A little is more than nothing

i feel like it says something about us as a species that somebody worked real hard to invent 3D printing when i think anyone who has ever used a printer would agree with me that we have not really gotten our arms around 2D printing yet. we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

anyway, i saved this one to send to my coworker and now you hang above our single staff printer in our very busy library and we get to look at you as this printer fails us day after day.

it’s an honor to be affiliated with a frustration that is so near and dear to my heart

“one must imagine sisyphus happy” no, one must imagine him a stubborn asshole who thinks he’s smarter than everyone including the gods. i’ve heard plenty of versions where hades gives him the CHOICE to roll the boulder up the hill; it’s the only way he’s getting into elysium. if he wants to walk away, fine! he’ll just be relegated to the asphodel meadows (the “nosebleed/overflow” section of the underworld where all the normies end up).

and sisypus, well, he’s a goddamn king. he cheated death! twice! a simple boulder is no match for his mighty wit.

hades’ punishment isn’t “you are forced to perform an unwinnable task forever”. it must fit sisyphus’ crimes. his hubris. any sane person, and quite a few insane ones, would spend a while pushing the boulder, maybe a few hours, maybe a few months, and eventually realize it was futile. an eternity in a peaceful meadow, not alone, not tortured, seems agreeable. but not to sisyphus. no, he’s too famous, too smart for that. he’ll get it to the top this time. this time. this time for sure.

I never realized Horses were the ultimate Himbo animal

community notes are so brutal. tumblr needs to add that feature to escalate our pvp capabilities

No the person who tweeted this made me laugh so hard the other day bc people were trying to correct them and they edited their shadow on picsart to keep the bit going

It turns out isekai is real and everyone hit by a truck gets instantly reincarnated into another world, but metacelestial mechanics means the Earth is currently out of range of the other worlds.

So when you get isekai'd, the only world you can get put in is... Earth.

Unfortunately because the world still remembers where you were, you end up right back where you were, which unfortunately has a speeding truck there. So you just die (the isekai ability is on cooldown).

This was supposed to be a shitpost about the comic book artist Phil Foglio but I tangented so hard that the original point got completely excised in the editing process. Welcome to ADHD

Any conspiracy theory about people going missing in National Parks is automatically silly to me. Like "Why are National Parks such a hotbed of disappearances???" because they're full of idiots. You've got thousands of people who've never pissed outdoors in their life wandering around the woods/desert/mountain with zero experience and zero gear and zero understanding that this place can kill them. You don't see as many disappearances in wild areas because people don't go to them unless they have some background knowledge. Whereas you get tour buses full of old folks and suburban families shuttling people into National Parks 365 days a year. If you took the same amount of buffoons and dropped them in the actual wilderness the disappearances would be significantly higher than at the parks. Use your brain.

Some fun stuff from the notes:

I met a girl last semester who volunteered at a national park for several years and she told a story of the time a facility that rehabilitates bear cubs had a lady pull up with a Black Bear in the back seat of her car because she had hit the bear with her car and drove an hour to the rehab facility with the bear in the car with her. They had to make a post that was like "PLEASE DO NOT BRING BEARS TO US. BEARS WILL KILL YOU"

I was thinking about Aragorn’s stupidly long legs again and I think it should be canon that he regularly smacks his forehead into low door frames and stuff. Just somwhere in Minas Tirith there’s a loud thunk followed by a long string of Sindarin swearwords and Arwen is like “ah yes, here he comes, the King of Gondor and Arnor, the love of my life.”

#it’s funnier because none of the humans around her are able to hear the thunk and the swearing so they think she has some kind of#Magical Elf Love Sense that anticipates his arrival#but no#she just hears him smacking his head on the weirdly low door by the eastern staricase AGAIN#also the elves are just as tall or taller but they NEVER smack their heads on the doorframes#unless they are very very drunk

WHY would you hide these GOLDEn additions in the tags?

#tolkien#lotr#aragorn#arwen#i see this headcanon and i raise you ‘minas tirith is the only city where aragorn does not smack his head on the doors’#because it was built by numenoreans before they were diminished (in spirit but also in height) by their exile#for everyone except aragorn and arwen the doorways are weirdly tall#for aragorn it’s just ‘oh thank the valar i don’t have to duck anymore’#it still takes him some time to shake the habit of ducking every time he goes through a doorway though#the first time faramir sees him do this he is very confused#the second time he sees arwen stuff her entire hand in her mouth to keep from laughing and is even more confused#the third time he asks what’s going on and almost dies of laughter when aragorn sheepishly explains that he’s used to smacking his head#every time he goes through a door

@winterinhimring YES

#So Rivendell ought to likewise have plenty of height in their doorways#Thus he didn’t develop the habit to duck early in life and so we get to keep the bit about Aragorn constantly whacking his head against#Other doorframes#But almost everywhere else WILL have shorter doorframes and he FORGETS#(Specially after that exhausting week around the battle of Helm’s Deep. The doorframes of the Riddermark aren’t built for the Dunedain)#So maybe it’s a toss up as to when he remembers to duck and when he forgets and when he remembers he doesn’t actually need to#Get this man some stability he’s earned it

@lady-merian These are BRILLIANT additions.

more excellent tags from @exercise-of-trust 😂

Bree being one of the only settlements that is actually designed to accomodate both tall and short people is actually surprisingly easy for Strider, as he is like. Aha. Inclusive architecture. The presence of a choice of doorway heights signals to me that I must pay attention to which one I select!

