horticultural lad

what if she was called chappell bone and instead of a singer she was a necromancer who raised strong as fuck skeleton warriors

dont apologize. skeletonomenon is beautiful

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

And several others as well. Clear data, disable, uninstall if you can.

please, white woman was my father. call me fart explosion.

i'm not the guy who always has mini bagels in his purse but today i happened to and, by some stroke of god, today also happened to be the day my brother declined a bagel in front of me with the statement "i'm not hungry enough for a whole bagel." so obviously i ask "would you be hungry enough for a bagel if it was like, a miniature version of one?" and when he said yes, miraculously pull a mini bagel from my purse. so now i seem like a guy who always has mini bagels on him

six years ago today I visited the Laumdronat

You'll never imagine how I misread this ground turkey

Telling my kids this is Chapell Roan.

the grape died in surgery but I have good news

rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like... mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild

Come for the woman in the cocktail dress, stay for the looney toons ass production

I’m really into internet discourse but only pointless and stupid internet discourse like how many holes there are in a straw (it’s 2)

This is exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m sorry but mathematically speaking this question has a single objectively correct answer, which is 1 hole. This can be very simply proven; a straw and a torus are homotopic, and a torus has one hole.

i odnt think thats true one of my friends is a taurus and hes fine with gay people

they're letting just anybody order a happy meal nowadays

i saw a sad person order one a d the employees jumped the counter and poured hot oil all on him and shatteredhis ankles with spatulas

they're letting almost anybody order a happy meal nowadays

i hate ~professional phonecalls in full generality but like, listen. i understand being on hold for a zillion years. i know places are shortstaffed. i get it. however i think i should not have to navigate more than 1 phone tree submenu in order to get to the point of being on hold. i was going to compare this to a labyrinth but i think that would be more fun and less stressful honestly. yes even with a minotaur

the hold music just got real distorted for a sec right after i posted this and i was like oh fuck. the minotaur

#everyone pause im trying to conceive of an audio labyrinth (via @theunfairfolk )

sorry are you telling us we have to hold

Surprise! Tumblr just got turned into an epic fantasy RPG, just like [your favorite appropriate media franchise]. And the Tumblr RPG's plot needs to have all of its characters covered, in roles both large and small.

That means that you are assigned to a stereotypical RPG role inside our new fantasy world. Spin this wheel to find out what you are now doing for a living.