..But not to me..

— almost is the saddest word to be said. | a.s.

Story of my fucking life

Ao3 writers are the strongest Avengers

Seven Sentences Thursday

Thank you @myfavouritelunatic and @pursuitseternal for tagging me!!

This snippet comes from my Reylo fic The Lost and the Lonely...a chapter is coming soon!

Shaken to his core, Armitage stumbled to the nearest rose bush, drawing strength from the fragrant, beautiful blooms that now dotted the entire Labyrinth.

No matter how young or old Armitage was, he always came back to his roses. They had been the flower his mother loved, the one scent that comforted him when she died. After every beating, he'd smell a rose, needing some reminder that he was not as awful as he seemed, that beautiful, new life could sprout from this pitiful, insignificant seed.

As much as he hated himself and his puny plant magic, he loved his roses. They were the only beauty to blossom out of his miserable existence, except for maybe his friends. Each deep inhale of the red rose restored a little more of his calm so that he could think reasonably again, even if he was still fuming about Rey.

There you go! A Hux-centric chapter is on the way! Tagging @burnt-kloverfield @my-jedi-life @biekewieke @beatrixacs and anyone else who wants to participate!

rebelcaptain redraw

ADAM DRIVER as MILLS           Every ADAM DRIVER scene from 65 (2023)| Part 57

ADAM DRIVER as MILLS           Every ADAM DRIVER scene from 65 (2023)| Part 58

ADAM DRIVER as MILLS           Every ADAM DRIVER scene from 65 (2023)| Part 59

Not so secret admirer and Not so subtle admirer

I actually cried when @gopherbroke gifted me this amazing Reylo Halloween art this morning. 

At the beginning of the month, we talked about what costumes Rey and Kylo would wear for Halloween in my fic, Broken Things, but I never expected to be gifted something so amazing. She is beyond talented and has such a kind heart, I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS. 

It’s honestly just beyond beautiful and I can’t thank her enough <3

I also wrote a Broken Things one-shot featuring The Princess Bride costumes and all the fluff, which I’ll post below.

If you haven’t read Broken Things and want to, you can right here!

———-

“I, uh, I don’t know how I feel about this,” Kylo said, and Rey turned around just in time to see him pulling at the black pants molded around his thighs.

Admittedly, they were a little tight. But damn, she wasn’t complaining. Not when it meant she got to admire every inch of his thick, powerful legs encased in black leather.

He turned around to look in the mirror again and her mouth went dry at the sight of his ass in those form-fitting pants. Nope, she wasn’t complaining one bit. Not one single bit.

“I think you look great,” she told him honestly. “And it’s too late to turn back, you’ve already committed.”

Kylo grimaced. “How was I supposed to say no when you got so excited? You played me.”

She laughed, shaking her head as she pulled her red dress out of its bag and smoothed out the wrinkles. When Poe had told them that he wanted to plan a Halloween party, with costumes mandatory, Rey instantly knew what she wanted to do. The Princess Bride.

There was no denying it; the thought of Kylo in those black pants, billowing shirt, and pirate boots… it did embarrassing things to her. And how could she not love the idea of dressing up like Buttercup? That red dress still gave her flutters in her chest every time she watched the movie.

She’d never thought that he would agree but here they were, and he was filling out that costume in all the ways that she had hoped. Better than she had hoped, if she was being honest.

He lifted his arms in front of the mirror, his black sleeves puffing with air from the movement. It was a little comical looking but all she could focus on was the way that shirt stretched across his broad chest, the front ties just begging to be undone.

Fuck, it was going to be a long night.

She draped her dress over her bed, going over and wrapping her arms around Kylo to press a kiss on his shoulder. “Listen, it’s Halloween. Everyone gives each other a hard time about their dorky costumes, that’s just part of the fun. But I think you look amazing.”

His dark eyes met her own in the mirror, an uncertain look settling on his face. “You really do?”

Rey nodded, letting her hands slide down a little, fingers dipping under his shirt to stroke at the bare skin of his stomach. “I’d be happy to show you just how good I think you look, after the party.”

His stomach muscles tensed under her hands and she could see a small smile curling at the corners of his lips in the mirror.

A deep sound rumbled through him. “Are you sure we can’t just cancel?”

Laughing, she pulled away and spun him around, tucking his shirt in quickly, then handed him his mask. “Not on your life. Poe would just break down the door and yank us out of bed.”

“I mean, I didn’t say anything about using the bed,” he said with a suggestive gleam in his eye.

