black pants, white socks on his feet and his chocolate curls in a lose bun at the top of his head.
“Doesn’t look like just thinking.” He retorted and I sighed, my eyes drifting away from his face before he could read it all. I was an actress, a good actress but I couldn’t pretend around Harry. I could never fake around him because he always saw right through me.
“I just- I have a lot on my mind.” He let out a breath in defeat, head hanging limply on his shoulders and I felt like crying. I knew he was frustrated with me, I knew I was acting like a child but I just couldn’t avoid the anger, the fear and the jealousy that clouded my judgement.
She had given me a reason to feel like this. It wasn’t unjustified hatred or power play, it wasn’t like I was trying to play the victim. I remembered that night clearly, like it was yesterday because it was still so fresh in my memories.
“H, have you seen my jump-“ I started, entering the flat and finding a mess of paint pots and brushes, Harry sleeping soundly on the couch and Kacey perched up next to him, her head turned to his and her eyes locked on his face. “Hi, what are you still doing here Kacey?” I asked, as casually as possible, not wanting to assume anything.
“Just hanging out, Harry ended up falling asleep and I didn’t have the guts to wake him up. Ended up falling asleep myself.” She shrugged, the dark hair falling from her shoulders as she turned to me.
“Would you like me to call you a cab? It’s late and the streets are dangerous.” I asked, smiling at her and pretending the thought of them alone all this time didn’t bother me one bit.
“I’d like that, thank you.” She said and I nodded, reaching for my phone as I gathered the mess on the coffee table. “You know… you’re really lucky to have him.” She started and I could already feel nothing good would come out of this.
“Yes, I am aware. He’s very good to me.” I said, my voice getting a bit dry as the tension grew thicker on the space around us.
“I always had a crush on him, we went on a date once.” The blood on my veins was boiling before I could realize. “I’ll wait for my chance though, don’t wanna be a homewrecker.”
She was out of the flat before I could react, my face livid with the realization of what she had just confessed, my hands shaking a bit and tears welling up on my eyes.
“Hey love, s’good to see you here.” Harry’s raspy voice made me come back from my state of shock. “What’s with the tears?” He asked, getting up from the couch and coming up to me, his hands cupping my face as a worried look took over his features.
“Just hit my toe on the coffee table, no big deal…” I lied, hiding my face in the crook of his neck and inhaling, my arms wrapping around his torso and pulling him closer to me.
“Baby, are you sure everything is ok?” Harry asked again, trying to pull away to look at me but I held him tighter, the hot tears soaking his shirt.
“I’m ok, just hold me, please.”
That was the moment I realized how scared of losing him, how attached I had grown to him, how deeply in love I was with that boy, that man with the boyish smile and eyes as green as the first traces of nature coming back to life after a rough winter, a green so pure and so bright as the hopes of the new season coming. My heart churned with affection and my tummy swirled with butterflies, my hands tightening around his neck. Oh, I was so screwed.
“I know what will cheer you up, babe. How ‘bout a bath?” Harry asked, his eyes hopeful and a gentle smile on his lips. “Know how much you like baths. I even have some of the bath bombs we bought a while ago.” He offered.
The butterflies in my stomach fluttered with the possibility of being so close to him. We hadn’t been intimate for a while now and I felt scared he wouldn’t see me as he used to, but the prospect of having him close again made me nod my head in agreement. The boyish smile I loved so much graced his face and he leaned in, pecking my nose and getting up, disappearing in the hallway that led to his room and bathroom.
I could hear the water running as he filled the bathtub, his raspy voice humming an old Rolling Stones song, the one he always sang when he was about to get in the shower. It was a habit of his I had picked up on it soon and ended up making a habit of my own. I stayed silent, listening to him belting out the lyrics to Loving Cup. I loved when Harry would sing, his voice making me feel all tingly inside and making a warm feeling pool in my center. Couldn’t deny he sounded sexy and he had the right looks of an old 70’s rock star, the perfect mixture of Mick Jagger’s sexiness with Paul McCartney’s romantic heart. I was a sucker for both, which maybe was why I was so attracted to Harry in the first place. The fact that he was a fan of them himself helped us bond and throughout our relationship, we had many moments that were graced by one of the old rock classics. That was something so us, it made me smile, remembering all of the good times we had together while listening to those songs.
