Sometimes I think about how much, after the planet, and especially while dealing with Malick on his own, Fitz is becoming more and more like Ward.

It starts with the not so obvious things – just being harder and harsher because he’s dealing with grief, and maybe he’s a bit more intent on revenge and justice the longer he has to deal with things alone, but it’s nothing like Ward’s obsession with closure. He’s a bit more comfortable around death, even if he’s still not necessarily a fan of collateral damage, and there’s enough of a numbness to things that killing is something he can do. But those things? Those come with the job. Those come with being an agent, whether you want them to or not.

Then there are the bigger things. When they first teamed up again, they were the same – two agents that SHIELD refused to take care of who were grieving and leaned on each other and Hydra for distractions and resources. They’re still the same, though maybe Fitz is a few steps behind ( which is good thing if it means he hasn’t ended up dead yet ). He’s grieving again, only this time he’s alone, and he’s doing the same thing Ward did – he’s going to take over Hydra and get his revenge once he has the power.

The biggest thing is when he’s doing it on purpose. He has to gain Malick’s trust and go under cover in order to take over again, but was never trained for any of that. Of all the resources he has at his disposal so that he can learn, and quickly, the best one of all is personal experience – Ward’s personal experience, inside SHIELD, when he was tricking everyone else. So that’s what Fitz does, he plays pretend, he uses what he knows and maybe it’s a little bit like having Ward back, or at the very least he feels close to him again. He can be Malick’s loyal agent, he can follow orders, he can tell selective truths, he can gain trust. It was exactly what Ward did for nearly a year while living on the same plane as him. How hard could it be?

But the most important things? Those are the ones no one quite pieces together, because he’s always done them in one way or another. Maybe he’s closing off just a bit more, hiding the fact that he’s feeling as much as he is. Maybe he’s being colder to people to push them away ( he gets too many people hurt. they can’t be close to him anymore ). Maybe he’s being just a little bit more reckless than normal, caring even less about his own safety. Maybe, once Malick is out of the picture, he’s embracing the new leadership too easily. ( he never tells anyone, and he never lets anyone see, but maybe he’s talking to himself again, only this time it’s not Jemma’s face and voice that his mind conjures up when he needs advice )

Because they both have a secret, and they kept it even from themselves long before Hydra came out of the shadows, or brain damage made things difficult, or alien artifacts transported someone he loved to the other end of the universe, or Hydra was the best option for bringing her back.

                                              THEY WERE ALWAYS THE SAME.

Send in a symbol from YOUR muse to see how MY muse will react to yours!  For the ones where YOUR muse gives or says something to mine: WILD CARD! Your muse can pick the item, sings a specific song, or says a specific thing!

• ✩  Grooming, brushing, or tending to their hair.
• ✪  Rubbing their back after a stressful day or disappointment.
• ★  Cooking them their favorite meal and feeding them.
• ✬  Making them their favorite hot beverage.
• ☼  Cuddling on the sofa next to each other.
• ☀  Singing them to sleep.
• ☆  Getting them something they need before they ask for it. 
• ☄ Leaning your head on their shoulder while they talk.
• ✥ Play fighting!
• ❃  Mussing their hair or tugging at their clothes (a hat, sleeve, etc.)

• ♥  Laying by their side and watching them while they sleep with a fond smile.
• ♡  Kissing the corner of their eyes.
• ❥  Running your hand over their arm and gently pulling them close.
• ❤  Whispering sweet nothings in their ear. 
• ❦  Holding hands and nuzzling somewhere ambient and low-lit.
• ❣  Staring deep into their eyes with adoration.
• ღ  Rubbing your leg against theirs under the table.
• ℒ  Pulling them into a hall/alley to kiss them passionately.
• ￡ Brushing your hand over or gently squeezing their bum.
• Ω Running a hand over their collar bone or décolleté.

• ✖  Soft nips at the neck and shoulder line.
• ✗  Bathing, washing, or soaking together quietly after sex.
• ♦  Body worshipping their naked form, slowly.
• ✚  Painting honey dust, edible paint, or other soft brush strokes on their body.
• ✦  Giving a sensual massage.
• ♢ Straddling their lap and holding their face to yours for a deep kiss.
• ▲ Dressing them up in lingerie (or gear) with gentle attention.
• ▽ Running your hand between their thighs, and splitting their legs apart.
• ► Unzipping their clothes free and kissing their neck.

• “It never works for us, and it never will.”
• “I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.”
• “I can’t fall in love with you.  I don’t want all the pain that comes with it.”
• “My roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I haven’t been able to sleep in that bed since you left.”
• “I keep asking myself “why isn’t the sun bright anymore” but then I remember you’re not in my life anymore and realize it’s just my own eyes.”
• “I regret it all.  I really do, I swear.  Please, please– let’s fix this, please.”
• “Remember when you promised we’d always be together?  Because I remember when I thought you meant it.”
• “I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!”
• “The phone calls aren’t the same… I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore.”
• “I’m trying to avoid talking because I know what it’ll lead to, and I don’t want that to come.”
• “Don’t you think you can fall back in love with me?”
• “This whole time I’ve been using you to make me feel better, and you never caught on.  You never caught on.  I want you to hate me now, but I don’t think you’re even able to.”
• “Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?”
• “Every time we fix things something else ends up breaking.”
• “Why don’t we stop pretending we’re not on a road to destruction?”
• “It wasn’t even fun at first, honestly.  It was just like… Morphine.”
• “You’re just not enough anymore.”
• “It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.”
• “Ah, it was all my fault.  Wasn’t it?”
• “To think, we thought just the sex would be enough to keep us in love.”
• “Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you.  You needed to move on from me– I needed to protect you from me.”
• “You never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”
• “Quit trying to fix me when you need to just fix yourself.”
• “I’m so tired of everything about us, and about how we thought we were in love, and how we think forcing it can make us be in love– I’m so tired of it.”
• “This whole time you’ve still been in love with him/her… Not me.”
• “I couldn’t make you fall in love with me.  I thought I could do it, I really did, but… But I know you… And this isn’t love.”
• “Did you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?”
• “To think I’ve changed so much to get you to like me, and you still never really look my way.”
• “I know I deserve better than you.  I realize that, but you were so broken… I didn’t want to be the one that made you shatter.”
• “All of this was to protect myself.”
• “I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy.”
• “I never want to even hear your name during my life anymore.”
• “Your lips used to be sanctuary, but now I just feel trapped.”
• “Isn’t it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?”
• “The thing I regret the most is giving you so much hope by agreeing to this date.”
• “We have the kind of history anyone would never want to think about again, and you’re hear asking me on a date?”
• “What makes you think I’ll be any different this time?”
• “I’ll let you down.  I will always let you down.  I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.”
• “Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”
• “I should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.”
• “I’ve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.”
• “I can’t forget about him/her!  It’s not in my power to forget how he/she felt when they loved me.”
• “The saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying.  He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.”
• “Listen…  You’re his/her best friend… and I completely fucked up– it’s over between us, but… please, punch me, or punish me, or do something to me because he/she just… cried.  He/she wasn’t even angry, they were just so sad– Please, be angry at me, please.  Give me what I deserve.”
• “It would have been better if we never met.”
• “You’re my regret.”
• “I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”
• “Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.”
• “This is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”
• “Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love.  How pathetic.”