nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

reblog to tell the person you reblogged this from that they are deserving of love and affection

Heart eyes💕

Another old Twitter post, it is v appropriate to post this now

Ryan Reynolds milking Hugh Jackman for all he’s worth will never not be funny.

ITS AN EXPRESSION, ITS A FUCKING EXPRESSION

tumblr is basically a big “close friends” but with people i don’t know

elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH

the part where she’s like “how many times do i have to tell you to call me elizabeth” and he shyly says “once more, miss swann” and once she walks away he gazes adoringly after her and whispers “elizabeth” to himself like he’s unworthy of it

then when he’s patching up the cut on her hand and she flinches and he says “i know, blacksmith’s hands… they’re rough” because he thinks that’s what’s bothering her HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!! THAT’S THE PINING I’M TALKING ABOUT BINCH!!! I DON’T ACCEPT LESS!!!!

he has like 10 chances to confess his love to her but waits until he’s dressed like this to do it: 

my man knows 1) the importance of a good outfit when shooting your shot 2) how to ACCESSORIZE. take NOTES.

Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

Me when I'm a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats

OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME

You know what you are so right... We have a bond, these 50 rats and I....

OH SHIT OH NO

WAIT

I CAN'T FEED THIS MANY RATS

Guess there's only one way to solve this... I must venture into the cheese caves...

Damn, it's dark in here

I was at a seminar about creating a better, kinder world for everyone. The first thing I did when it ended was to shove a small child and steal their ice cream.

Pasta is literally the best food ever how could anyone not like it

I literally have celiacs but yummy

It’s always “why did you get in the river” and “your soaking wet” and never How was the river The river looked fun was it fun

Well? Was it fun?

Yea

yea

check out this periodic table

I have made a lot of bad jokes but this is still probably my greatest hit

Surgeries and operations are being cancelled on the day of the queen’s funeral. These patients will have been on a waiting list for months if not years.

Everyone should be absolutely seething with rage.

what if writers did streams like artists did