why don't people in zombie apocalypse stories ever just wear suits of armor? you think any zombie is gonna get their shitty rotting jaws through this?

I'm gonna rip and tear my way through the zombie apocalypse completely unharmed because none of the undead hoards will be able to get through my plate mail

everyone else is like "oh we gotta stay inside the most secure places possible and never leave" and I'll be storming through the wastelands in my bloodstained suit of armor, blasting the Doom (2016) OST and plowing my way through waves of the undead. one of them tries to bite me but his shitty rotting teeth don't even leave a dent in my armor before I turn his head into paste. I'll be unstoppable until I die of dehydration or something like an idiot

this goes along with my other pet peeve about zombie apocalypse stories, namely: why does no one ever think to ride a bike? 

bikes are quiet- if the zombies react to loud noises, they won’t hear you on a bike the way they might hear you in a car. bikes don’t need gas, meaning you won’t be stranded if you run out. bikes are much, much easier to maintain than a car- there’s no computer that can short out, no fiddly engine bits that could kill you if you mess with them wrong. you can learn how to maintain a bike with a couple weeks’ worth of classes. almost every adult knows how to ride a bike, and without cars on the road, it’d be much safer to do. 

what i’m saying is

American author Mark Twain (b. 1835) lurches from his grave only to give you a massive thumbs up and die again

Mark Twain essentially invented the genre of a bystander sent into a time-travel sci-fi plot just to get someone to draw this image for him. And today we can simply search for such a picture. It is a time of wonders

#this post has everything. zombies. knights. bicycles. knights on bicycles. mark twain.

Happy Neil Day! Please enjoy the very rare alternate Neil images!

A comic (?) about my love of weird little bats for this halloween

Fuck it, I see this all over my feed, so I'm gonna join in.

If this gets 500 notes, I'll try to go outside once a day. ✔️

if this gets 1k notes, I'll start working on my book again. ✔️

If this gets 2k notes, I'll ask a teacher to call me by my chosen name. ✔️

if this gets 3k notes, I'll get more serious about learning Russian and French. ✔️

If this gets 4k notes, I'll get more serious about singing.

If this gets 5k notes, I'll ask to get a bass.(electric instrument(NOT THE FISH))

doing this on this blog cause it gets more attention and shit.

Welp, time to stratagize which teacher to tell.

You know, I probably should have swapped number 2 and number 3.

Guys, I'm not getting a fish.

I did not think we would ever get to 3000 fucking notes. thanks

NO FISH! I AM NOT GETTING A FISH! FUCK YOU!

@benzel babe, these people keep on telling me to get a fish :(

Is this just going to be what I'm know for now? F I S H??????????

How many notes for the fish?

10k probably

bet

@a-counter, @achivement-unlocked, @alphabet-statistician, @alphabetuncompletionist, @anti-gimmick-thceif, @are-there-grammar-errors, @b-counter, @biblepercent, @c-counter, @carbon-monoxide-detector, @cat-identifier, @cat-spotted, @citrus-typos, @colortracker, @colourpickingpride, @contraction-counter, @decontextifier, @digitcounter, @e-counter, @eggblackoutpoetry, @etho-spotted, @free-post-store, @gimmickblogcompletionist, @gimmick-mimic, @gimmickbloghunter, @gimmickbloghunterhunter, @happy-little-painter, @hellsite-quotes, @hellsitegenetics, @hemo-rainbow-completionist, @homestuck-word-counter, @i-bork-at-you, @i-give-chess-pieces-to-people, @i-meow-at-you, @i-reblog-your-post-with-balls, @i-remove-color-from-posts, @i-say-not-ok, @i-say-ok, @i-say-quite (o7), @i-shelve-posts, @i-tag-gimmick-accounts (stole your gimmick i guess), @identifying-cars-in-posts, @identifying-cleaning-products, @identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts, @identifying-guns-in-posts, @identifying-horses-in-posts, @icompilegimmickblogs, @identifyinggimmickblogsinposts, @identifyingtrainsinposts,

i hit the tag cap thank god i was only like 1/5 of the way through the list

also stole from i-tag-gimmick-accounts so I’m counting this

Oh, I've been tagged! In a thing!

Purrsonally, I think you should get a catfish. Teehee :3

but you’re not a kicked dog, are you? and you don’t really need the armor, do you?

Willowford Roman Bridge Abutment, Hadrian's Wall, Willowford, Cumbria

we should be getting iced coffee and going to creepy and musty antique stores together why must we be separated by our screens…

@allthefoolmine

Up The Wolves by The Mountain Goats // Minotauro by Jordi Garriga Mora

“This was the most physically taxing of all the film because of the lightsaber duels. Everytime I wasn’t shooting, I was rehearsing. Something that took weeks and weeks to shoot, even though it only lasts a few minutes on film. So it taxed me to the limit.”

MARK HAMILL “Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back” BTS › 1980

Important relevant thoughts courtesy of twitter

I studied fashion for years solely to answer this question: 

-Fitted t-shirts (notice how his collar and sleeves are snug against the body and not loose while also not being too tight; chest/shoulder/torso measurements really matter) 

-Flare bottom/bell bottom/wide fit jeans (loose leg jeans emphasise a smaller waist, which combined with fitted t-shirts gives a lot of 70s dudes the illusion of the ideal powerful twink body)

-Medium length hair and bangs/fringe and feathered hair for masc people (pulling the hair back and away from the face emphasises angular facial structure and gives masc people a mature look, while bobbed haircuts that frame the face and cover the forehead gives a younger look; hair feathering created a feel of energy and brightness) 

Voila, you have a good 70s boy right there if you follow the above instructions. 

I went all through the notes to find the post I wanted to reblog and boom here it is. Also this training is for The Empire Strikes Back, which was filmed in 1979-80 and released in May of 1980. The person in the notes who said “I’m glad bell bottoms didn’t cut back” is a bit mistaken because they did come back somewhat, as “extra wide boot cut flares”. I adore his scruffy hair here, and his cowboy boots with heels and his arrrrrrrrms.

We’re all just not gonna mention he did all the Star Wars training in jeans huh? King.

@parrishsrubberplant, relevant to our mutual love of Michael Praed.

Yes, and also ARMS

"Hm, I've already established that this nation in my story has a lot of sunflowers as a background detail, I should take five minutes real quick to see what those can be used for."

🎶You can eat the stalks! You can eat the leaves! You can eat the petals! You can eat the seeds! You can eat the tubers! Turn 'em into booze! Go and plant some sunflowers! If you don't you lose! 🎶

They’re also one of the few plants which can reclaim fallout.

They also scrub radiation and heavy metals from their environment, yeah.

Target audience reached.