She rolled hers with a grin, pushing him towards the door. “Go make sure everything is ready, I need to get dressed.”

Kylo dipped into a wide bow, backing out of the room. “As you wish.”

Her cheeks were hot as she closed the door, hating how easily he affected her.

——

Fifteen minutes later, she was just coming out of her room when someone knocked on the door. She heard Kylo heading to answer it so she took a minute to straighten her long dress and gave her apartment one last quick look over.

She had been worried that suggesting the party be here would end up being a mistake, but Poe and Finn had stopped by earlier and decorated the whole place. It felt like every inch was covered in cobwebs, bats, or black lace tablecloths, the whole place lit up with festive purple and orange lights. To be honest, she had just wanted the party to be here so if Kylo got overwhelmed, he could go hide in the bedroom and calm down without feeling weird. But it had actually turned out better than she had hoped.

He still hadn’t come back from answering the door so Rey made her way over to make sure everything was okay. The sight that greeted her was nothing she could have ever imagined.

Poe, obviously dressed as Ian Malcolm, complete with thick-framed glasses, an open black button up, and a splint on his leg, was helping Kylo pull a very unamused looking Finn through her front door. Finn, who was wearing one of those inflatable t-rex costumes.

She lost her shit.

“Can you stop laughing at me and help?” Finn snapped, embarrassment obvious in his voice.

She tried her hardest to stop, she really did. But then she looked at him again.

“This is not helping,” he ground out. He tried to shoulder-shuffle through the door, his little dinosaur arms flopping around.

Kylo stepped back, covering his face with a hand, shoulders shaking. He was trying so hard.

“Okay, wait,” Rey managed to gasp out, trying to catch her breath. “How did you even manage to get him up here in the first place?”

Poe grinned hugely, like he’d accomplished some great feat. “We took him through the double exit doors around back. And I just walked behind him and held him up on the stairs. There were a few close calls but we made it.”

She just stared at him as Kylo shook his head slowly, lips pressed together tightly as he tried not to laugh.

“Can we talk about this after you get me through the door?” Finn nearly growled, much to Poe’s delight.

In the end, they just had to deflate his suit. Luckily, Poe brought the fan in case he wilted throughout the night. He was free to move around the kitchen and living room, though no one mentioned what the plan would be if he needed to go to the bathroom. She supposed they’d tackle that one when they got to it.

On the plus side, they’d all been so busy laughing at Finn’s costume that no one commented on Kylo’s, though Rey did catch Poe checking out his ass with an approving look on his face.

A few minutes later, someone else knocked on the door and Rey let in Rose and her sister Paige, both dressed as Hogwarts students. Though they weren’t super close, especially with Rey not working at the cafe anymore, she’d always liked Rose’s sweet and supportive nature.

A couple more friends of Poe’s shuffled in and Rey’s little apartment was starting to feel a bit crowded. She wiggled through people to find Kylo serving drinks out of a bowl shaped like a witch’s cauldron and oozing mist from the dry ice.

“Hey,” she muttered, pressing against his side. “You doing okay?”

He nodded, though the movement was a bit jerky and she could see a muscle tick in his jaw. This many people in her small apartment, necessary socializing with strangers… it was wearing on him.

“Don’t forget, just say the word and I’ll create a distraction so you can slip away.”

His smile was strained but genuine. “I’m okay for now.”

“I’m not,” an annoyed voice said from the other side of the counter. Hux stood there, empty cup in hand, trademark scowl across his face. “I’m exhausted thanks to my client from hell and everyone keeps giving me dirty looks for not wearing a dumb costume.”

Kylo looked thoughtful, raising his eyebrows. “Client from hell… Hux, that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me. Maybe coming to a party and loosening up a little is good for you.”

Hux actually sneered at him. “You’re one to talk about loosening up, Ren. How long until you nervous sweat straight through that ridiculous shirt of yours? I only came because you said free drinks.”

“Actually,” Rey whispered loudly, “he’s only in a good mood because Rose wore that short plaid skirt.”

She was totally reaching, making a guess based off of the lingering, carefully expressionless look he’d given Rose across the kitchen earlier, but his ears turned bright red.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said stiffly, turning around and walking away with his empty cup.

They watched him go in a stunned silence.

“Well, that was weird,” Kylo finally said. “Should we warn Rose?”

Rey considered for a second. “I mean, I feel like I should, as her friend. But also, I want to see where this goes. And it’s not like Rose couldn’t take care of herself if he approached her. That girl would destroy him, and I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind seeing it.”

