Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say Part 3
"If a leaf fell on your face and stayed there, would you eat it?" "Wait. What kind of leaf?"
"One time I broke my finger during school, but I just ignored it because I had a test the next period."
"I just chugged four bottles of lemonade and ate half a bowl of Milky Ways, I'm ready to go!"
"You can't do the splits to achieve your destiny."
"Amoebas don't breathe."
"I hate this, even though it's to my advantage."
"We've gotta trick Ryan Gosling into being a furry."
"Who is Mac, and why is he cheesy?"
"Ah ha! All I have to do is ram myself into trees!"
"You smell like a piece of shoe."
"I love contagion food."
"Today I cried listening to the Trolls soundtrack."
"Ah, but this is a good thing! It just means I can begin manufacturing leg irons!"
"If you don't do it, I'll put the paperclips back in my ears."
"I thought we were gonna be furries together."
"Oh no, they're trying to be relatable!"
"I've got some sick hula-hooping tricks."
"Is that a pair of pants with no body?"
"Get schooled by a cucumber picker!"
"Your flowers are fat." "They're still pretty." "They're pretty fat."
"Your mouth, your money."
"All the money we've paid for violin and piano and voice, and the chicken noise is what gets them every time."
"Hey! No one coughs on my mom!"
"Yes, a Roaring 20s themed wedding!... but also dragons!"
"Everyone must come in their best armor."
"They do match! This one says "I love British boys", and the other is a picture of Zayn, who is a British boy!"
"I clip my nails, and they keep growing back!"
"Congrat! A single congration, no congrats for you."
"This is my finished."
"Memes will be the death of this country."
"I am ready for death to claim me."
"Sasquatch and stretch."