hnnnnnnnnnnng

season 2, colorized, 2020

Listen. You ARE nature. You’re an entire ecosystem. Your flesh sculpted from the dirt. Your blood brewed from rain water. Thousands of creatures living inside of you, on your skin, who wouldn’t be alive without you just like you wouldn’t be either without them. You are born from the forest and the sea. Be kind to yourself.

fuck you bitch my amoebas are home grown, i dont owe the dirt for my oils or my vitriol

Be nice to the land. You came from it and will be a part of it again one day, there is no escaping it. :)

Incredibly Ominous. Quite well, the OP has unbalanced your humors with the omininity.

Thank you plague doctor, love your plaguey ways.

i spent way too much time on this because i have Problems anyway here’s a half dead meme

[i.d. an image of the quote, “hello Jon. Apologies for the deception, but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.” written in black and white circular gallifreyan. end i.d.]

im not into dr who and im not caught up on tma but i have spent literal hours of my life today to bring you both a meme and now, this totally unnecessary addition. im very good at decision making what are you talking about

[i.d. jon sims is wearing baggy clothes with a quilt slung over one shoulder. he has short hair and clutches loose sheets of paper in his hands, some papers are crumpled and others flutter away where he cant keep a grip on them all. the papers have glowing eyes on them. jon himself also has glowing green eyes peering between the scars covering him. his normal eyes are static filled and scared. behind him is the above image, covered in static. end i.d.]

TMA is the JJBA of podcasts simply because you can say literally anything and not spoil shit cuz these episodes are that wild

For example:

- that coffee ad is mocking my insomnia

• coffin sings in the rain

• sculpting class leads to unintentional murder

• lightning-shaped monster gets trapped in a book

• man describes his relationship with the literal apocalypse as “complicated”

• man tells a mannequin it doesn’t sound Russian

• monster compares itself to a melody

• elderly woman flings an astronaut’s corpse into a pit to stop the apocalypse

• elderly woman blows up a gnostic church to stop the apocalypse

• monster goes shopping for a bouquet of flowers

• man briefly uses a coffin as a table

• fractals are evil

• police officer willingly gives evidence to a potential murder suspect

• homeless guy kills vampires

HEY HOW THE FUCK HAVE NONE OF YOU MENTIONED “THANK GOD WE FOUND THE GILFS SECRET STASH OF C4 SO WE CAN FINALLY KILL THE EVIL CLOWNS THAT STOLE MY BROTHERS SKIN”

here have some venn diagrams

in addition

The Monterey Bay Aquarium knew EXACTLY what they were doing here there’s no fucking way

why you gotta call me out like this

Skweezy strikes again

One of the first books I read in English as a kid, maybe 1 year after I started learning English, was a booklet with a title like, How to Have a Great Time at Summer Camp. I don’t remember the exact title and I know I only picked it up because the other books in English in my school’s library looked way beyond my level, stuff like Austen and Dickens. The summer camp booklet didn’t look too interesting but it was small with simple sentences. I ended up being fascinated with it because it was the most American thing I had ever seen and it felt impossibly exotic

I gotta say this is absolutely delightful and actually about as weird as summer camp is, even if you were slightly off on *how* it’s weird.

Being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of my classmates told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when I asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was just a baby and to this day the mental image of NASA launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

Brilliant dynamics to explore in the OG Team found family story that i’ll never write: 

– Sasha and Jon dealing with the awkwardness of Jon getting a job that Sasha should have had, while both realizing they have a lot of common and like each other a lot 

– TIM dealing with the fact that Jon got the job, and being determined to Not Like Jon as Much as he ends up liking him because of SOLIDARITY. Then Jon makes a dry sarcastic remark that sends Tim rolling on the floor for minutes and he’s like “oh goddamnit jon i remembered i genuinely like you” “..thanks?”

– Martin having to deal with 1. Tim and Sasha already being extremely close 2. Jon being clearly dismissive of him. Martin willing to let a few of Tim and Sasha’s unfortunate remarks go for the sake of friendship, until Jon notices and goes ‘you can tell them off you know if they get too much you know’ to which Martin blurts back impulsively: “should i tell you off as well when you’re being rude?” and then get speechless and wide eyed when Jon just blinks and snorts and says “yes.”

– Tim dealing with the fact he’s certain he’s in love with Sasha and they’re meant to be

– Sasha dealing with the fact her favourite person in the world is in love with her and it’s almost never awkward except when it suddenly is

– Them!being!all!lonely!in!their!own!ways!and!finding!that!together!they’re!good

– Sasha and Martin clashing the day he realizes she KnowsTM and she’s being kind but also a bit pitying about it which he literally cannot take. 

– Martin’s revealing slowly 1. his bitchy side (which delight Sasha and Tim SO HARD) and 2. how clever and competent he is (which makes Jon promptly fall in love with him and ask for his hand)

– probably so many other things i’m forgetting

So on stream, Jonny mentioned that he hasn't actually looked at too many pictures of archives and can not recognize one on sight. Combined with the fact that TMA Sasha stapled the statements and Jon didn't even know he needed a library science degree, I like to think the Institute's archives.... actually look nothing like an actual archive would.

Eric Delano walks in on the first day of his job and nearly has a heart attack not only because of the state of the organization but also WHAT IS THIS??? THIS DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE IT CAN BE AN ARCHIVE??? This looks like someone thought "libraries and archives are similiar right?" And proceded to make a half-assed library.

Eric contemplates putting in his resignation first day and only the supernatural elements prevent him from doing so.

The implication of this is that Jonah Magnus specifically has no idea what an archive is, and in 200 years could not be bothered to learn. The institute didn’t even have an archive until he realized how cluttered his office was getting and decided to chuck it all in the basement and slap an intern in charge of it. His primary criterium for selecting archivists is that they absolutely do not know enough about archives to call him out.

Jonah Magnus: I serve a dread god of terrible knowledge, endless watching and the reckless pursuit of information but I will be DAMMED if I'm going to look up what an archive is.

adhd student: i love learning and i actually hunger for knowledge, but the way the school system currently operates doesn’t work well for people with brains like mine. i am capable of maintaining acceptable and even good grades, but it takes about 3x the time and effort of the average student. all my life i have been receiving messages, overt and subtle, that i am deficient, lazy, and/or weird for my inability to perform well in that environment, and my self-worth has been utterly decimated as a result. 

what ppl hear:

Seeing how Jon didn’t just magically pop up in his Domain when the Eyepocalypse started does that mean all Avatars had to walk all the way to their respective Domains too? Jon only knows where he’s going because Eye Powers so did they have to ask for directions to get to their Domains? Did anyone get lost and end up in someone else’s Domain before probably getting beaten out ???

The other avatars just woke up in their perfect lil zones but Jon was radiating such don't fuck with me or my boyfriend energy that they just left him there lol

MAG 175