He appeared again, offering me his hand and pulling me up, hugging my waist as I stood up. Harry towered over me, his broad shoulders becoming a support as I wrapped myself around him. I knew I looked like a needy little adolescent but I just missed him. I missed the warmth of his hands on my body, I missed his languid and sweet kisses and his raspy voice in the morning. I missed him.
As we entered the bathroom, Harry closed the door behind us and turned to me. I looked at the steaming water, that looked pink and sparkly and smelled like roses.
“I used that lush bath bomb I know you like. Hope that’s ok.” He whispered in my ear as he hugged me from behind.
“That’s ok, thank you.” I whispered back, turning to give him a peck on the cheek. I could see the little shadow that ran through his eyes when I didn’t reach for his lips, but I chose to ignore it. I didn’t feel close enough to kiss him now, my mind too focused on the words that damn girl had said, nearly a month ago.
We were quiet for a few seconds before his hands reached for the hem of my jumper, pulling it up and making me stretch my arms above my head so he could pull it off. Next was the little white top I had underneath, before he reached for the clasp of my bra, pulling the straps down with a light hand and making me breathe in before he took it off. Harry took a step forward, his hands running down my arms before they reached for my leggings as he planted a soft kiss to my shoulder. I smiled, loving the way he invaded my space and made me feel like I was drowning on him, his smell, his warmth.
He pulled the leggings down, kneeling as he pulled on the fabric, my panties coming down as well. He was being very affectionate, the sweetness in his gestures letting me know he was completely unaware of why I was feeling so down. I could see he was trying to make me feel better, he was making an effort and that meant so much, it made my heart flutter and beat harder on my chest. Harry kissed up my thigh, his hands running up my legs, my stomach, brushing my breasts before he wrapped them around my face and made me look up at him. A shiver ran down my spine, the look in his eyes making me want to run and hide. He looked at me like he did the first time we were together, a certain fascination burning in the emerald green of his orbs, the intensity of it making me shiver all over.
“I missed you,” Harry whispered, his eyes heavy with want and I gasped, feeling my eyes swell with tears. Closing them in order to hide my minor break down, I reached for his sweatpants, taking his focus away from my face and to my hands, that pushed down the black fabric as well as his white boxers. After, I grasped his shirt, pulling it up over his head and letting fall to the floor as I looked at his chest, the ink on his skin even more beautiful now that I hadn’t seen it in a while.
“Miss you too.” I could hear the catch in his breath when he heard me and it made something in my heart hurt. This wasn’t just about me. He was affected by our distance too, I just didn’t realize it before, my jealousy clouding my vision and my thoughts.
Harry didn’t say anything after that. He just moved to the bathtub, getting in first, the scolding water making his pale skin redden immediately. He offered me his hand and helped me get in, pulling me to sit between his legs before I could move away. I relaxed into him, my head leaning back on his shoulder, his arms wrapping around my middle as we settled in. I could feel him kissing up my shoulder, my neck, the scorching heat of the water being nothing compared to the heat of his lips on my skin after so long. He ran his hands over my legs, before he reached for the liquid soap on the side of the tub and squirted a bit on his hand, rubbing them together and started roaming them up my arms, my stomach, cupping my breasts and running up the inside of my thighs. I reached up, my hand going to his neck, under his hair and rubbing the tender skin there, feeling Harry relax against me.
“What’s gotten into you, kitten?” He questioned, worry tainting his voice. “You’re so quiet, so… distant.” He acknowledged and it made me sigh. “Did I do something?”
“It wasn’t you, it’s never you.” I said, before he could think otherwise. I swallowed, the tears already pooling in eyes again before I could even get a word out. “Don’t want you to be mad and to think I’m a jealous bitch or something-“ I started, swallowing a sob and scooting away from him, sitting on the other side of the tub and hiding my face in my hands.
“Kitten, did something happen? I need you t- I need you to talk to me. I’m worried.” He said, his voice sounding hurt and scared.
“It’s jus- that damn girl!” I exclaimed, tired of keeping it to myself, the tears flowing freely now that I started talking. “She told me about how you guys went on a date and how she met you first and it makes me so mad!” Now that I had started, it was like I couldn’t stop. All the built up anger and frustration and jealousy pouring out in waves. “She got to spend time with you, all this months while you two worked in your project and all the while I knew she was just waiting for her chance to be with you again..”
