it was comedic, in a way, how every being & thing relied on time as if it held all answers. if things didn’t go well, it just wasn’t the right time. when others died, either at a young age or not, it was their time. how we told the days with the sun rising and counted the nights with the sun setting. and how, no matter how much he wanted to, rhenzy couldn’t get back the time he missed out on with jude. he tried to make up for it, stuck to the other like glue & spent most, if not all, his days with him but it still didn’t feel enough. maybe it was selfish or a stupid idea, but, rhenzy wanted all of him, not just bits and pieces. he allowed himself, and his now tanned skin, a break from the rays of the hawaiian sun as he laid in bed scrolling through his phone when a text from the same person intruding his thoughts popped on the screen. bare feet quickly landed on the floor as he ran towards the window and saw that jude really was leaned up against a car, arms folding over themselves. before he could think it through, his hands filled a random backpack with clothes he found laying around that most likely belonged to his roommate but he would apologize with a cute smile and probably with getting his ass beat later. he slips on his worn out white vans and runs down the stairs and out the house. “where are we going?” he prompts, ignoring a greeting and smiling big as he stops in front of jude, eyes enjoying the view before him. 

jude grinned wide in return as rhen approached---and there’s the first breath of relief he can let slip past his lips. with rhen standing there, suddenly he isn’t sure why he was so nervous to begin with. “we’re going on a uh... small road trip. there’s this spot i found, about... two hours away?” he rubbed over the ink on his neck. a force of habit he’d never kick. “and i’m not even gonna try to pronounce the name of it, but---it’s got black sand and kind of a gorgeous view. i thought we could check it out together,” he explains with a simple, kind tilt of his head, before reaching out to take rhen’s bag and stick it in the back seat. “so get your ass in the car and we can get a move on. i wanna get there before sunset. y’know, for good pictures or whatever.” 

once in the car, he couldn’t drive away from the villa fast enough. while jude did love their friends and the home away from home they’d made here for themselves, there was always a part of him that needed to escape from it for a while. too many heads under one roof and whatnot, making it too hard for him to think. especially about this thing he and rhen were doing. whatever it was. and for him to figure it out, well, he could do without all the meddling. “you can take over the music,” he offered---quite the invitation from jude ahn, resident music snob. but for as long as he’d known rhenzy, the other boy had been mostly exempt from his snobbish tendencies. maybe it was because of all the idiots from summer camp that rhen threatened for jude, or the way he’d always pick him over anyone else. rhen had always been allowed past that barrier he put up. and those memories were too fond to him, despite knowing he had the heaviest hand in tarnishing them. but he’d hold onto whatever he could, because if the past few weeks with rhen taught jude anything, it’s that they were still the same. still the same mirrors of each other. still the same dumb kids with skinned knees and bad haircuts who were always okay as long as they were together. and it was comforting---something for jude to cling to when all he really wanted was to retreat into himself.

jade was sat by the edge of the pool, watching yuki wade around and come back to the steps. she was so proud watching her pup jump back into the pool even after she would gently put her back up onto ground next to her. she felt like she’d stolen yuki from that puppy store so long ago, and the pup certainly wasn’t as small as she was back then. jade looked up at jude with a smile as he came to sit beside her, but it faded once he announced he was the bearer of bad news. “what… how bad?” she said quietly, coaxing yuki out of the water. when she was told it was about bear, she knew it was bad. really bad–especially if jude was the one telling her instead of them. “what’s wrong with him? why didn’t mom or dad call me?” she said, eyes already watering. it wasn’t rocket science. it wasn’t too far-fetched to expect the worst. unsure if she wanted to know the answer, jade asked her question anyway. “…what happened to bear? what did they do to him?” 

jude exhaled before finding the right words to continue. it was better this way. too vivid were his own memories of losing sasha all those years ago and being lied to about what happened to her. he knew his sister deserved a gentle kind of honesty. that’s the kind of person she was. “to start off, it wasn’t their fault, and they really did everything they could for him...” he began, looking down at their hands before looking back up at her. “he got sick after eating something he shouldn’t have. when mom and dad noticed, they tried taking him to the vet to get it fixed. really, they wanted to try anything they could, but the surgery just---it would have been too expensive. and too far away to even get there in time... they made the best decision they could in the moment, so that he wouldn’t suffer or be in pain...” he squeezed her hand tighter. “and he wasn’t in any pain, jade. but i’m so sorry, and i’m right here for you.”