Chuckling, he leaned against the counter, looking visibly less tense and together, they watched Finn try to back into an empty corner without knocking anything over.

“This is the first Halloween party that I’ve ever been to,” Kylo told her. “Or uh, thrown, I guess.”

Rey grinned, remembering cheesy party after cheesy party over the years. It was pretty much an unspoken requirement that if you were throwing a Halloween party, it couldn’t be too high budget or cool.

“You haven’t missed much,” she told him. “They’re all pretty similar to this; silly costumes, cheap drinks, and cheaper decorations.”

“I kind of weirdly like it,” he admitted. He always sounded so surprised when he tried something new and enjoyed it.

She felt bad for a second, thinking about how she’d almost declined to have the party or go at all. Leia was throwing one for her foundation and all of the kids they’d been helping were invited. She didn’t want to miss it, or the chance to connect with some of the children who she’d been counseling, but now she was happy she did. Making these sorts of memories with Kylo would always be a priority to her.

“Then we’ll do another one next year,” she said, giving him a smile. “Though, we might have to use your apartment instead… mine will probably still be going through repairs after Finn gets done destroying everything tonight.” She laughed, having seen him knock several things over already.

He tensed up next to her. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that… though now might not be the best time.”

Rey could feel her eyebrows coming together in confusion. What exactly did he want to talk to her about? The Halloween party next year?

Taking his hand, she led him out of the kitchen and through the crowded living room, managing to make it to the bedroom in one piece. She distinctly heard a suggestive whistle that she knew was Poe, and gave him the finger and a saucy smile as she closed the door behind them.

BB immediately darted out from underneath her bed, Kylo’s mask firmly between his teeth. She’d been looking for it all day.

“You brat,” she muttered, going over to sit next to Kylo on the bed. He looked pale, paler than before, and his fingers were tapping out a frantic beat against his leg.

She caught this hand in her own, squeezing gently. “Hey, what’s going on? You’re obviously nervous.”

His dark eyes met hers, always so vulnerable and open. If anyone ever wanted to know what he was feeling, all they needed to do was study his eyes.

“You’d think after everything we’ve been through, I wouldn’t get nervous with you anymore,” he said, a self-deprecating smile curling at the corners of his mouth. “I wasn’t planning on asking you tonight but I just… I couldn’t get it off of my mind and we’re having a good time and it just seemed-”

“Ask me?” Rey cut him off, mouth going strangely dry. She was suddenly hyper-aware of the heat of his hand in hers.

He took a deep breath. “I wanted to ask you to move in with me. I mean, if you’d like to move in with me. I know we live literally right next to each other but if we moved in together, we wouldn’t have to-”

She laughed softly, cutting him off again. “Kylo, you don’t have to convince me. I’ve been hoping you’d ask for a while now. It makes sense and I want to live with you.”

And there it was; the look of surprise lighting up his face and turning his dark eyes into a warm brown.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay, let’s move in together.”

“Well, we can’t right this second,” she teased, shifting closer, heart pounding with excitement and love. “There’s kind of a party going on, if you didn’t notice.”

“Really? I didn’t,” he deadpanned, making her chuckle.

Leaning up, Rey kissed him softly, his lips warm and welcoming against her own. She’s known for a while now that home was wherever Kylo was, where they could be together.

He wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer, deepening the kiss eagerly. He tasted like relief and happiness, of the promise of their life together.

A loud bang on the door sent them jerking apart, a startled gasp escaping Rey.

“Are you guys getting it on in there?” Poe called, banging on the door again, sounding like he’d already had a few drinks. “I know life finds a way and all that, but there’s a party out here and we’re all going to listen to you guys if you are.”

A loud chorus of “nopes” and “no ways” followed his statement and one disgusted sounding scoff that had to have come from Hux.

Rey covered her face, wondering if this hadn’t been a mistake after all.

“You know what,” she told Kylo, who looked like he didn’t know whether he should laugh or hide under the bed. “I think my window opens to the fire escape. Want to sneak up to the roof and hide out all night?”

His laugh shook the bed. “That sounds perfect.”

Happy #ReyloValentine! I have a happy Dyad for you- in TLJ clothes ‘cause it’s my missing TLJ hour (it’s a standalone piece, my story will continue in March, I must rewrite the script and decide how long it will be. Originally it ended on part 20 with Ben saying 'I want to help’)