Unfortunately, his increased awareness of his head directly corresponds to reduced awareness of his legs, and while he can brilliantly navigate his way to a good Lurking Corner in any given Bree pub without hitting his head on a single chandelier, he then stretches out his legs and wipes out two hobbit servers with glasses, a guy selling spectacles, the chandelier itself, and ultimately a percentage point of the local economy

Hence where he got his nickname. The barkeep chewed him out rather a lot and during the rant asked “what you need those long legs for anyway? What stridin’ about have you t'do?” The third time he tripped someone, he overheard the servers training each other for the strider’s legs.

If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.

Anyway, here's a helpful diagram. When I was hit on the temple this was one of the harder things I had to reteach myself. Don't be shamed into not asking questions, and it's alright if it takes you a while to figure it out. Don't let someone make you feel bad for learning new things, or relearning old ones.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to teach yourself. YouTube is a valid option.

yeah okay ill reblog that :]

an otter piece for a friend

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

This poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time.

THE SACRED TEXTS!

Here's to every pet-related worker who has to deal with "Her name is BELLA you've seen her before just look her up." You're a real one. May you grow in power for every Bella in your system.

I don't say this to shame owners for their pets names. But please know that if you bring in your goldendoodle Bella, or your black cat named Loki, or your corgi named Ein - Please give staff some additional info to help locate your pet's information. Approximately 1/10th of that database is filled with pets who have the exact same name and breed as your animal, don't get mad if we can't find them immediately please.

The 605 Bella Smiths in our system would like a word with you.

See also: Teddy, Cooper, Stella, Charlie, Finn, Leo, Lola, Luna …

Like, you try getting one Teddy at a doggy daycare/dog camp to listen to you when there’s three other Teddys in the group. They don’t know their last name. They’re all very cute names. But going out with the dogs at my job is like when I was a kid and literally ten percent of my class was named Jennifer.

I remember taking my cat, Steve, to an animal hospital. To my knowledge, there was not another cat named Steve MyLastName there. There was however a vet tech by the name of Steve MyLastName.

Apparently they distinguished them by calling them Human Steve and Cat Steve.

Buddy is finally going out of fashion

As someone who works in a human hospital, and before that worked in human outpatient clinics, and before that worked at a human school:

Do you know how many Thomases we have in our database? How many Rogers? How many Xuans and Kerries and Annas and Marks and Zoes?

For the love of God, stop assuming you can give me just your first name and have me find you. I can't. I promise. I currently work in a specially department with around 150 repeat patients. Two of them have the exact same name. I shit you not, they're called Old Joseph and Young Joseph because their first names, last names, AND MIDDLE NAMES are all the same.

Unless your parents literally invented your name and you know for 100% sure that no one else on the planet shares it, then DO NOT ASSUME THAT YOU CAN GIVE US YOUR FIRST NAME AND WE'LL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Same goes for your pets. My dog shares his name with a million other dogs. The vet doesn't know who he is if I just tell them his name. Give us more to go on, we're begging

You know what blows my mind is when you meet someone who literally does not eat vegetables. #scurvy

The people acting like this post is attacking them I’m gonna piss myself

#if you don’t get the proper nutrients you can develop detrimental medical conditions#‘oh you hate me and want me to die now?????’ that’s entirely different

there was backlash from homeschooling "parents rights" advocates in my area before because of a daycare teaching kids about consent...all they learned is that you don't have to accept unwanted physical intimacy. one scenario that happened is a parent told her toddler boy to kiss a toddler girl in class. toddler boy comes back and says that toddler girl didn't want a kiss. it turns out the kids were taught that you don't touch someone if they say "no". parents thought this was ridiculous. I felt crazy hearing them talk about it, why in the world would you be upset by kids respecting each others boundaries, and why are you asking your toddlers to kiss each other in the first place as if they're toys and not human beings?

Related:

If the idea of consent gets in the way of total obedience then consent is the thing a lot of adults would rather discard.

[Alt text: Domestic violence expert Kathryn Goering Reid, who used to train clergy on child sexual abuse prevention, says that religious leaders she encountered were all in agreement that it is wrong to sexually abuse children and that steps should be taken to prevent it. But, she says, her audience was far less willing to go along with the idea that children should be taught to say no to their abusers. "When you start to teach the child that they have a right to say 'no', that they have a right to question authority, that became the sticking point in the curriculum," says Reid. /End alt text]