some loser: humans are innately selfish creatures

my psych book:

This machine kills AI

“Kneel.”

Once again I’ve become overly conscious over the fact that I’m really just a brain with tendrils controlling a meat mecha😔

Y’all… this dumb joke I made got viral on twitter and pissed of a LOT of right-wing philosophers and fundamentalists yesterday, it’s actually wild.

These are the types of dudes who cry about leftists getting triggered while they literally froth at the mouth at the sight of a meme drawing

congratulations tumblr! here is your car:

“so I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people who do”

Winner!

Congratulations to Kiana Kaslana, the winner of the Hoyowomen tournament!

Honorable mentions to Furina in second place, Collei and Nahida in third, and Elysia, because I forgot her a while back.

Thank you so much for participating!

barbecue dad laughs at other barbecue dad and says grill issue

barbecue dad laughs

at other barbecue dad

and says grill issue

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

@kgmarcy 's psyduck is tasked with the errand of purchasing a potion at the corner store. its just the show Old Enough but with pokemon

{ID - black and white digital comic of a Psyduck (a short, chubby duck pokemon) being sent on an errand by its trainer.

The Psyduck looks up at its trainer as they fit it with a Stuffle (teddy bear pokemon) backpack. It is then turned around and ushered away. The trainer waves fondly and then whispers, "Go, go, go!"

Psyduck looks back with teary eyes, then steps slowly away. It gets about five steps away before it stops, to the trainer's surprise. It then drops to a sit and starts to sob loudly. The trainer looks incredibly distressed.

END ID}

I wonder why

get you a friend that loves hearing infodumps

Sometimes she's too chaotically weird in a funny way

One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well I’m Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. I’m Greek.

One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I’m not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said “oh no I’m Brazilian hahah” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, “I’m Brazilian too”

When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasn’t great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasn’t great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadn’t studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. I’m sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.

Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China.  One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot.  The problem was that he didn’t speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.

I love the world

I was working at a fast food restaurant and a very lost Sikh man showed up in a turban. He was a bit overwhelmed by the food choices.

One of the ladies from the kitchen nudged me away from the cash “I got this”, and another lady quickly took over at the grill. Lady at the cash was… Tamil? Maybe? The lady at the grill was Nepalese. They chatted with the Sikh man, told him what food options met his dietary/religious constraints, and reassured him that the food was made properly. He left feeling happy and welcome in my city.

After he left they told me that they were all speaking Hindi, which was a second/third language for all of them.

We should have this everywhere forever

yeah ok

These two are amazing!

@x-heesy 💃🏻🕺🏻 Friday vibes!

I want whatever it is that these two have

Context! This is called a Jack and Jill! It's a contest in a style called West Coast Swing.

Here's the thing... it's ALL improv. The whole thing. And those two? Randomly matched.

Dance is a sport where strangers fall madly in love for a few minutes. And I need more all the time.

damn, what sorcery that she's doing that in BOOTS?

I’m sorry, wait stop. That was IMPROV???

Dance like this is a magic I just can’t fathom.

Oh yeah the fun thing about being even a base level performance dancer is that you can actively see their communication the entire time! Some of it is more obvious than other but if this was choreographed they wouldn’t need to communicate hardly at all. Lemme break down a few spots!

The moment in the beginning when they started dancing helped them set the tone and energy for eachother so they knew what type of dancing to expect, and they proceeded to pull from that vibe the entire time.

Around the quarter mark when they’re spinning around, green shirt looks at purple shirt’s feet, watching to see if purple was going to move. Purple then takes that and begins to move backwards, into the hand switch (which would have been far more fluid choreographed) and as purple raises their arm, green does the dramatic lean back utilizing the visual element of her hair. Unclear if purple necessarily was the reason but they were definitely asking for some sort of flair and green definitely delivered.

An easier one to see was that the trust fall was not planned but you could see the Very Direct Communication from the purple to the green offering that opportunity. Green didn’t have to take it but when they saw the opportunity they then positioned themselves and timed it with the music so the drop in the music coincided with their torso hitting purple’s arms.

Also the little coordinated butt wiggle at the end when green let purple lead was hilarious loved that.

There’s more but I don’t feel like giving a play-by-play but maybe y’all can see more of it now that I’ve pointed out examples! Remember folks, dancing with others is about communication!

This line killed me

These two are amazing!

@x-heesy 💃🏻🕺🏻 Friday vibes!

I want whatever it is that these two have

Context! This is called a Jack and Jill! It's a contest in a style called West Coast Swing.

Here's the thing... it's ALL improv. The whole thing. And those two? Randomly matched.

Dance is a sport where strangers fall madly in love for a few minutes. And I need more all the time.

damn, what sorcery that she's doing that in BOOTS?

I’m sorry, wait stop. That was IMPROV???

Dance like this is a magic I just can’t fathom.

Oh yeah the fun thing about being even a base level performance dancer is that you can actively see their communication the entire time! Some of it is more obvious than other but if this was choreographed they wouldn’t need to communicate hardly at all. Lemme break down a few spots!

The moment in the beginning when they started dancing helped them set the tone and energy for eachother so they knew what type of dancing to expect, and they proceeded to pull from that vibe the entire time.

Around the quarter mark when they’re spinning around, green shirt looks at purple shirt’s feet, watching to see if purple was going to move. Purple then takes that and begins to move backwards, into the hand switch (which would have been far more fluid choreographed) and as purple raises their arm, green does the dramatic lean back utilizing the visual element of her hair. Unclear if purple necessarily was the reason but they were definitely asking for some sort of flair and green definitely delivered.

An easier one to see was that the trust fall was not planned but you could see the Very Direct Communication from the purple to the green offering that opportunity. Green didn’t have to take it but when they saw the opportunity they then positioned themselves and timed it with the music so the drop in the music coincided with their torso hitting purple’s arms.

Also the little coordinated butt wiggle at the end when green let purple lead was hilarious loved that.

There’s more but I don’t feel like giving a play-by-play but maybe y’all can see more of it now that I’ve pointed out examples! Remember folks, dancing with others is about communication!

This line killed me

unironically this is what sheer absolute delight looks like

Ever hear an Andean cock of the rock before? Probably not, or maybe you have and didn't realise it, because they sound quite a bit like a kookaburra!

Kookaburra laugh: just absolutely losing it at some silly nonsense

Cock of the rock laugh: you are about to die to an Evil Scientist Device

Motion-sensor-activated Halloween decoration on its last legs.