“Kacey?” Harry asked, after a minute of stunned silence. “I had… no idea, she bothered you that much.” He admitted, looking distressed. “If I had known… I wouldn’t have let you distance yourself like this. I just figured you needed some space.”
“She said she’d wait for her chance, to my face. How did you expect me to react?!” I blurted out, my face feeling hot and red with the tears. “All those late nights and jokes you two had, I thought I w-“ I started but a sob rocked my body, making me hide my face before I could continue. “I thought I was losing you. I know you wouldn’t do anything but, God, I was so scared you didn’t want me anymore.”
“Kitten, c’mon. Please, stop crying.” He whispered, his hand wrapping around my wrist and pulling me closer to him. The water sloshed around us, making a mess on the floor but he didn’t seem to care. He pulled me up on his lap, a strong arm around me as the other reached to cup my face. “Kitten, it was one date, ages ago. I never even begin to like her and it was just a coincidence that we got paired up in class. If I had known it bothered you that much, I would’ve done something about it.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” I shook my head, leaning into his touch.
“But at least I could’ve put your worries to rest.” He sounded sad and tired. His eyes looked intently at mine, regret stamped onto his expression. “I need you to know something and-“ He started, pulling me even closer. “I don’t want you think I’m saying this because of all of this, ok?”
I nodded, my stomach doing back flips and my head hurting from all the crying.
“I love you.” Harry said and I felt like all the air had been punched out of my lungs. “I love you and I was waiting because that’s not how I wanted to tell you this but I do and it’s been driving me crazy for months and I-“ I couldn’t wait for him to finish, my hands wrapping around his neck as I pulled him to me, our lips connecting in a harsh kiss. I felt pins prickling my skin, his taste overwhelming my senses and making me dizzy. Kissing him again, for real, after being left with quick pecks and forehead goodbye kisses was like breathing again after being stuck under water for too long.
“I love you too.” I breathed out, breathing in bullets as I tried to recover from the shock.
“Thank God, I was starting to think you didn’t want me anymore, you were so distant.” Harry said, his eyes a bit panicked as he looked at me and pulled me tighter in his embrace.
“Never, no! I could never, I love you, God damn it, I love you!” I whimpered out and leaned in again, catching his lips in another hungry kiss. My hands roamed his chest, tangling in his hair as I pulled on it, my leg hitching over his hip and making us fit together, his hands grabbing me by my hips as tight as he could, sure to leave marks.
It felt like a new fire was started inside me, like I was burning from the inside, the flames consuming my being every time he touched me in a new part of my body or his tongue flicked against mine. I was losing all of my sanity, letting myself be consumed by his taste and his kisses, his hands becoming my personal heaven as they roamed my skin.
“I need you.” I moaned out, the desperate need in my voice enough to make Harry lift up, taking me up with him. We went out of the bathtub, careful not to slip and fall because we could be a bit clumsy when in a hurry. Not caring about the water or the floors, or the sheets, Harry took me in his arms, the feeling of our skin touching without any barrier making me breathe in and smile.
As he laid me down and hovered over me, I looked up into his eyes. After everything we had been through, being like this with him again was like having come back to life, a glass of water after being thirsty in the desert for days on end. I looked at him, taking in his nakedness and the way the ink looked even harsher against his pale skin now that he was wet. My hands roamed the cut of his hips and the soft pudginess of his sides, nails racking the sensitive skin as he took a deep breathe in. Pulling him down by his necklaces that dangled in between us, I wrapped my arms around his body as he bear hugged me, his face hiding on my neck as he breathed me in.
“I missed your smell and your lips,” He whispered to my ear, a sweet kiss being planted on top of my chest, where my heart was beating hard against my ribcage. “I missed you. Don’t ever do this again, Kitten. I can’t be without you.”
I nodded feverishly, running my hands up his arms, to take them around his shoulders and to his neck, and finally tangling my fingers on his hair where I was able to play with the strands, the smell of him clouding my senses.
“I promise I won’t. I was blind and I didn’t want to lose you to h-“ I started, but before I could finish, Harry was cutting me off with a kiss, his tongue dipping in and touching mine softly.