how stupid. he was nervous. and for what? he couldn’t understand. rarely did anything make jude too nervous these days, especially not a day spent with someone whose face he was so very well acquainted with. yet here he was, restlessly shuffling the car keys in his hand as he pulled out his phone to text rhen. ‘hey. we’re goin on a trip today. possibly overnight... so sorry if u had plans. meet me outside the house asap :P’, he shot off the message, quickly tucking his phone back into his pocket and leaning back against the car as he heaved a sigh. maybe it was all the planning he put into this that had his fingers fumbling just the slightest bit as he double-checked the car and everything inside it. because maybe this was lame; a nostalgic venture back to a childhood friendship both of them missed too dearly, and worked so hard the past few months to resalvage the pieces of. he wanted this to be right. because things between him and rhen had such a nasty habit of going so, so wrong. and they’d missed out on far too much of each other’s lives. it wasn’t supposed to be that way, and it wasn’t gonna be like that anymore. not if jude had any say in it, at least. this was gonna end up just fine, he reassured himself, arms crossing over his chest as he waited.

a somber air hung over him as he ended the call with his mom. he can’t remember the last time she sounded so sad over the phone, not when all their calls for the past year had been happy check ups. this was nowhere near that. he set his phone down, steeling himself for a conversation he wasn’t sure he was ready to have with jade, but knew he needed to. his parents were right, she had to hear it from him. after a deep breath and squeezing his fists tight a couple times, he got up to go find her where he’d last seen her. 

stepping out of the villa, he approached jade by the pool, thankful she wasn’t surrounded by her usual entourage---but instead with yuki, watching the small dog paddle through the water. “hey,” he spoke softly, sitting beside her, unsure of where to start. “listen... i just got off the phone with mom and dad. they uh, they had some bad news.” taking his sister’s hand, he held it snugly in his own as he looked up at her. “it’s about bear, jade. i don’t know if you want to take yuki out of the water... and hold onto her maybe...”

@judewho

“you know i’m a horrible friend. i think you’re well aware and i’m well aware. the whole house may be as well?” graham’s head tilted to one side as his eyes scanned the familiarity of jude’s features. he’s never fought with the other, instead to open up the tsundere he would only be a hummingbird flying around him and about. it was enough to explain their relationship but these days, it was mostly graham being reserved to himself. “jude i’m sorry, okay?” for once his voice remained steady and firm, “you and i have been friends for so long and i ‘m sorry for breaking a trust and your heart.” he pleaded along with a long sigh falling from his lips. “jude i can’t take back what i did but i can try and make it right and i’m sorry i didn’t come back sooner or apologize sooner but, because i didn’t think you ever wanted to see my face or anything but whatever this is worth.. i’m so so so sorry.”

jude sebastian ahn was born in the dead of a chilly winter night on december 28th, at 3:06am in cherry hill, new jersey. looking over his chart and the descriptors of the signs he fell under, i honestly can’t say i disagreed with many of them. perhaps the structured rigidness described in capricorns is a bit less present in jude’s personality, but overall everything does seem to match pretty well. 

RHENZY: what about now RHENZY: im like tinkerbell RHENZY: need attention to live :) RHENZY: well . NOW ill never be mad at u :/ 

JUDE: there u go. freakin adorable. JUDE: tinkerbell huh JUDE: i see it JUDE: that nickname could stick y’kno JUDE: i sure hope so :/ cause i like missed u or whatever ://

RHENZY: is this cute enough RHENZY: i want attention :P RHENZY: no :/ i could never be mad at u 

JUDE: ngl u look a little scary JUDE: could go cuter JUDE: but that works, attention’s here :) JUDE: u sure abt that :/

RHENZY: what do u recommend RHENZY: oh word :/// RHENZY: that hurt my feelings 

JUDE: jst send a cute pic n say u want attention JUDE: straightforward n it works for me :P JUDE: sorry, are u mad :/

RHENZY: because im BORED and want ATTENTION :( RHENZY: also duh do u think im a HEATHEN

JUDE: im sure there are better ways to ask for attention JUDE: uh.. yeah, sometimes :// JUDE: u have ur moments