RECONSTRUCTION

PAPERCUT.

• Why does it feel like night today?
• Why am I so uptight today?
• Paranoia is all I got left.
• I know what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head.
• It’s like I’m paranoid lookin’ over my back.
• It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head.
• It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within.
• Your paranoia’s probably worse.
• I don’t know what set me off first.

ONE STEP CLOSER.

• I cannot take this anymore.
• I find bliss in ignorance.
• I’m about to break.
• I need a little room to breathe.
• I’m one step closer to the edge.
• I wish I could find a way to disappear.
• Shut up when I’m talking to you.

POINTS OF AUTHORITY.

• Forfeit the game.
• You can’t run the race.
• You just won’t last.
• You love the way I look at you.
• My pride is broken.
• You like to think you’re never wrong.
• You live with what you’ve learned.
• You have to act like you’re someone.
• You want someone to hurt like you.

CRAWLING.

• These wounds they will not heal.
• There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface.
• This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending.
• My walls are closing in.
• I’ve felt this way before.

IN THE END.

• It doesn’t even matter how hard you try.
• Time is a valuable thing.
• I wasted it all just to watch you go.
• I kept everything inside.
• Even though I tried, it all fell apart.
• I tried so hard and got so far.
• In the end? It doesn’t even matter.
• I had to fall to lose it all.
• You’re acting like I was part of your property.
• You fought with me.
• Things aren’t the way they were before.
• You wouldn’t even recognise me anymore.
• I’ve put my trust in you.

MY DECEMBER.

• I just wish I didn’t feel.
• I take back all the things I said.
• I’d give it all away just to have somewhere to go.
• I’d give it all away just to have someone to come home to.
• This is all I need.

BREAKING THE HABIT.

• Memories consume like an opening wound.
• You all assume I’m safe here.
• I don’t want to be the one.
• I’m the one confused.
• I don’t know what’s worth fighting for.
• I don’t know why I instigate and say what I don’t mean.
• I don’t know how I got this way.
• I know it’s not alright.
• I had no options left.
• I’m the one at fault.
• I’ll never fight again.
• This is how it ends.

NUMB.

• I’m tired of being what you want me to be.
• I don’t know what you’re expecting of me.
• I’m under the pressure of walking in your shoes.
• Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
• I’ve become so numb.
• I can’t feel you there.
• All I want is to be more like me and be less like you.
• Can’t you see that you’re smothering me?
• Everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you.
• I may end up failing.
• You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST.

• I dreamed I was missing.
• You were so scared.
• No one would listen because no one else cared.
• What am I leaving when I’m done here?
• Forget the wrong that I’ve done.
• Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.
• Don’t resent me.
• Keep me in your memory.
• Don’t be afraid.
• I’ve taken my beating.
• I’m strong on the surface.
• I’ve never been perfect.
• I’ve never been perfect, but neither have you.
• Save me from myself.

SHADOW OF THE DAY.

• Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
• Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.
• The sun will set for you.
• Your friends all plead for you to stay.
• Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple.

WHAT I’VE DONE.

• There’s no need.
• I’ve drawn regret from the truth.
• Let mercy come and wash away what I’ve done.
• Let go of what I’ve done.
• I’m forgiving what I’ve done.

• I said goodbye.
• All I could think was I need a way to dig through the damage.
• I see you takin’ advantage.
• I found another reason to do this.
• I wanna find a way to rattle you.
• I’m not done.
• There’s nothing left.
• Darkness turned to light.

         “It’s fine, Eleanor.” If he were being honest, he hadn’t really even gotten everything that they had gotten through at that point. Was history supposed to be a tough class? Was it just because of the way that he had grown up, viewing the world as completely different than it seemed to be? If he were being honest, he was still just waiting for the vampires to show up, even if he knew they wouldn’t. “I think I’m just stupid.”

         “Right.” He’d had broken bones before, though he wasn’t quite sure how exactly to check for other people’s. There were going to be classes on that, all related to all the medical shit that came in handy when you may have gotten your ass kicked, but he hadn’t been able to stay around for that long. Instead, all he could do was go based off of information that he already had, which really wasn’t a lot. “Uhm, you could probably take a couple pain relievers, and then uh, sleep. Sleep probably.”

         He was also a little worried about teaching the things that he had learned. There was no way that he could teach her in the same way that he had learned, because that would just be mean and painful. “Yeah, I mean, it’d definitely be some work, but probably a good idea. Better to know how to defend yourself if you have to deal with pieces of shit like those guys.” And it would make him feel a little bit better about all of this, as well.

nothing better than hanging out w a cat….. love those triangle ears……….. love thos meows…. the mrows….. the mews, if you will,

send me  🍸 for a moodboard of our muses send me  🍷 for an aesthetic of our muses send me  🍹 for a short fanfic/headcanon of our muses send me  ☕️ for a mini playlist of our muses

           Yup, he had guessed right, he was a total idiot. “We can’t do it, can we?” His hands will go to run through his hair, eyes focusing much more on the table than on her. Maybe he should have gotten help way before this, but he just couldn’t stand the judging that could very possibly come with it. It was one of those times that he wished for nothing more than to have just grown up normally, to be nothing more than your boring, average teenager. “God, I’m fucking screwed.”

         It wasn’t often that Pip was caught so openly being concerned for someone, and he was never quite sure if he was doing the right thing when he got concerned. Everything nice that he did was something that he had taught himself how to do, or had picked up from Freddie or a movie or something. This side of his was never one that was encouraged. “Do you think that anything’s broken?” He’s afraid to touch her at all to try and help figure that out, as if a simple touch could end up making things worse. Knowing himself, it would.

        “Yeah, but punching stuff in the face usually helps.” Or it gets a completely innocent party beat up when you can’t be there to do anything about it. He sighs a little, though he isn’t quite sure how he could go about the situation otherwise, a feeling that he’s not going to voice out loud. An eyebrow raises at the joke. “You actually want to learn?” Though he had picked up on the joking tone, he’s much more serious. 

         A pencil taps against his book, and he wants to choose his next words carefully. If there’s one thing that Pip hates, it’s seeming dumb to people. His whole childhood had been spent as the dumb one, and most of the time he did about average these days. History was the one subject that seemed to break his streak, and with his pride, he pretty much refused to get a tutor. “Uhm, I have no idea. The beginning?” Voice is tentative, and he’s pretty sure he already sounds stupid. A hand runs through his hair, a small sigh. “Is there a lot?”

i’ve been seeing these going around, so i might as  well add my own to the mix. LIKE this post for a  STARTER. eleanor doesn’t bite, i promise, but i’d  really love to interact with all of you !! also, make  sure to specify if you want a specific verse please !!