“No more about her,” he whispered against my lips, and I could feel every one of his words as they crashed against my skin. “It doesn’t matter, it was never did and never will,” his words were vehement, and just what I needed to ease up the knot that had formed in my tummy and that was threatening to eat me up. “I want you, I love you.”
With that, he pulled away from me and knelt in front of me, settling between my legs, which went to either side of his body. I looked at him as he took me in, wandering his body over my body and taking his time to look at every corner, nook and cranny of my body, every curve, scar and birth mark. He was learning my body again and I felt like I was on fire. The heat of his gaze was enough to burn down cities and forests and it felt like we were connecting again, after so much time apart. With every second, I felt closer to him, with every brush of his fingers against my thighs, my tummy, I felt as if he was bringing back the intimacy we were lacking before.
“You’re so beautiful. My pretty girl,” he croaked out, his voice burning with want and raspy with arousal and it made the butterflies in my stomach do backflips.
“I’m yours.” I whispered and he nodded, breathing in as he leaned down to hover over me.
“You are. Just mine. My girl.” He whispered in my ear and pressed a kiss to my jaw, going down my neck and stopping at my collarbones, where he sucked harder, making me sigh. I knew he was leaving his mark, just the way he liked it.
His kisses didn’t stop, in fact, they became more frequent and I felt like he was trying to map out my body with his lips. Not a bit of skin was left untouched and as he reached my center, I felt like I was ready to melt. He kissed my hips, down my navel until he reached my slit.
With his hands on both of my thighs, he opened me up slowly and eyed between my legs. The look on his eyes, as he scooted down and leveled with my center made me shudder, preparing myself for whatever he wanted to do. Kissing both of my thighs, Harry leaned in, his tongue running up my slit in a slow motion, from top to bottom then up again before he closed his lips around my clit, sucking lightly and making me breathe out a moan.
“I missed your taste…” He moaned out, opening me up with two fingers and circling my entrance with his tongue. I gasped at the feeling of it as it dipped in, clutching the sheets between my fingers as he moved it slowly, almost in circular motions that pressed to my walls, to quickly pull it out as his eyes glinted mischievously.
I looked at him, unable to tear my eyes from the dark green of his eyes, where the pupil had blown out in pure lust. I saw him rubbing circles on my clit and moving his tongue slowly from my entrance, steady little movements that would reached up to my clit and press to it in a kiss before he was going down again. I mewled, asking for more before I could stop myself and he chuckled in response, adding the cold feeling of his fingers as a single one entered me, at the same time his lips finally wrapped around my clit, sucking lightly on it as I felt the sharp thrust of his hand exploring me.
“Harry, pl-please” I begged, rolling my hips up so I could meet his mouth.
“Please what, kitten?” He asked, his green eyes locked into mine, the intensity of his gaze letting me know I’d have to say whatever it was he had on his mind.
“Please, pl-please. I need more.” I asked, letting out a strangled and frustrated huff when he pulled his finger out and looked at me with more than satisfaction. He was enjoying it, every bit of it, every beg and every shallow breath, he loved it was because of him.
“More of what?” he asked. “This?” His tongue pressed flat to my slit and I arch my back as I felt every ridge and bump of it going slowly up, plump wet lips pulling on my clit as the vibration of his voice set on. “Or is it this?” he asked curiously, letting his tongue curled around the little bud before he drew a simple and perfect 8 figure on it with his tip, the movement sending shivers up my spine and causing a stifled moan to burst out as he did it once more, playing slowly with it until it throbbed and he trapped it again between his lips.
“Yes, yes, this. All of it.” I moaned loud when two of his fingers once again pressed to my entrance, the palm of his hand facing up as he slowly let them in and he started to thrust them, making me squirm as his tongue lapped quickly on my clit.
“You’re so wet for me, kitten. Such a good girl for me,” he whispered in a hoarse, the warmth of his breath making the little hairs on the nape of my neck raise up, and my skin burn as he pressed his lips to the inner of one of my thighs, where he sucked and nipped until I couldn’t hold it anymore and I found myself pushing my hips down for him to pay attention to them. “You taste so sweet…” It was all I could hear before he dipped back in. This time, there was no mercy, he licked and sucked, every one of his movements sending a wave of currents up to my tummy, where they pooled in a heated tension that made my whole body quiver. His hands went to the back of my thighs, pressing his fingers to my skin to push me closer to him.
