It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

Being a dick even to demons

the iconic pose throughout the year ™

Also a chronology of Steve Rogers Being Too Old For This Shit.

Pretty sure I drove through Night Vale on my way home tonight.

“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”

that’s just how living in the mid west be

TG: o hey johnny TG: no what happened?

GT: there…there was a crash when she was out on a job. the whole ship was lost. the only thing they found was her eye.

TG: O TG: r u ok?

GT: i’m...alive. GT: doing jobs through mindfang right now to keep casey going.

loki BEEN pansexual and genderfluid 

let 👏 bisexual 👏 girls 👏 love 👏 boys

what

LET 👏 BISEXUAL 👏 GIRLS 👏 LOVE 👏 BOYS

who’s stopping them

Lesbians who say they’ll never date a girl that has touched a man. People that say bi girls will cheat because they’re bi. There’s so much biphobia not only with straight people, but in the gay community

my lesbian friends who told me they were “high-key disappointed” when i started dating a cishet boy. my ex girlfriend who asked me “wait weren’t you gay” and then when i explained i was bi went “um. ew lol”. the whole “gold star lesbian” bullshit. can we face the biphobia in the lgbt community instead of shoving it under the rug lol

I’ve seen and reblogged this for the boy version as well, so it’s only fair if I do it for girls as well!!

LET 👏 GIRLS 👏 LOVE 👏 WHOEVER 👏 THEY 👏 LOVE

ghost-on-the-wind replied to your post: If anyone has questions about my services, my…

vV Discipline! Vv I’m officially licenced by the Empire as a disciplinarian. Best on the planet!

okay, that…does not tell me a whole lot, honestly. like, what does that entail? do you give people stern lectures, or shoot them?

No, no, no shooting! I’m specifically hired for minor crimes, ones that don’t warrant a death sentence. The actual sentence from the Empire is usually just a spanking, but I offer private sessions for more than that! Including:

1. Scrubbing out filthy mouths with a bar of soap. 2. Spending some time with your nose in a corner. 3. Writing out lines. 4. Semi-public humiliation, usually a beating with witnesses. 5. Sometimes, rarely, keyholder services for chastity.

But I sometimes take requests for more unconventional punishments! Just don’t ask me to pail you.

...huh. that's... definitely not what i expected to hear. i had no idea the empire did that sort of stuff.

Alternative human evolution. Illustration by French artist Lucien Rudaux, 1930s.

that’s just an Australian

@rozjackal

ghost-on-the-wind replied to your post: If anyone has questions about my services, my…

vV Discipline! Vv I’m officially licenced by the Empire as a disciplinarian. Best on the planet!

okay, that...does not tell me a whole lot, honestly. like, what does that entail? do you give people stern lectures, or shoot them?

Send “Risqué” for a NSFW situation between our muses

I’ll generate a number to find the situation our muses end up in

Weiterlesen

Whoa man

✯ STEAMED HAMS BUT IT’S AN RP SENTENCE STARTERS MEME

❝ well, _____, i made it… despite your directions. ❞ ❝ ah, _____! welcome! i hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon! ❞ ❝ uhh… ❞ ❝ oh egads, my roast is ruined! but what if… i were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? ❞ ❝ oh ho ho ho ho… delightfully devilish, _____!  ❞ ❝ _____ with his crazy explanations. ❞ ❝ _____’s gonna need his medication, when he hears _____’s lame exaggerations. ❞ ❝ there’ll be trouble in town tonight! ❞ ❝ _____! ❞ ❝ _____, i was just, uh… just stretching my calves on the windowsill. isometric exercise! care to join me? ❞ ❝ why is there smoke coming out of your oven, _____? ❞ ❝ uhh… no! that isn’t smoke. it’s steam. steam from the steamed clams we’re having! mmm… steamed clams! ❞ ❝ _____, i hope you’re ready for mouthwatering hamburgers! ❞ ❝ i thought we were having steamed clams. ❞ ❝ d'oh, no. i said steamed hams! that’s what i call hamburgers! ❞ ❝ you call hamburgers ‘steamed hams?’ ❞ ❝ yes. it’s a regional dialect! ❞ ❝ uh-huh… uh, what region? ❞ ❝ uhh… upstate _____. ❞ ❝ really? well, i’m from _____, and i’ve never heard anyone use the phrase ‘steamed hams.’ ❞ ❝ oh, not in _____, no. it’s an _____ expression. ❞ ❝ i see. ❞ ❝ you know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at _____. ❞ ❝ oh ho ho ho… no, patented _____ burgers. old family recipe. ❞ ❝ for steamed hams? ❞ ❝ yes. ❞ ❝ yeah, so you call them ‘steamed hams’ despite the fact they are obviously grilled. ❞ ❝ ye- hey- you know, the- one thing i should- excuse me for one second. ❞ ❝ of course. ❞ ❝ well, that was wonderful. a good time was had by all, i’m pooped. ❞ ❝ yes, i should be- good lord, what is happening in there!? ❞ ❝ aurora borealis? ❞ ❝ uh- aurora borealis!? at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!? ❞ ❝ yes! ❞ ❝ may i see it? ❞ ❝ no. ❞ ❝ _____, the house is on fire! ❞ ❝ no, mother—it’s just the northern lights! ❞ ❝ well, _____, you are an odd fellow, but i must say… you steam a good ham. ❞ ❝ help! help! ❞

I don’t know what that species is, but they look cute. Kinda squishy and delicate, but cute!

which species are you talking about?

I’m not completely sure!

They have pale pink skin, and no horns. Dull teeth, too, and I don’t see any claws.

… uh, you mean humans? like me?

Looking at your profile picture, you look the same, yes.

vV You look adorable! Vv

oh, uh, thanks? sorry, i always forget that my universe tends to be the weird one. i'm sure you're cute too!

I don’t know what that species is, but they look cute. Kinda squishy and delicate, but cute!

which species are you talking about?

I’m not completely sure!

They have pale pink skin, and no horns. Dull teeth, too, and I don’t see any claws.

... uh, you mean humans? like me?