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it dawned on me that poe was seven during the events of the mandalorian, so...!

further good omens fic recs

It’s been awhile since my last reclist post so here goes, please enjoy the rewards of my complete lack of self-control when it comes to this ship.

Please reach out if I’ve missed a tumblr tag, or drop a note if you have any recommendations I’ve missed! ( 31 recommendations underneath the cut )

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Me, watching me make decisions that are absolutely going to make shit worse

Script for the unaired scene of Aziraphale opening his bookshop in 1800

I’m not saying that we were robbed, I’m just saying that we were EXTREMELY robbed

“Michael’s a wanker” OHHH COME ON! WE DESERVED THIS SCENE

HEY GAMERS, DON'T FORGET THAT IT'S ALWAYS OK TO PLAY EASY/NORMAL MODE INSTEAD OF HARD MODE, VIDEOGAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH!!

People on this site: How is it that 90% of my dash is filled with that gay angel and demon couple?

Anthony J. Crowley, who won three awards in Hell when he created Tumblr dot com:

Gotta hand it to you, you sly serpent.

do yall dhfgjhghdsfkgdfgdf

do yall think crowley prank calls aziraphales bookshop

crowley over the phone, putting on a silly accent: hello yes i think you have a book for Mr Cuetainjel reserved? first name Eyema

aziraphale: Eyema Cuetainjel? I’m sorry I don’t-

crowley: hahhahahha yES YOU ARE *immediately hangs up*

Aziraphale casts a dark look at the telephone - still going after the tenth ring. Nothing for it, then. “Fell and Company,” he lilts, cradling the antique receiver against his shoulder.

“Aah,” a voice croaks, hesitation. Aziraphale pinches the bridge of his nose - one of those. “Yeah, ah. I’m looking for a book.”

The speaker sounds maybe eighty years old, and mildly dazed. The brief flare of pity does little to quell Aziraphale’s irritation. “Well, as a dealer of rare and antiquated books, I suppose you’ve called the right place. Who is the author?”

“Oh, ah,” the old man dithered. “Gosh. Dunno. She’s one of those, uh.” Aziraphale counted, in effort to find patience. He got to six, and it didn’t help. “Y’know. One of those seer-people. Knows stuff.”

Aziraphale pauses, agitation quickly stilling. “Prophecy, do you mean?”

“That’s the one! Those prophecy-ers. Heard tell a copy cropped up somewhere down there, one I’ve been keeping an eye for since- ooh, ages now.”

Aziraphale has a brief flare of protection over his tomes, but enthusiasm for finding someone to discuss them with wins out. “Well, it just so happens books of prophecy are my specialty, my good man! If I don’t have it, I’m sure to know of it. Who is the prophet in question?”

For a brief moment Aziraphale thought he heard sniggering through the phone line, but apparently the gentleman was just readying himself for a long, hacking cough. Surely that can’t be healthy. “Ah, yeah. Name starts with… oh, I think maybe a K?”

Aziraphale considers. Quickly rules out the Biblical options, at least. “Kalifa, perhaps?”

“No, no,” the old man cuts him off, “No, C. It’s a C.”

“Mm,” Aziraphale says, “Well, there’s always Cassandra, of course.” A pause, but no reaction from his caller. “Er. Aleister Crowley, perhaps?”

There’s a funny sound through the phone again, though it’s another lung-rending wet cough, apparently. “Definitely not that one.”

“There was that American fellow, Cayce…”

“Ah!” The old man interrupts, again. Aziraphale frowns. “Her first name, I remember. It’s Eyema.”

“Eyema,” Aziraphale repeats, skeptical. “My dear sir, I’m quite positive-”

“Cuetanjel. That’s it, I’m sure of it.”

“Eyema Cuetanjel…”

The phone line bursts into sudden, suspiciously familiar cackling, and Aziraphale flares into a brilliant blush. “YEAH you are!” Crowley crows, laugh still whooping as Aziraphale slams the receiver down with a clatter

THIS IS SO CUTE AHSJDJFJFKFJ

Okay but can he jump out of the phone and kiss his angel in the end???

He could.

I gotta say, y’all, it makes me feel connected on a spiritual level every time somebody reblogs a gifset of Aziraphale with some tag along the lines of “I didn’t expect to love him as much as I did but holy shit”  because seriously that is the biggest mood.

Like, I was expecting to love Crowley. He was my favorite character in the book, I knew David Tennant would be perfect for him (and he was, GOD he was fantastic), I was 100% solidly prepared for that.

I was not

at all

prepared

for this soft smiley motherfucking N E R D.

LOOK AT HIM.

HE’S SO PRECIOUS????

He’s so excited? About everything?? Food, books, wine, learning the gavotte, double-crossing Nazis, you name it. He’s like a literal ray of sunshine every time he’s on screen, which is partly because he’s an angel and they deliberately dress him in white, and partly because Michael Sheen cranks every single emotion up to 11 and makes sure we see every single bit of it. (And that is the best acting choice e v e r.)

Like good lord, no wonder Crowley loves him after knowing him all of 5 minutes. How could you not?!

Crowley: I’ve had this angel for less than an hour but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. Literally everybody watching Good Omens: HARD SAME.