“Harry, I’m- baby, I’m gonna-“ I didn’t know it would happen so fast, but my body was already in flames. His lips closed around my clit and sucking hard, he looked up at me as I succumbed to the fire that ran up my skin, moving his fingers even faster as I screamed out his name. I curled my fingers around his hair and pulled on it while I felt control slip down my fingers. My hips rocked up and down, and with every movement, I felt Harry’s tongue sliding down, grunting as he threw his arm around my waist and pulled me down to the bed. As if to show me who was the boss, he went even harder and his fingers became sharper, rubbing on my spongy walls after every thrust. It was all too much, deliriously good and I couldn’t handle it. Before I could even realize, my legs were shutting around his head, keeping him against me. “Oh, damn, Harry, aah!” I exclaimed when he pumped harder, going for all I had.
I felt like I could breathe again when he stopped, his hands pressing to my legs to push them apart and allow him to sit up between them. I saw him take his fingers to him mouth and pop them in, so he could lick them clean like they were a dessert. The vision too much for me to handle, it got my legs shaking again and my poor mouth watering, so I sat up and crawled to him, locking our lips in a kiss that had me in shambles. Having him tasting like me, as he licked into my mouth like he was hungry and couldn’t get enough, was enough to make me moan or maybe the almost animalistic sound was because his fingers were running down to my center again to let him play around with my clit.
“You, I wanna taste you…” I breathed out, rolling my hips against his hand and pulling his hair. I’d never get enough of his lips and his kisses. They were slow but strong, sensual but sweet, like he was drinking me in and hypnotizing me.
“Later, Baby. I want you now,” He shook his head and I whined, begging before I could stop myself.
“Please, I miss it. Let me just have a taste,” I asked and he groaned, pulling me to his lap in a swift movement. I smiled at this, crawling up on the bed until I was settled on my knees and was able to grab him in my trembling fingers. I held him up, licking up my lips before I brushed them over his glistening tip. It tasted just a bit salty and a lot sweeter than I remembered and I let my tongue rub over it before I let them in, lips sucking on it like a lollipop, while I looked at him. I was being deliberately slow, letting him enjoy it the way I licked and taste, kissed and sucked on him. I knew it drove him crazy and I wanted him to be crazy about me.
“Fuck, kitten.” He let out, his hands going to his face to rub at it. He did that when he wanted to reign himself in, control the need that burned on his belly. He was hard, the head pink, pre-come dripping from the tip and I deep hiss echoed in the rooms when my fingers grazed over the balls, carefully moving up his shaft until it met my lips and I pulled away to stroke him completely. It wasn’t supposed to be pretty or nice, but Harry had the most perfect cock I had ever seen. The smooth skin, the pink and shiny head, long and thick, just thinking about it made my mouth water. “I love your pretty little mouth, f-fuck me.” He moaned, breathing out harshly.
Leaning in again, I took him in my mouth, pressing my tongue flat against his shaft as I let him slide all the way in and then, pulling him slowly and sucking on his tip before I did it all over again. My hand never stopped moving, pumping his fast as I focused on the tip and teased his slit to then run down my tongue down his shaft and sucked on his balls. His taste was heavy and overwhelming and I sighed deeply as I went a little faster, letting my tongue swirl against his skin. I was about to begin all over again when he sat up and he tangled his fingers on my hair, pulling me up carefully to look at me with a deep frown set between his brows.
My knees were wobbly went I got up and I was almost thankful when Harry made me lie down again. Planting a kiss on both my knees, he smiled. “Open up for me, kitten. Need to see you.”
I groaned as I spread my legs further, looking at him as he smiled, lining himself to my entrance and pressing in. The feeling of his cock stretching me up, the pain and the pleasure made a shiver run down my body, making me shake and whine his name, clutching the sheets on my sides.
“God damn it, you’re so tight…” Harry groaned, his eyes closing around the feeling as he leaned forward and thrust deeper, a gasp catching in my throat. “So warm and wet for me, you’re perfect for me kitten, perfect- fuck, fuck me.” He moaned, teeth biting onto my shoulder lightly.
“Harry, move, please move, I need you t-“ I let out and he thrust once, a grunt coming out of his lips in time with mine.
He moved slow as he kissed my lips, swallowing the noises we both made and connecting every broken piece of me back together again. It felt like we were the same person, glued together and connected, the same breath and heartbeat.
I opened my mouth without making any sound, looking at him as that feeling settled again in my tummy, wanting his closer, deeper, harder. I pressed my legs around him and I pushed him down to me, so I could kiss him and feel him completely. I loved that he was making love to me, showing me just how much he missed me, missed us, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more, I needed all of him.
“Harry, more. I need more.” I whispered to his ear, biting his lobe softly and he shuddered and leaned, kneeling between my legs. Without saying a word, he pushed my legs up towards my chest, using one hand to hold them still and the other to line himself to me, and thrust down and straight to my spot, hitting it once, twice, over and over, his speed building up with time. “Fuck baby, fucking hell, I can feel you everywhere, damn it.” I exclaimed, my voice hoarse with the moans and the grunts. The feeling was almost unbelievable, he filled me up and I was almost delirious for him, letting my hands roll to the back of my head.
My legs were trembling as he continued and all I could hear were the worked up moans he was letting out. I pressed my hand to his chest and I scratched on his skin, taking my opportunity as he slowed down to push him off to the bed and roll over him.
I sat astride him, I smirked, letting my hand run down his bare skin before I wrapped my fingers around his cock and lined him up to sink down on it. Harry groaned, his hands grasping my hips with force. When he was fully in, I could feel my walls throbbing around him as I clenched, feeling completely full and out of my mind, drunk on him.
I moved in wave like motions, rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone and supporting myself on his chest, my nails scratching the skin. I was feeling dizzy and weak but the coil in my belly swelled up and burned, the need to let go too strong but I didn’t want to stop just yet. I needed to see him lose his mind because of me, just like I did for him every time. Harry sat up, his arms wrapping around my body, lips sucking one of my nipples into his warm mouth before he cupped the other, pinching the hardened nub and making me roll my hips faster and harder against him.
“Look at you, so good for me. So pretty sitting on my cock, kitten.” He whispered against my skin, biting on my neck and sucking another mark, his hands rolling my hips faster.
I was already shaking, out of breath and with tears swelling in my eyes, the balloon inside me ready to pop and too strong to ignore. I knew he could feel it, the way he looked at me told me he knew I was about to crash and burn within him. He reached down, thumb pressing to my clit, and he pulled me to a kiss, his tongue licking into my mouth as I chanted his name, mixed with pleas and moans.
“You’re gonna cum for me, baby girl?” He asked and I wrapped my arms around his neck, hiding my face on the crook of his neck and breathing out a cry.
“Not yet.” I denied, but it was futile to fight against my body. I knew it was coming, but I was trying my hardest to hold it in.
“C’mon kitten, I wanna see you cum on my cock.” He asked and I shook my head no, moving faster and clenching around him. “Fuck, that’s it baby. I can feel how full you are, ready to burst…”
Without letting me say as much as word in, he turned us around, plunging down and pumping, hitting my spot precisely with every thrust and making me scream out, the balloon bursting and making me see white, as I shook on his arms. He was shaking, his breathing harsh and his grunts louder as he kept going, before I felt him fill me up, coming in hot spurts and coating my insides, making me shake again.
My thighs were trembling, my vision blurry and my lungs aching for air as Harry kissed up my torso, pulling out and making me whine, missing the feeling of him. He kissed my lips, pink lips and all, teeth biting my bottom lip and pulling, eyes lulled with tiredness and a flush to his cheeks and chest.
“I love you.” He said it again, the feeling burning in his eyes and making me tear up.
“I love you too.” I nodded, cuddling up to his side, kissing his chest and hiding my face on the crook of his neck.
“I think” He was panting, but kept talking anyway. “In light of this events, it’s time you move in with me. Don’t you?” He asked.
My heart almost jumped out my throat but I kept still, by his side, my hand going up his neck and tangling in his sweaty curls. I leaned up, locking my eyes with his and smiled, kissing the tip of his nose before licking our lips.
***
Tell me if you like it or if you have any ideas for a next one shot!