I just. Guys. Aziraphale. I can’t. I love him so much, and I’m so happy so many other people feel the same way.

I TOO WAS NOT AT ALL READY AND I TOO FELL FOR HIM IN .2 SECONDS

Headcanon: Crowley, like many reptiles, doesn’t really stop growing. Maybe he chooses to add a few centimeters to his snake form every year, perhaps it’s unconscious. Either way, by 2019… he’s a Big Snek. There’s at least twice as much snake to him as there is human form.

And sometimes he coils up and goes to sleep for a week or so while Aziraphale sits on him and reads.

it’s a very cozy arrangement–

identifying with Crowley is fun but identifying with Aziraphale just feels more honest. I too am trying to be soft and gay and good and eat my sushi but am actually three seconds away from suggesting murder at any given moment.

If Gaiman himself knocked on my front door and told me he would add Crowley and Aziraphale saying “I love you” to Good Omens but I had to give up “You go too fast for me, Crowley” to get it, I would turn him down in a heartbeat. I know damn well which one of those lines is more romantic. I know which one of those lines is going to haunt me for y e a r s down the road. I know which line I’m going to be crying about for the next century, and it isn’t some common i love you. You can put those words in any character’s mouth, but you’ll have to pry you go too fast for me from my cold dead fingers before I give it to anyone else.

“You go too fast for me, Crowley,” is beautiful and fucking perfect and there isn’t a goddamn “I love you” in existence that can match it for feeling

That’s because I love you is a cut out!! Those are three very good words, but they are a stencil you can use on anyone!!

you go too fast for me, Crowley are you fucking kidding me, not to be dramatic but those 7 words hold 6 millennia of unrequited love and still have room left over to hold the look on Aziraphale’s face when Crowley hands him those books and the devastation of two words scribbled on a piece of paper in a park, and an entire matching-tartan thermos full of Aziraphale’s worst fear for Crowley because he won’t lose Crowley to the getting of it and he knows Crowley won’t use it on himself if Aziraphale is the one who gave it to him, because that would make it Aziraphale’s fault and Crowley wouldn’t do that to him because Crowley loves him and they both know it.

There’s only 7 words and they say I’m sorry, and I can’t yet, and I want to, and I’m not ready, this is too much for me, there are too many things I have to sort through on my end still, and you don’t have to wait for me but I hope that you can because I meant what I said about picnics and dining at the Ritz but I also meant it when I said one day. And somewhere, tucked safely into the curve of one of the e’s where Crowley will have to find it later after unpacking the rest, are the words I love you, too.

I love how we think of the same things. Look, I wrote this yesterday as an original reply to this post and then went, “no, we’ll talk about this later” and dumped in a draft:

as someone who is both asexual and who lives with severe anxiety, “you go too fast for me, Crowley,” is the best and worst line in existence. It speaks to my very soul.

You can hear the resignation in his voice when he says it. The quiet acceptance of what he thinks is going to happen.

He’s saying, “I know what you’re asking of me, what you’re offering, but I can’t yet.” He’s saying, “Yes, I want it. Yes, I have feelings for you, but they’re still new and frightening for me. I have to get used to them first, before I can do anything about them.” He’s saying, “I know I take too long. I know I’m processing too slowly for you. You want more, but I can’t give it. It’s okay if you don’t want to wait.”

Not a single person in existence asked us, but we’re both out here like, “AZIRAPHALE DOESN’T EXPECT CROWLEY TO WAIT FOR HIM 😭😭😭”

I would also like to point out that the FOLLOW UP to this conversation is that not ONLY does Crowley fucking wait for him because of course he will wait as long as Aziraphale needs, he makes sure “one day” comes true for Aziraphale. Not once, but TWICE they are seen dining at the Ritz.

Look me in my fucking eyes and tell me that Aziraphale saying “Perhaps one day we could, I don’t know, go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz” followed by “you go too fast for me, Crowley” isn’t an EXPRESS timeline laid out for them as a couple because it fucking is. It’s 100% absolutely Aziraphale saying “I’m not ready right now, but someday when I am ready, I would like to do these things with you, if you’ll just wait for me.”

and that’s exactly what we see happen.

That is what KILLS ME.

Aziraphale tells him, in not so many words: “When I’m ready, I would like to dine at the Ritz with you.”

and then we later see them dining repeatedly at the Ritz together.

I just?? How??? does anyone?? It’s the most obvious narrative decision ever made!! And IMPORTANTLY, it’s made BEFORE the end. It’s made BEFORE they have experienced the stresses of the nonpocalypse and it’s shown to us in the first place casually, and they are both comfortable there, which implies that not only have they have done this before, they have done this often. Which means at some point we haven’t been privilege to seeing, there was a first time.

There had to have been, at some point in time between you go too fast for me and well I’ll be damned, a moment where one of them looked at the other and asked if they would like to dine at the Ritz. And either Crowley offered in a moment of bravery and Aziraphale decided that it was no longer too fast, or Aziraphale sorted out his shit and told Crowley he was ready for this by asking if he’d like to dine at the Ritz today, and honestly?? Thanks be, because I’m tired of just being TOLD people are in love, fucking show me it or get out of here, and Good Omens fucking delivered.

So yeah. You can have that exchange over my dead body.

tweet meme: good omens edition